


The Closer: Season 7

by grrriliketigers



Series: The Closer/Major Crimes Companion Series [1]
Category: Major Crimes (TV), The Closer
Genre: Alternate Canon, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-10
Updated: 2014-05-10
Packaged: 2018-01-24 04:36:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 61,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1591886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grrriliketigers/pseuds/grrriliketigers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Re-telling of Season 7 episode by episode of The Closer with Brenda/Sharon as the established couple and how the lawsuit threatens their home life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Brenda sat on her side of the bed rubbing lotion on her legs when Sharon emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a fluffy towel, wet hair clinging to her neck and face. Under ordinary circumstances Brenda would find the disheveled Captain more than she could resist... but these were no ordinary circumstances.

 

Today, she found out that the Captain still planned to pursue the damned investigation even though Chief Delk – god rest his soul – was six feet under and the audit should have gone with him. _Today_ her girlfriend was willfully pursuing an investigation against her.

 

Sharon was painfully aware that Brenda wasn’t looking at her. Sharon had gotten in late, she’d purposefully avoided the house until she knew Brenda would have already eaten. She felt like a coward but she believed in her oath to uphold the law, including holding herself to the same standards. As such, she refused, on moral principle, to divulge the fact that Pope – and Pope alone – had ordered the investigation to continue.

 

She’d been so angry. She thought back to her conversation with Pope and the anger welled up in her again. Time and time again she’d been used as the scapegoat, her position as Captain of FID already left her unliked and she was the perfect fall person for bosses who wanted their units investigated. The old ‘don’t blame me, blame internal affairs’ routine was really starting to get old.

 

Brenda didn’t want to believe that Pope would throw her under the bus. He was named in the lawsuit too… he should want the lawsuit to go away.

 

It didn’t matter how long she’d shared her home and her bed with Brenda, she was still internal affairs, she was still the enemy.

 

Sharon untucked the towel, slung it over the towel rack and moved to get into bed.

 

“Uh-uh!” Brenda protested.

 

Sharon paused, hand on the corner of her blanket. She narrowed her eyes, “uh-uh?”

 

“You think you’re getting into this bed then you’ve got another think coming.” Brenda folded her arms across her chest.

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Sharon blinked disbelievingly.

 

“I am not.”

 

“I have never kicked you out of this bed!” Sharon snapped, “not after any of those god forsaken overlapping investigations. I didn’t kick you out after you stole my evidence, diverted my detectives, sent me on wild goose chase after wild goose chase while you interviewed my suspects and countless other infractions that I can’t even remember anymore. I have never brought work home with us.”

 

“You’re goin’ to start tellin’ me how much I mistreat you at work?” Brenda felt a new surge of anger, her accent thickening as she went. “I have never questioned your conduct. Do you know that makes me feel? I may have done all those things but I have always done my job and solved my cases and gotten justice.”

 

“Yes, you have always done your job and I have _never_ held it against you. All I’m asking is the same courtesy. I am just doing my job.”

 

“No one made you pick IA.” Brenda grumbled.

 

“No one put a gun to my head, no. I made my own choice, I’m not making excuses but I did pick it, I’m the force investigation division Captain. You knew that when you picked _me_ , no one put a gun to your head either.”

 

Brenda picked up Sharon’s pillow and held it out to her. “Guest room’s down the hall.” She said stubbornly.

 

Sharon huffed, clenching her teeth to keep the outburst that threatened. She went over to her bureau and started forcefully opening her drawers and dressing quickly.

 

“What are you doing?” Brenda demanded.

 

“What do you care?” Sharon snapped. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted to break every breakable object in the room. She pulled on a pair of slacks and threw a cashmere sweater over a camisole.

 

“Don’t be like that.” Brenda scowled.

 

“Giving me orders in my own fucking house.” Sharon muttered under her breath, “take your indignation and shove it up your ass, Chief, have a good night.”

 

Sharon strode out of the bedroom.

 

“Sharon! You get back here!” Brenda leapt up from the bed and went to the doorway to watch Sharon descending the stairs. “I’m mad at _you_ , you don’t get to be mad at me!”

 

“Why don’t you call me when you figure out what’s really going on? Until then don’t even fucking talk to me.” Sharon slammed the door and a picture that hung near the door rocked on its nail.

 

Brenda stared at the door in astonishment. Did they just break up? Should Brenda move out? What had just happened? Brenda was willing to admit that _maybe_ she’d overreacted… _just a little._


	2. To Serve with Love

“Sharon? Answer your phone. Where are you?” Brenda demanded into the phone with a frustrated growl. She saw Agent Fritz Howard walking toward her and she turned to speak into the phone, “just call me when you get this message.”

 

She flipped her phone shut and rubbed her eyes, “oh, for heaven’s sake.”

 

“Rough day?” Fritz teased.

 

“Don’t even get me started!” Brenda whined. “This whole thing is a nightmare and I wish it would end… except I don’t want to go home.” She blurted, uncharacteristically sharing her feelings with her former boyfriend and FBI-LAPD liaison.

 

“Trouble in paradise?” He smirked. He’d taken it none too well when Sharon had successfully managed to snatch the blonde out from under his nose and was ready with the world’s largest I told you so as soon as Brenda uttered those magic words: “we broke up.”

 

Brenda pursed her lips, “ _no_. We have the exterminator coming and the house smells like deet.”

 

“Uh-huh.”

 

“Fritzy, I don’t have time to have this conversation with you right now!” Brenda huffed, “I have to figure out how to find Steven Hirschbaum and I need the world’s largest Reese’s cup.”  

 

“How’s the transparency audit going?”

 

“I’m not authorized to discuss an ongoing investigation.” Brenda mumbled. “Don’t y’all have something better to do? Like figure out how your security was breached so easily?”

 

She stared him down as he rolled his eyes and retreated. She pulled her cell phone back out and speed dialed Sharon again. After four rings it went to voicemail. “It’s me… again… I’m sorry that last message was snappish but I’m just havin’ a really hard case right now-”

 

“Brenda, I need you in my office right now.” Pope bellowed, leaning out the door.

 

“Can’t I just have one minute?” She cried, hanging up the call. She clipped up the hall toward the office.

 

“Don’t you need to finish your call?”

 

“I hung it up, Will, what do you want?” Brenda narrowed her eyes.

 

“You need to control your squad. This business with Flynn and Provenza is a public relations nightmare that we can only push off on Taylor for so long.”

 

“They were off the clock. I’m not their keeper.” Brenda drawled. “If you want to keep them wrangled then you should look into fitting them with ankle trackers. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

 

Back in the hallway she called Sharon again, “call me back when you get this message! I am worried sick about you and I am sick to death of your melodramatic stunts. Just come back to the house and take your time in the doghouse like a man!”

 

**

 

“That woman makes me so crazy!” Sharon snarled, closing down her voicemail and dropping her phone to the floor on top of her clothes.

 

“Shh… this is supposed to be relaxing.”

 

“Do not shush your mother.” Sharon grumbled and then groaned as her masseur pushed on a knot under her right shoulder blade.

 

“You hold a lot of tension in your shoulders.” The masseur said apologetically, “they’re just going to take a bit more work.”

 

“I think you need to use some more of that lotion…” Sharon groaned again.

 

“Don’t micromanage the masseuse because you’re mad at Brenda.”

 

“Angela, dear, we all de-stress in our own way.” Sharon closed her eyes as her masseur squeezed more lotion into his hands, rubbed them together until it was warm and started on her knots again. This time she sighed with contentment. “That feels lovely, thank you. And male masseuses are called masseurs.”

 

“I love you, too, mom.” Angela smiled at Sharon’s predictable need to correct everything.

 

After a few long, peaceful minutes passed with no sounds but the sighs of the two women and the sound of lotion and hands on flesh, Sharon’s cell phone rang again. Sharon reached out for it.

 

“Mom, I swear to god, you touch that phone and I’m going to pinch you.”

 

Sharon rolled her eyes and picked the phone up. As she was debating answering it she felt a sharp pain in her arm. “Damnit, Angela!” Sharon sat up, startling the masseur. She held the towel to her chest and scowled. “I was a lot more supportive of you when you were breaking up with Justin.”

 

“Is that what this is?” Angela sat up too. The masseurs exchanged glances of uncertainty. “Are you breaking up with Brenda?”

 

Sharon bit her lip, “I don’t know.”

 

“You’re welcome to stay with me for as long as you need to, you know.” Angela said, “and I’ll support whatever decision you make but you should make it sooner rather than later with the way she keeps blowing up your phone.”

 

“All I really know is that as long as this audit is going on I can’t live in the same house with her. Not if she’s going to keep treating me like I’m doing this to her on purpose.”

 

“You can’t recuse yourself?”

 

Sharon sighed and rubbed her eyes with her free hand. “It’s really complicated. Our boss used to be involved with Brenda and he’s single again and they’re still close so I don’t really get a lot of fair treatment from him but the major problem is that he’s interim Chief of Police so even if I wanted to complain, he’s the highest up I could go. If I try to recuse myself, I’m afraid I’ll get dismissed. He knows we’re together but he’s setting me up anyway.”

 

“That sucks… and you can’t tell Brenda all this?”

 

“I am legally prohibited from revealing to the subject of the audit the details of the request for the investigation.”

 

Angela thought about this for a moment, “but I mean, you can’t just tell her that you were ordered to do it? Like in the privacy of your own home?”

 

Sharon shook her head curtly, “I refuse to compromise my professional ethics. She should know I wouldn’t do that to her. I shouldn’t have to tell her.”

 

“Christmas isn’t going to be the same without Clay and Willie Rae.” Angela sighed.

 

“I didn’t say I’m breaking up with her.” Sharon corrected.

 

“Oh, come on, you’re telling me that you’re totally okay with the fact that she believes you would completely fuck her over like that?” Angela demanded, “because I’m not. If she doesn’t know that you love her we’re all better off without her.”

 

“But I love her so much,” Sharon admitted with a wobbling bottom lip, “no one has ever made me feel as good as she does.”

 

“Yeah, or as bad for as long as I can remember. Even dad never pushed your buttons this much and the divorce had nothing to do with distrust. If she thinks you’re enough of a bitch to do the audit completely of your own volition then you need to have a little self-respect and tell that Georgia Peach what’s what or I’m liable to do it for you.”

 

“So, uh… are you going to finish your massages?” One of the masseurs asked timidly.

 

“Thanks, but no thanks.” Angela said, making the decision for the both of them. “I think what we need is hard alcohol.”

 

**

 

Brenda arrived at the house late. She put off the paperwork until the next day – something Sharon would shame her for doing – but she needed to get home to see if Sharon was there. The house was empty and dark and Brenda’s heart sank.

 

She was still absolutely pissed but that didn’t mean she wanted Sharon to leave. It didn’t mean she stopped loving her. She wanted her in the house to ignore, not off doing lord knows what. Sharon had never reacted particularly well to any of their fights – Brenda suspected that it had something to do with her divorce – but she’d never stormed off for more than a few hours before.

 

Brenda dragged herself upstairs to the bedroom. She found that two of Sharon’s drawers had been cleaned out and she picked up a blouse from one of the still full drawers. She brought it up to her face and inhaled deeply. After the day she’d had all she wanted to do was curl up with Sharon and lose herself in the older woman’s essence but today she’d have to settle for sleeping cuddled up to a silk Armani blouse.

 

Lying down on the bed she laid her head down on the blouse. It smelled of laundry detergent and the sachet Sharon kept in all of her drawers. Brenda squeezed her eyes shut when she felt tears well up in her eyes. She’d soon soaked the blouse and cried herself into a coughing fit, not caring that she’d successfully ruined the blouse that she didn’t really have the money to replace. It was all of very little importance as long as Sharon wasn’t there with her.

 

After calming herself and starting to breathe normally again she put the phone to her ear and listened to it ring.

 

Across town the phone vibrated in Sharon’s purse, which was sitting behind the bar of the nightclub Angela had dragged Sharon to. Sharon, drink in hand, was enjoying herself on the dance floor – thanks, largely, to two large Long Island Iced Teas. Brenda Leigh Johnson be damned, Sharon was going to have fun tonight. Well into the night, in fact, and, perhaps, the next morning as well.

 

“It’s around midnight,” Brenda spoke into the receiver, her voice was slow and despondent, “I’m still mad at you… but I still love you… and… I haven’t gone an entire day without talking to you since forever and I… just call me? ….Good night.”


	3. Under Control

“When I said I wanted you to come back, I didn’t mean in this capacity.” Brenda frowned.

 

“Necessary evil.” Sharon deadpanned as she began laying the case file on the desk in front of her.

 

“Not the word I was lookin’ for but it’s a pretty good adjective for you… minus the necessary…”

 

Sharon pursed her lips but didn’t look up. “You’ll notice that I’m not taking notes.” She handed over her tape recorder. “Let’s try to keep this professional, shall we?”

 

“Never let anything get too personal.” Brenda mumbled under her breath, “always hidin’ behind your job.”

 

“Chief, you need to take this seriously.”

 

“Do you realize how often you call me Chief? Like it’s actually my name?”

 

“Please stop deflecting.” Sharon straightened the photograph of the murdered boy, distracting herself, trying to keep herself in the moment of the interview. Brenda stayed silent for a moment. Sharon cleared her throat and continued, “this is only a transparency audit, if this were an investigation I’d want your lawyer present.”

 

“I don’t need a lawyer… _Captain_.”

 

“I suggest you rethink that decision. _At any rate_ the discussion we’re having today about Turrell Baylor and the Shootin’ Newton murders and _nothing else_.”

 

“Meanin’ what?”

 

“Meaning I am not here to discuss the events of two nights ago, I am here doing my job.”

 

“Sometimes I think that’s the only thing you care about.”

 

“I’m not going to get into a discussion about it, though I will point out that that’s the worst case of pot calling the kettle black that I have ever heard.” Sharon reached across the desk, “I had Buzz provide me with a copy of Mr. Baylor’s interview. Do you mind?”

 

Brenda shrugged with annoyance. If there was one thing she hated more than arguing with Sharon, it was bureaucracy and false courtesy. She watched Sharon’s hand as she inserted the dvd and used the mouse to jump to the end.

 

She tapped the spacebar to make it play. Sharon took the opportunity to steal a few glances at the blonde; she hated fighting with Brenda. Brenda had the words from the interview imprinted in her mind, the way Turrell coolly proclaimed that he shot and murdered two completely innocent people in cold blood etched permanently in her psyche. She didn’t need to listen to it again, she knew it by heart. She spent the time watching Sharon out of the periphery and listening to the brunette’s breath as she inhaled and exhaled evenly. She was used to falling asleep to the sound and hadn’t slept very well since Sharon had stormed out.

 

Sharon tapped the bar again when the video had gone as far as she’d wanted it to. “So after this interview, where Mr. Baylor confessed to a double homicide, you returned him home.”

 

Brenda nodded, somewhat petulantly, “at his request, yes.” She pursed her lips and looked away from her Captain.

 

“And you saw several people there waiting for him.”

 

“Define several.”

 

“Did you think that they were… members of his own gang?” At the last moment Sharon had managed not to make a sarcastic comment. “The one-ten Crips?”

 

“Just because they were African American doesn’t mean they were gang members.”

 

“That’s your stance? You’re going to fight me on semantics?”

 

“I’m not fightin’ you.” Brenda scoffed, “I just think that if you’re going to have such a bee in your bonnet about every little thing you should at least try not to use vague language.”

 

“Did you know that there was a strong likelihood that after you dropped Mr. Baylor off at his home that he would be beaten to death by his fellow Crips?”

 

“I did not know that.” She bit her lip and looked at the still frame of the monster on her widescreen monitor and felt disgust well up inside her all over again. “But I do like happy endings.”

 

“And _that_ answer is exactly why we’re not recording this interview.” Sharon sneered. “If you spent less time sulking and blaming me for this audit you would realize that this is not a joke, this is not a little annoyance that will go away if you ignore it for long enough.”

 

“And you what? You wish that I had protected a child murderer? You wanted me to invite him back into the car and offer him a cup of cocoa?”

 

“Chief-”

 

“ _Brenda_.” Brenda snapped, “if you’re gonna sit there and accuse me of murder do it as Sharon, not Captain Raydor.”

 

“I think this interview is over for the time being.” Sharon started gathering her things and shoving them back in her briefcase. “Why don’t you give me a call when you decide to stop being a child and realize that the best thing you can do is to cooperate.”

 

“Is that all?” Brenda asked innocently.

 

“No, there’s one more thing: _get yourself a lawyer, Brenda_.” Sharon smirked as she sauntered out of the office.

 

“Yeah, I’m the immature one.” Brenda grumbled.

 

**

 

Sharon’s crown vic pulled up to the crime scene and Brenda got out of the car, happy to be done with the first leg of the awkwardly silent trip.

 

“Do you recognize this place?” The question was rhetorical, Sharon didn’t even look like she expected an answer. Brenda kept silent as she followed Sharon to the gate. “Turrell Baylor’s house where you delivered him unprotected the day he died.”

 

“It’s where Turrell said he wanted to go.” Brenda shrugged.

 

Sharon smirked. That horrible, irritating smirk as she continued onto the property. “That may get us out of criminal court but it may not work in your favor in front of a jury of civilians. Come with me, please.”

 

Brenda started to follow Sharon when she looked back toward the street and saw a young man riding slowly down the road on his bicycle. Brenda felt her bravado slipping away from her as she locked eyes with the man, unable to look away from him. He nodded his head at her in greeting. Had he been one of the men that were there to take revenge on Turrell? Was he nodding his thank you to Brenda for having made it so easy for them?

 

Brenda tried to shake off the unease that the man on the bike had instilled in her as she joined Sharon at the back of the house. Brenda listened to Sharon detailing the events of the murder, using the blood spots to illustrate each sentence. Blood had never bothered her before, but as she saw the evidence of her decision stained onto the concrete Brenda felt her stomach churn. Sharon’s voice faded into white noise as Brenda stood horrified and in awe of the stains where Turrell’s head had been battered against the bricks. She wondered whose the bloody handprint was. She wondered whether it was one of his attackers, covered in Turrell’s blood, or if Turrell had tried in vain to stop the momentum.

 

She looked back up at Sharon, her words once again breaking through her thoughts, “in a civil trial, the jury may very well decide that you behaved with a callous disregard to the suspect’s life and if the city attorney starts to think that he is losing this case-”

 

“He’ll settle?” Brenda asked breathlessly.

 

“He could settle and leave you to take the blame and you will be entirely on your own.” Sharon said the words slowly and with force.

 

“So, what should I do?”

 

“ _For your own sake, get yourself your own attorney_.”

 

Brenda reached up to wipe at her eyes, “I don’t want to be on my own.”

 

“That’s what the lawyer would be for.” Sharon nodded.

 

“I don’t mean that… I know you said this was about the case and nothin’ else but when do you suggest I try to talk to you if you never come home?” Brenda paused for a moment to cover her face with her hand, “I’m in trouble, Sharon, and I don’t want to be alone.”

 

Sharon stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Brenda, holding her tightly against her own body. Brenda’s hands splayed over Sharon’s shoulder blades as she buried her face in her hair. “You have to know that more than anything else _I love you_.” Sharon said softly; Brenda nodded. “I support you completely and I need you to trust me.”

 

“Are you going to come home?”

 

“I believe that as long as the transparency audit is ongoing it is in both our best interests for me to stay with Angela.”

 

Brenda squeezed Sharon, fighting back tears, “I just wish this whole mess was over.”


	4. Forgive Us Our Trespasses

“He was asking who was with you in the car when you dropped Turrell Baylor off. Was something said in the car that could make this whole thing worse?”

 

“No!” Brenda snapped, “he came in, throwin’ subpoenas around, tryin’ to get us to turn against each other. This is all about me.”

 

“It’s not just about you.” Will held up his own subpoena, “I’m in it up to my neck. The next time Mr. Goldman shows up, go into your office and lock the door and call the city attorney, which is what you should have done this morning.”

 

Brenda let out a frustrated growl. “Will, I swear, do not push my buttons right now, I am in no mood.”

 

“If everyone waited around for you to be in a good mood to talk to you you would live in silence.” Will deadpanned.

 

Brenda smirked, “I just really don’t need you lecturin’ me, is all. I’ve got a lot on my plate and on my mind.”

 

Will nodded, “and Captain Raydor moved out.”

 

“And Captain Raydor mov- what? No!” Brenda huffed. “How did you know about that?”

 

“She submitted a change of address form.” Will sat down at the table, “tough break. Though no one _really_ thought it would last.”

 

“For your information, she’s just stayin’ with her daughter until her audit is over.”

 

“There’s no need to be embarrassed, Brenda, break ups happen all the time.”

 

“Just because you’re single you want the rest of us to be single too.” Brenda rolled her eyes, “she didn’t move out… mainly because we live in her house. You’ll know we’ve broken up when _I_ submit a change of address form. Is that all? Is this interlude into my personal life over?”

 

Will and Sharon had never really seen eye to eye. At first it was because of his clear favoritism of Brenda and later it was because Sharon managed to win fair lady’s heart – much to everyone’s surprise and Will and Fritz’s chagrin.

 

The thing that annoyed her is that she still considered Will and Fritz to be good friends but they couldn’t just be happy for her. Usually, she could deal with their side remarks and nay saying because at the end of the day she went home to Sharon. Now that she hadn’t seen her in almost a week it was harder to stand there and listen to Will and insist that they were fine when she wasn’t even sure anymore.

 

“Can I go back to my case?”

 

“Yes, go.” Will waved her off nonchalantly.

 

As if he didn’t know what he was doing, Brenda thought with a scoff.

 

**

 

Brenda sat at the table finishing the last of her sticky bun. Sharon had returned to the house again – Brenda wasn’t sure when – but she had returned and she had stuck a business card up on the fridge with her ‘is there life before coffee?’ magnet.

 

Brenda wasn’t exactly sure how long the card had been there because she’d been getting take-out most nights. Even when she wasn’t there, Sharon was still taking care of her.

 

When they had first come out as a couple they had both had to swear that their personal relationship wouldn’t affect their work. Brenda was kicking herself over ever coming out – not because she was ashamed or regretful – because maybe if Sharon hadn’t sworn, maybe she’d still be at home right now. She could recuse herself from the case without being reprimanded for letting her personal feelings get in the way of her job.

 

Brenda stood from the table and plucked the card from the fridge. There was a thud and a crash and Brenda whipped around to see Joel on the table, lapping at the spilled coffee.

 

“Kitty! –I mean _Joel_!—” she picked him up from the table and deposited him on the floor, “I can’t turn my back on you for a second. I don’t have time to clean this up.” She frowned.

 

She deposited the orange striped cat on the floor and grabbed a handful of dish towels to throw over the spilled coffee. She could almost hear Sharon’s teasing words, “your cat is almost as badly behaved as you are.” Sharon would have wrapped her arms around her and kissed her and told her she’d clean the coffee up, as long as it meant that Brenda wouldn’t ruin another set of her dish towels.

 

Brenda made a mental note to pick up a new set of dish towels on the way home. She looked down at Joel, he had managed to find the spot where the coffee dripped down from the table and lapped at the puddle it made.

 

**

 

“This one guy, he takes about thirty toasted almonds and lines then up and then he-”

 

“Can we _just_ … focus?!” Brenda snapped. Six weeks and counting since she’d had sex and the last thing she needed was Miss Sindy Showers going on about sex. Granted, very strange sex, but at this point the mere mention of sex had visions of Sharon naked and strategically covered in chocolate dancing through her head.

 

Oh, dear Lord, there were those images again. She was supposed to be concentrating on getting to the bottom of the murder of the cross-dressing clergyman and all she could think about was bending Sharon over their kitchen table and-

 

“Chief?”

 

“What?” Brenda demanded, a blush creeping over her features.

 

“Are you alright, Chief?” Gabriel asked, “you look a little…”

 

“Detective Gabriel, I think we’ve heard all we need to from Miss Showers, hm?” Brenda started digging through her bag. “Why don’t you show her out?”

 

Sindy stood, “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

 

Brenda scoffed, “you did not embarrass me.” Sindy lingered for a moment while Brenda refused to make eye contact as she rifled through the contents of her purse. “Where is my cell phone?!”

 

“This way, please, ma’am.” Gabriel motioned to the door, though his look of concern was directed toward his master in command.

 

The door closed behind Gabriel and Sindy Showers and Brenda finally found her phone. Victorious, she hit the speed dial button for Sharon and reached her voicemail. “You remember a couple o’ years ago they were talkin’ about incentivizin’ the lapd so cases’d get closed faster? Well, I’ve got one for you. Finish up this stupid investigation and I’m going to cover you in honey and _devour_ you… _inch… by… inch_.”

 

**

 

“I don’t deal much in forgiveness, Corporal, but I sure am sorry to have to arrest you for murder in the first degree.” Brenda retrieved the set of cuffs from her purse and Chris Wycoff stood stoically waiting the cuffing.

 

Brenda began mechanically reciting his Miranda rights but her mind was far from what she was doing. You can’t pick your parents… she was fortunate that Clay and Willie Ray had always been supportive of her. When she first came out to them as bisexual they certainly didn’t understand it but they tried their damnedest to be supportive. So much so that they went a little too far in the other direction a couple of times but they had never made her feel bad or any less loved or like there was anything wrong with her despite their and her religious beliefs.

 

Hate was so wasteful. Fear and hate and judgment, it was all so wasteful. This young man, barely old enough to drink, was going to go to prison and everything could have turned out differently if his father had only supported him.

 

Of course, it was always easier to look at others’ mistakes. That was probably why became a cop, it was always easier to justify her life choices based off of other people’s mistakes. Some mistakes were justifiable, maybe his attorney could get it down to manslaughter.

 

She desperately wanted to call Sharon again, even just to hear her voice on the voicemail, but she decided to restrain herself. She’d left enough messages already. If Sharon was going to call her she’d call, one more teary message wouldn’t make a difference.

 

Maybe Sharon had moved out… Brenda hadn’t wanted to consider the possibility but now, as she handed off Corporal Wycoff to Gabriel, she couldn’t help but wonder if Sharon had abandoned her. Had she finally pushed Sharon to her breaking point? Had Sharon had enough of her? Fritz and Will wanted to know if she’d wised up and dumped Sharon but the truth was that Sharon was probably too good for her. Fritz had been too good for her, too. Will… well, he was another story, but she had come to realize that theirs wasn’t a forever love.

 

Sharon was different. Sharon was always different. Was it too late? Had she lost her already?

 

Brenda steeled herself and stepped out into the murder room. “Hey, how did you get back in here?” She demanded when she saw Goldman.

 

“Just making a delivery.” He opened his folder and pulled out a final sheet of paper, “David Gabriel.”

 

“Right here,” he beckoned.

 

“Congratulations, Detective Gabriel,” Goldman handed over the subpoena.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Don’t thank me, thank Chief Johnson.” Goldman turned to look Brenda in the eyes. “She’s the one who got you into this.”

 

Brenda kept her eyes on the slimy attorney as he walked out of the squad room. She was already sick to death of him. She couldn’t imagine how _that_ puny man was turning her entire world upside down. She had expected Mrs. Baylor’s attorney to be tall and handsome and at least _look_ the part of a worthy opponent.

 

As soon as he was out of sight and escorted by a uniform, Brenda turned and walked back into her office. She shut the door and locked it. Moving to her desk, she opened her candy drawer. She needed the big guns, she needed a ho-ho.

 

Through the window she saw her squad welcoming David Gabriel back into the bosom of their good graces. She wished that she felt as jubilant as everyone else but she just felt sick. It was all her fault. Her team would stand up for no matter what; they were too good for her too.

 

**

 

Back at the house she opened a new box of ho-hos and opened a bottle of Merlot. Sitting at the table, wallowing, she polished off most of the ho-hos and half of the bottle of wine. She was hoping to steel her nerves enough to call Sharon again. Maybe if she was drunk she wouldn’t cry.

 

A knock resounded through the kitchen. “It’s open probably.” Brenda called out.

 

The door opened and Fritz walked in, setting a bag of take-out on the counter. “You shouldn’t leave your door unlocked.” Brenda took another sip of wine and shrugged noncommittally. “Your squad told me you went home early, had to see it with my own eyes.”

 

Brenda rubbed her eyes then ran her hand through her hair. “Case was over. Didn’t feel like being there.” Tears threatened to fall but she held them back as she took another sip of her wine. “Baylor’s  attorney came back and subpoenaed Detective Gabriel today so that officially puts my entire division in hot water because of a decision made by me and me alone. _And_ I forgot to pick up new dishtowels… I’m wonderin' about, now… how much worse can things get?”

 

“A little worse maybe,” Fritz produced a subpoena. “The city, the LAPD, Pope, you,  your team, me… just about everyone except Captain Raydor.”

 

The small jab at Sharon registered somewhere in Brenda’s mind but she ignored it tonight. “You too? Why?”

 

“Remember when Turrell first presented himself? I volunteered to provide protective custody.”

 

“Oh, Fritz… I’m so sorry… I’ve gotten everyone into this huge mess… and I’ve probably lost Sharon over it too because even though she’s not being subpoenaed she’s doin’ that damn audit and she’s been stayin’ with her daughter and I just… what if she never comes back? What if-” The glass clattered on the wood table as Brenda’s unsteady hands knocked it over. “Oh lord!”

 

“I’ll clean that up,” Fritz stood and moved to grab a handful of paper towels from the kitchen.

 

Brenda looked down at the paper and the words “intent to kill him” jumped off the page at her. She stared down at them, mesmerized by the accusing words. The mental images of the crime scene appeared in her mind’s eye, seeing in vivid detail the stains on the concrete where Turrell Baylor’s head was smashed into the wall. She would fight tooth and nail to put herself behind bars if it were anyone else… Though she may never admit it out loud, she certainly knew that he wouldn’t be safe, she had acted with a callous disregard for Turrell’s life. At the time she had thought that his life wasn’t worth the air he breathed, he’d murdered an old man and a child in cold blood, he’d barely batted an eyelash that his brother was killed in his stead. Turrell Baylor was a miserable human being; it wasn’t right that Turrell should live when good people had died at his hand and because of his actions. She never considered that he would have such a horrific and terrifying death.

 

What would it feel like to have your head smashed into a wall? At what point did he die? She found herself, for the first time, hoping that it was quick and that he hadn’t suffered. She had acted recklessly and, for the first time, wasn’t sure anymore if she’d do the same thing if she had it to do over again.

 

 _Intent to kill him_ , the words echoed through her head. _Intent to kill him_. Until finally she broke down into tears. Fritz rushed to pull her into his arms. “What have I done?” She sobbed, “what have I done? What have I done?”


	5. Home Improvement

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” Sharon asked pointedly, walking into her daughter’s kitchen fully dressed in a smart pin-striped pant suit. She grabbed the pot of coffee off of the percolator and poured herself a travel mug’s worth.

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be treating me like an adult?” Angela batted her eyelashes at her mother.

 

Sharon leant down and kissed the top of her daughter’s head. “Good morning, Angel.”

 

“Morning, ma.” Angela smiled and stretched out, her feet still clad snugly in the slippers Clay and Willie Ray had given her for Christmas. “I have a deposition at nine so I’m going straight from here.”

 

“Did you talk to Gavin? Has Brenda called him?”

 

Angela shrugged, “I don’t know. I don’t go around all day talking about your negligent girlfriend.”

 

“Be nice.” Sharon frowned.

 

“Why? Because she’s being so nice to you?”

 

“Because our relationship is none of your business and she’s never done anything wrong to you.” Sharon sipped her coffee.

 

“Look… you’re my hero, you know that, right? You’re the strongest, most ethical, purest hearted person I know and I hope I’m half as awesome as you are but… _sometimes_ … in relationships you…” Angela paused to consider her phrasing carefully, “you put yourself second. You let yourself get walked all over and I just feel like you need to be reminded that you matter, too.”

 

“I appreciate your concern, but you don’t have to worry about me. I’m a big girl and I’m fully capable of fighting my own battles.” Sharon glanced at the clock, “I have to go to work.”

 

“We’ll talk about this later?”

 

“ _Maybe._ ”

 

**

 

“Hey Gavin, hold on,” Angela called from her office.

 

Gavin leaned against her office doorframe. “Did Brenda Leigh Johnson call you yet?”

 

“Yes, I have an appointment with her in half an hour. Why?”

 

“I wasn’t going to tell you how I know her… but I’m going to level with you… she’s my mother’s partner and her defense means _a lot_ to my mother so I just want you to know how important this is.” Angela sat forward in her chair, “so I’d like to sit in on the meeting.”

 

“If she’s your mother’s partner why isn’t she mentioned in the suit?” He asked with furrowed brow, sipping from his coffee mug.

 

Angela cocked her head to the side in confusion for a moment before it dawned on her. “No, no, no. Not _LAPD_ partner, _partner_ partner…” she watched his face for a moment before elaborating again, “lovers?”

 

“Oh man.” Gavin scoffed, “your mother just went from, like, a perfect ten to a ten to the power of ten.”

 

Angela rolled her eyes, “I should never have told you that. What was I thinking…?”

 

“ _Oh man_ …” Gavin grinned, “is your mother going to come with her to this meeting?”

 

“No, she’s disallowed from the office because last time she was here she alphabetized my filing cabinet.”

 

“You don’t alphabetize your filing cabinet?”

 

“I have a system! I don’t have to explain myself to you or my mother.” Angela grumbled.

 

“So, do you need to take a look at the case file?” Gavin offered it up to her but Angela shook her head.

 

“Trust me, I’ve heard _all_ about it.”

 

“Okay, meeting’s in my office in,” he looked at his watch, “twenty minutes.”

 

**

 

Brenda was surprised to see Angela sitting in the office when she entered. Angela was stunned to see a man follow Brenda in. Fritz shook hands with Gavin, oblivious to the looks of apprehension that passed between the two women.

 

Brenda sat down and avoided looking at Angela. Fritz had spent the night with her and, though it was purely platonic, she couldn’t look at Sharon’s mini-me without feeling some amount of shame and guilt.

 

“Agent Howard is also listed on the lawsuit so he asked if he could sit in on the meeting.” Brenda said as she sat down on the couch, eyes trained on Gavin.

 

Angela sat back in her chair, arms folded across her chest, lips pursed. She was not pleased with Fritz’s presence; she knew their history. While Gavin talked and Brenda deflected, Angela found herself trying not to glare at Brenda and Fritz.

 

“My retainer is $25,000.” Gavin announced. Angela was drawn back into the conversation, the mention of money tended to do that.

 

Brenda guffawed, “ _twenty_ … five… _thousand… dollars?_ ”

 

“Or we could work out some sort of barter system…” Gavin suggested, trying to sound nonchalant.

 

Angela stared at him in disbelief and smacked him in the shoulder. This action startled everyone and turned all gazes to Angela. “Brenda, $25,000 is the firm’s standard retainer fee for unnamed partners.”

 

“What do you cost?”

 

“Well, I cost less because I’m not a partner but I do property law.”

 

“Ms. Johnson, I assure you that my background as a former city attorney qualifies me head and shoulders above my esteemed colleagues to handle your case.” Gavin tried to assuage her.

 

“I… I will _think_ about it.” She stood and snatched up the bottle of water from the coffee table. “Fritz, are you coming?”

 

Gavin and Angela watched the two retreat. After the door clicked shut behind them Gavin said, innocently, “you know, 80% of couples don’t survive litigation regardless of the outcome. It’s very straining on a relationship… If your mother ever wants someone to talk to… a shoulder to cry on…”

 

He turned to catch Angela’s glare. “I don’t know what it is with you and your obscene love for my mother but… just forget it. Go get yourself a copy of National Geographic, make a list of all of the places you will never go and add to the bottom of that list _Sharon Raydor_.”

 

“You know you’re kind of sexy when you’re snarky.” Gavin grinned.

 

“ _And Angela Raydor_.” She added as she excused herself from the office.

 

Gavin laughed and opened himself a bottle of water. He did enjoy pushing Angela’s buttons, he considered her a good friend and the fact that she had a hot mom? That was just icing on the cake.

 

**

 

“Fritz, I think you should get your own lawyer… or, at least, come at different times.”

 

“You’re gonna tackle the $25,000 fee? Do you even need him? What’s wrong with the city attorney?”

 

Brenda groaned and rubbed her eyes with frustration and indecision. “Captain Raydor said I should get my own attorney.”

 

“Yeah, well, sometimes I wonder if Sharon Raydor lives in the same world as the rest of us.” Fritz scoffed, “shelling out 25K is really right for you? Are you sure she has your best interests at heart?”

 

“Stop it! Just stop it! Lord in heaven, you and Will are like vultures sometimes!” Brenda snapped, stepping into the elevator. “I have enough doubts of my own about this whole mess without y’all jumping all over Sharon at every possible turn.”

 

“All I’m saying is that if this all goes to hell you’re the only one who’s going to be up shit creek. Well, you, me and the rest of your team, but not _Raydor_. How can she be the one who knows what’s right?”

 

Brenda rubbed her temple and started pressing the lobby button repeatedly until the doors closed and left Fritz behind. “Oh Lord…”

 

**

 

Brenda just dropped the linguine noodles into the boiling water and secured the lid when the door opened. She blinked in surprise and broke out into a grin. “Sharon, you’re here!” She pulled off her apron and approached, but stopped short. “Or I’ve finally snapped and I’m having a really vivid hallucination…”

 

Sharon laughed, “oh, come here,” she pulled Brenda into her arms.

 

Brenda smiled contentedly and laid her head against Sharon’s. She let her eyes slip shut and inhaled deeply, the sweet scents of Sharon flooding her senses. “I’m so glad you’re here.” She murmured against the older woman’s lips.

 

“I miss you so much,” Sharon whispered, her fingertips coming up to gently trace Brenda’s cheekbones. “It is so hard trying to stay away…”

 

“Everyone’s trying to tell me that you left me,” Brenda admitted, feeling her eyes fill with tears.

 

Sharon pulled back and looked at Brenda with sympathy. “And by ‘everyone’ I assume you mean Chief Pope and Agent Howard?” Brenda nodded a little, Sharon smiled, “not my biggest fans, are they?”

 

Brenda laughed and shook her head, “not really.” Brenda slipped her hands into Sharon’s hair, relishing the feeling of the luxurious locks against her fingers. “I love you so much, it’s so hard to stay away from you… but I’ve been very good.”

 

“You’re a better man than I, Johnson,” Sharon’s hands slipped down to Brenda’s ass and dragged their hips together. Brenda moaned and let her head fall back, Sharon’s lips descended on the creamy expanse of neck that Brenda just exposed to her.

 

Brenda gripped fistfuls of Sharon’s hair, “oh god, I think I’m just gonna come…”

 

“You’re a cheap date,” Sharon purred, tightening her grip on the blonde’s ass and grinding against her. Brenda whimpered. Sharon pulled up on Brenda’s skirt and pushed her thigh between Brenda’s legs. Brenda wrapped her arm around Sharon, holding her in a vice like grip.

 

“God, you’re on fire…” Sharon husked in Brenda’s ear, rocking against her center with deliberately slow ministrations of her thigh.

 

Brenda shamelessly rocked her hips against Sharon’s leg. If she hadn’t wanted to get her slacks all wet she shouldn’t have started pushing her thigh so deliciously into her most sensitive spot…

 

Sharon nibbled the shell of Brenda’s ear, “are you going to come for me?” She whispered seductively.

 

“Oh, Sharon… god… _yes_ …” Brenda gasped. She fisted Sharon’s blazer as she felt her muscles starting to clench. “God, don’t stop…” She buried her face in the nape of Sharon’s neck, squeezing her eyes shut and moaning as she ground against Sharon’s leg. Finally she cried out as her orgasm rocked into her.

 

Brenda’s legs turned to jello as the waves of pleasure crashed over her. Sharon maneuvered them over to the kitchen table and sat Brenda down in the nearest chair. When Brenda regained her composure enough to open her eyes she saw Sharon sinking to her knees in front of her. “Oh, Sharon…”

 

Sharon grinned up at Brenda, her eyes were darkened with lust and she pulled Brenda’s ass closer to the edge of the chair. Brenda’s cell phone started to ring and she yelped out her frustration.

 

“Do you need to get that?” Sharon quirked an eyebrow at her, placing light kisses to Brenda’s knee.

 

Brenda felt her whole body quiver. “No… well… yes… oh, for heaven’s sake!” Brenda cried and put the phone to her ear. “Yes? What is it?”

 

“The contractor was telling the truth, Chief, he never applied for a permit for anything at the King place.” Sanchez explained.

 

Sharon’s fingers tickled the underside of Brenda’s knee. She bit back a giggle snort and yanked her knee away from Sharon, managing to slam it into the underside of the table. “Hang on just a minute, Detective.” Brenda said in a tight voice. She laid the phone against her chest and bit her lip in pain. “You see what you do to me?” She hissed at Sharon.

 

Sharon was biting back a laugh, trying her damnedest to look apologetic.

 

“Uh, Chief?” Sanchez questioned.

 

Brenda put the phone back to her ear, “yes, sorry… I-I’m here. Look, if the contractor never pulled a permit for the retaining wall, how did the inspector know to come by and have it dug up?” Brenda asked, amazed at her ability to string that sentence together in light of recent events. “Mr. Romano said something about a complaint, didn’t he?”

 

The lid from the pot clanged to the floor and boiling linguine erupted from the water. “Oh no! No, no, no!” Brenda cried and leapt up from the table.

 

“Chief… are you okay?”

 

“Oh… I’m fine… I’m fine…”

 

“Do you want us to find the city inspector for you?”

 

“Oh, yes, please.” Brenda whimpered as she attempted to sponge noodles from the wall. She ended the conversation with Sanchez and dropped her phone to the counter.

 

“This is why I don’t let you cook without supervision.” Sharon pressed herself against Brenda’s back and reached up to take the sponge away from her. “This is a dish sponge… and the noodles can be dealt with tomorrow…”

 

“Dear god, I’m so glad you’re here,” Brenda purred as Sharon drew her into her arms again.

 

**

 

Sharon let herself into Angela’s back door quietly at six the next morning. As she was easing the door back into jam she heard a throat clear behind her. She turned slowly to see Angela sitting at the kitchen table and she had a flashback to catching Angela sneaking in after breaking curfew during high school.

 

“And where were you all night?”

 

Sharon laughed, “Angie, I’m _59_ , I think I’m past the point of explaining myself.”

 

“You’re living in my house, mom! You didn’t call, you didn’t answer your phone, you didn’t come home, I was worried sick!”

 

“I’m sorry about that.” Sharon acquiesced, “I didn’t see that you called until late and I didn’t want to wake you.”

 

“Where did you sleep?”

 

Sharon bit her lip.

 

“That look either means you made a bad decision, like cheating on Brenda, and you feel guilty. Or you made a really bad decision by sleeping with Brenda while you still have an open investigation against her and you feel guilty because you know I’m going to give you a hard time about it.”

 

“First of all, darling, it’s not an ‘investigation,’ it’s a _transparency audit_ …”

 

“The two of you are both completely transparent. You’re a 59-year-old woman and you’re sneaking around and getting in at all hours.”

 

“You’re always yelling at me for micromanaging you-”

 

“Look, all I’m saying is that if the prosecuting attorney gets wind of the fact that you slept together before you submitted your report your findings will be suspect. You don’t have to be a lawyer to know that what you did was pretty monumentally stupid. What happened to your principles?”

 

“If I know me at all, there’s a getting laid clause in my principles.”

 

“I’m glad you think this is funny.”

 

“Angel,” Sharon started in a soft, mothering tone, sitting at the table with her. “I filed my official change of address with my boss for the duration of the audit, I haven’t returned any of her phone calls any times other than during normal business hours. I have done everything completely by the book. Is it such a crime that I wanted to spend the night with the woman I love?”

 

“I don’t know. All I can say is that I hope your inability to keep it in your pants doesn’t get Brenda sent to prison.” Angela punctuated her point with eyes narrowed and getting up and walking out.

 

Sharon pursed her lips and sneered at Angela’s back. 


	6. A Family Affair

The smell of hot iron burned in Brenda’s nose. David was up already as she struggled to stand, feeling more than a little like she’d just gone through the spin cycle in the washing machine. The rest of it happened so quickly: Sanchez fired, Provenza fired, the fish tank smashed and the bad guys lay slain.

 

Drew Gibson, multiple gunshot wounds to the torso and all, was slumped against the bookshelf gasping his last miserable breaths.

 

Brenda dropped to her knees in front of him and grabbed him forcibly by the lapels. “ _Do you know Sedona Gibson? Do you know Sedona Gibson?_ ”

 

Drew Gibson sputtered and managed to spit a clot of blood into Brenda’s face. She snarled and shook him again. “Do you know Sedona Gibson?”

 

“She was a whore.” Gibson snickered and Brenda let him drop, shoving him back into position, let the miserable wretch bleed out. She wasn’t concerned about him in the slightest and didn’t feel bad about it at all.

 

“I feel terrible about the fish,” Provenza muttered as he started to look through the room, “I’ll cry about it later.”

 

“We have to find something, anything that’ll tie Drew Gibson to Sedona’s murder before the vultures from FID take the crime scene.” Brenda declared, not missing a beat as she pulled the sofa cushions off.

 

“White heroin, Chief.”  Sanchez held up a bag of white powder.

 

“Now if we could just find a syringe…”

 

“Ma’am?” An officer cleared his throat from the doorway. Brenda looked up and she knew that her time was up.

 

“That was fast. Y’all just trailin’ behind me now?” She huffed, pushing past him. She walked out the door and down the steps and straight down the path where a uniform lifted the tape for her. She walked right over to Provenza’s car and stood there.

 

She wasn’t sure how long she stood there watching the house in a stunned sort of disbelief. Her legs and arms ached from their impact with the floor and she’d done her best to wipe off the blood but she could feel it drying on her skin and clothing.

 

Sharon strode up to her. Of course she’d show up to this party. Brenda was on a very short leash.

 

“Why aren’t you downtown? Your interview with FID takes place right away.”

 

Brenda felt her heart break a little. Sharon was the epitome of professionalism and refused to ever let her personal feelings leak into any aspect of her work but she couldn’t at least ask her how she was? The first thing out of the woman’s mouth was lip about not running down to headquarters like some obedient little puppy dog. She immediately felt like crying but wouldn’t give Sharon the satisfaction. Brenda could go the professional route too but damned if the woman thought she could just show up for another booty call anytime soon.

 

“I never discharged my weapon.”

 

“Good.” Sharon couldn’t help the small smile, “at least you won’t be the subject of another lawsuit.”

 

“Day’s not over.” Brenda muttered. “Look, _Captain_ , I just have to get back in there and find something to link Drew Gibson to my murder victim.”

 

“You know the drill, the crime scene is mine for 48 hours.”

 

“I don’t think I can wait that long.”

 

Sharon cocked her head to the side for a moment, “how badly do you want the evidence?”

 

Brenda’s mouth fell open as she turned to Sharon again. “What are you saying?”

 

“If I were to find the evidence that you’re looking for and get it to you before the 48 hours is up will you tell Detective Sanchez to talk to me?”

 

“You’re blackmailing me?”

 

“You have the idea, yes.”

 

Of all the insensitive things! Sharon’s suggestion rubbed Brenda wrong in so many ways. She scoffed, “get the evidence and we’ll talk.” She frowned and pushed herself off the car. She needed to change and she needed to walk away before she was sanctioned for slugging the head of FID at her own crime scene.

 

Sharon locked eyes with a uniform and motioned to Brenda, “would you take her downtown?”

 

“Yes, Captain.” He nodded.

 

“I’m not an invalid, Sharon.” Brenda snapped with annoyance.

 

“For heaven’s sake, Brenda, you were nearly shot. Please, humor me and take the escort.”

 

“Why, Captain, I didn’t know you cared.”

 

Sharon watched Brenda climb into the passenger’s without so much of a backwards glance. Sharon watched the patrol car pull away from the scene, _I love you_ on the tip of her tongue. Once the car had faded into the distance Sharon let out a breath, Brenda was safe, she was away from the guns and the drugs and Sharon could breathe again.

 

About midway through the drive back to hq her cell phone vibrated. She looked down at the phone to see that it had actually rung several times. She put the phone to her ear.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Oh, thank god you’re alright!” Fritz said as soon as she’d answered. “I was afraid when you didn’t answer your phone that something was wrong.”

 

Brenda rubbed her eyes. “No… well, I didn’t get shot anyway…”

 

“If there’s anything I can do for you, just name it.”

 

“Actually…” Brenda sighed, “if it’s convenient… could you swing by my house and grab me a dress? I’m kind of covered in blood.”

 

“Sure, of course.”

 

“Thank you, Fritzy.” Brenda smiled, “there’s a hide-a-key underneath the third stepping stone. Thank you.” She dropped the phone back into her purse and she leaned back with some amount of defeat.

 

The uniform glanced over at her. “Are you alright, ma’am?”

 

“You know, whoever said women were more sensitive than men never met _my_ girlfriend.” Brenda grumbled and started rooting around in her purse for anything chocolate and-or sugary. She’d probably have settled for licking the tinfoil wrapping of a ho-ho.

 

The officer had the good sense to remain quiet for the rest of the ride, made long and annoying by rush hour and an accident on the freeway.

 

Back at the LAPD Brenda indulged in a shower in the locker room. She let the water cascade over her body and tried her damnedest not to start crying. She wouldn’t cry here, no one needed any extra reasons to doubt her validity as an officer.

 

By the time she stepped off of the elevator onto her floor Fritz was waiting there. He embraced her as she stumbled and she accepted the hug gratefully. “I hope I brought the right dress.”

 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

 

Sharon emerged into the hallway and stopped short upon seeing Brenda and Fritz. The hug sent a surge of jealousy through her and she turned away, waiting for them to finish. Brenda caught sight of Sharon over Fritz’s shoulder. She let go of Fritz and thanked him for the dress.

 

He gave her shoulder a squeeze, “you should get out of here and get some sleep soon.”

 

Brenda waved him off. Sharon approached as soon as Fritz was gone. She held up the two evidence bags. “A syringe and a box of Ambien.” Sharon held them up. Brenda went to grab them and Sharon pulled them back, “where did Agent Howard get that dress?”

 

“He swung by the house for me.” Brenda scowled.

 

“He swung by whose house? _My_ house?”

 

“ _Our_ house.” Brenda smirked and grabbed the evidence out of Sharon’s hand.

 

“As we agreed?”

 

Brenda took a deep breath to calm herself down. “He’s still finishin’ up his FID interview.”

 

“Please tell him I will be waiting in the conference room.” Sharon turned on her heel and clicked down the hallway.

 

“Oh, that woman…” Brenda muttered as she stalked off to the bathroom to change.

 

The day that had gone from bad to worse to terrible in a matter of six hours didn’t show any signs of picking up from the nose dive that it was in at nine that night. Suddenly she was caught between a rock and a hard place: trying to decide between being with a crying woman and having to go face-to-face with her unfeeling girlfriend. She’d never been good with crying women and she supposed she’d have to bite the bullet eventually.

 

Brenda strode into her office, shut the blinds and took a seat at her desk, “Captain, this really isn’t a good time.”

 

Sharon stood and walked over to Brenda’s slouched form and pulled open the desk drawer to reveal the treasure trove of sweets therein. She reached in and extracted a package of devil dogs and held it up to her.

 

Brenda accepted it begrudgingly and slid the drawer closed.

 

“Okay,” Sharon began in a low, husked tone that was usually only reserved for when she was in the mood. Brenda assumed it was some sort of ‘too little, too late’ mollifying gesture. “When you dropped Turrell Baylor off at his house and before you drove away… Detective Gabriel said something to you and it was important because Detective Sanchez refuses to repeat it. The Baylor family attorney knows about this conversation and _I still don’t_.”

 

Brenda dropped the devil dogs into the trash in frustration; Sharon didn’t even bat an eyelash. Brenda rocked slightly in her office chair, listening to the minute squeaks as it moved on its spring. She chewed a fingernail nervously. Finally, unable to meet Sharon’s gaze, Brenda admitted, “after I let Turrell go… and before we drove away… Detective Gabriel asked me if I thought we should stick around…”

 

Sharon nodded. The full weight of the shit that Brenda was finally beginning to become clear to her. She straightened, “I see. You told him to go.”

 

The look of veiled disgust on Sharon’s face was overshadowed by Sanchez’s words still echoing through her mind. She lifted her gaze to Sharon’s and nodded once. “I did.”

 

Sharon looked away for a moment. She looked through the blinds at Brenda’s team and then looked back at the blonde. “That’s the lawsuit, isn’t it? Detective Gabriel asked you the twenty-million dollar question but the thing is… how does the _plaintiff’s_ attorney know how you answered it?”

 

Brenda studied her for a moment, not wanting to believe the only conclusion that could be drawn. “What are you thinkin’?”

 

“Somewhere in your division, you have a leak.”

 

Brenda considered this for a moment, looking through the window at her squad milling about. Surely no one in her squad would have leaked the information. They all trusted her enough to come to her if they had a problem with her conduct… didn’t they?

 

Brenda sighed and selected something else from her candy drawer.

 

“Captain,” she said, mouth full of Twix. “Would you close the blinds for me for a minute?”

 

Sharon pursed her lips a little but acquiesced to the request.

 

“ _I’m_ fine, by the way, in case you care.”

 

Sharon turned, “what do you mean?”

 

“You know… that little thing earlier where I nearly got shot but by some miracle survived the whole ordeal? I’m fine, don’t worry about me.”

 

“I’m always going to worry about you.”

 

“Funny way of showin’ it…” Brenda mumbled.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sharon scowled.

 

“What I _mean_ is you showed up on the scene, didn’t even ask me how I was, didn’t smile at me a little bit. You just blackmailed me.” Brenda spat, “that was insult to injury, Sharon.”

 

“I can’t very well just walk up to you at a crime scene and pull you into my arms! We have professional standards to uphold. Not to mention the fact that I’m currently conducting a transparency audit of you and your entire squad.”

 

“Certainly didn’t stop you from fucking me in the kitchen the other night. You were not even _attempting_ to hold up ‘professional standards’ that night, you were trying very hard to get me on my back.”

 

“I’ve never had to try very _hard_.” Sharon scoffed. “It’s kind of your default...”

 

Brenda’s mouth fell open, “I can _not_ believe you just said that!”

 

“If the shoe fits.” Sharon shrugged.

 

“You know what drives me crazy?” Brenda fumed, “we wouldn’t even be having this argument if you had just _asked me how I was_. For heaven’s sake, a text with one of those little frowning emoticons would have made me feel better!”

 

“And if anyone questions the objectiveness of my audit and subpoenas my phone records, I can promise you that all calls and texts from me to you since the onset of this audit have been during normal working hours and have remained professional.”

 

“To hell with being professional!” Brenda snapped. “I was almost shot! I wanted a hug!”

 

“That is so short-sighted of you. My god, if it were up to you you’d be with the city attorney, there would be sexts from me on your phone – because it is completely beyond you to delete them when done – and we’d be all over each other at the office. You know where all that would get you? It could get you into prison. Is that what you want?”

 

“One hug? One frowning emoticon? Climb down off your cross, Sharon!”

 

“I just want to be careful because I don’t want to lose you! I don’t want you to go to prison! Is that wholly unreasonable?”

 

Brenda huffed, crossing her arms defiantly and giving a small shake of her head, “no, it’s not, except that you’ve already lost me.”

 

Sharon faltered and furrowed her brow. “What… what?”

 

“I mean, I’m done. I’m sick of this argument ‘you’re-too-professional-I’m-too-unprofessional.’ I almost died today. When I needed someone you weren’t there.”

 

“Brenda…” Sharon started slowly, “when I heard about what happened I couldn’t breathe, all I could think was how I nearly lost the most important person in my life. I love you.”

 

Brenda held up her hands in defeat and shook her head, “I need someone who can show concern for me, not just feel it.”

 

“That’s fine – because I need someone who can trust me a lot more than you do.” Sharon pursed her lips, knowing she was on the verge of tears. “I want you out of my house.”

 

“My things will be out by the end of the day tomorrow.” Brenda said coldly, looking down at the blotter on her desk.

 

Without another word, Sharon turned and walked out of the office, shutting the door behind her. She took quick, deliberate strides as she left, ignoring the gazes of Major Crimes. Their concern did not faze her; she was not one of them, she was no longer romantically linked to their Chief and, God help them, they better fear her.


	7. Death Warrant

Sharon dropped her suitcase on the floor in the living room and stood surveying with her hands on her hips. Angela came in behind her with the laundry basket of clean clothing. She stood silently for a moment and looked over at her mother.

 

“Want to talk about it?”

 

“No, I do not.”

 

“Want me to do a walkthrough? Make sure there aren’t any trigger items left lying around?” Angela offered, “like pictures or empty Merlot bottles in the recycling?”

 

“I’m not fragile, I’m not going to fall apart.”

 

“That’s… kind of what has me worried, actually.” Angela admitted. “Your six year relationship just ended, a relationship which you yourself had professed not wanting to end.”

 

“You know, I didn’t want to end it… and when Brenda told me it was over I was devastated… but then I realized that I have never personally ended any relationship. She did not break up with me, she set me _free_. She could have walked all over me forever and I would never have broken up with her. She did me the biggest favor she could have, honestly, Angela, I’m fine.”

 

“You love her.”

 

“I do love her.” Sharon nodded. “But if she went through what she went through last week and she didn’t _know_ that all of my love, thoughts and prayers were entirely on her then… then I need to be with someone who understands me better and she needs someone who’s going to fawn.”

 

“That’s true, you don’t fawn.” Angela agreed. “The problem is that you’re a SoCal genteel and she’s a honey-voiced Georgia peach from No-Boundariesville, Deep South America.”

 

Sharon let out a peal of laughter, “Angel, don’t be _mean_.” Sharon’s phone vibrated in her pocket and, without looking at the id, put it to her ear, “Captain Raydor.”

 

“Sharon- Captain, sorry, I know it’s kind of early and I know this is really terrible timing and all… but I need a favor.”

 

Sharon listened to the details of Brenda’s favor and nodded, “of course, Chief Johnson, I’ll see you in about twenty minutes.”

 

“Oooh, no she did not just call and ask you for a favor!”

 

“She’s a superior officer and as a member of the LAPD, which is designed in a ranking system, I am obliged to follow orders from higher ranking officers.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, mama bear, you can talk in all those big fancy words but what it’s really coming down to is she said jump and you asked ‘how high?’” Angela tsked as Sharon gathered up her purse and keys and prepared to head out.

 

“Thank you for helping me with the last of my things,” she leaned over and kissed Angela’s cheek. “I will _not_ see you when I get home because I don’t live with you anymore. You can let yourself out, right?”

 

“ _Mom_ ,” Angela snapped, “all I’m saying is that you did Dad’s laundry _for two months_ after your divorce.”

 

Sharon turned to look at her daughter, “you remember things in a way that make me look weak. I continued to do his laundry because he was repairing my car and didn’t charge me an arm and a leg for the work. I definitely got the better end of the deal, the repairs and modifications he made had a value of close to $6,000.”

 

“You traded that car in.”

 

“Traded your father in, too.” Sharon winked. “It’s a woman’s prerogative, my dear, thought I taught you that.”

 

“Go. Just go.” Angela sighed in defeat, “your commanding officer beckons.”

 

**

 

“Captain, Ray Diamond is a prisoner that we’re holding in County, here’s his jacket.”

 

“Good.” Sharon and Brenda locked eyes. There was something behind Brenda’s gaze, maybe it was surprise that Sharon hadn’t fallen to pieces. Fritz glanced at the exchange and Brenda tore away, resuming her briefing, albeit with more flush in her cheeks.

 

Sharon read down the file on Ray Diamond as Brenda continued to brief the squad. Sharon felt giddy that she was actually going to be on the same side as Brenda in an investigation and that her presence was actually _requested_.

 

“Captain Raydor…”

 

“Chief Johnson.” Sharon smirked as she looked up from the file.

 

“I have a complaint.”

 

“When have you not?” Sharon barely kept the smile from surfacing.

 

Brenda, of course, had the resident best poker face. “In our interview with Mr. Diamond, he said that after leading the police on a car chase, he was beaten before he was arrested.”

 

Andy Flynn, on the other hand, though an excellent cop, tended to have a bit of a blind spot when it came to women lying. He objected, giving Sharon a scathing look of reproach, “Come on, Chief. Diamond probably dumped the car at some point and tried to run away. When you tackle a suspect like that, there’s bound to be-”

 

Sharon narrowed her eyes and said in her best serious voice, “Lieutenant Flynn, this bruise underneath his eye and the cut on his forehead indicate a possible categorical use of force by the LAPD.”

 

Andy shook his head with disbelief and waved her off. That woman.

 

Gabriel caught wind of the situation and jumped in to the women’s aid. “He did say it was his toughest bust ever.” Andy looked at Gabriel with disbelief.

 

“I think that I should go to county jail and interview Mr. Diamond. Immediately.”

 

“While you’re taking his complaint, would you let him know that I am in communication with DDA Hobbs?” Brenda asked, handing off the picture of Robert Curtis.

 

“Great.”

 

“See if you can get him to confirm that this banker really is the intended target. Also, while you’re conducting your FID investigation, see if Mr. Diamond has anything more to say about the case.”

 

**

 

“Pope’s still trying to hand this case over to county.” Brenda groaned, rubbing her eyes, gearing herself up for another battle.

 

Sharon protested, “but Chief, on the tape, Ray Diamond says that he was injured after a high speed chase with the _police_.”

 

“…so you still have an open use of force complaint?” Brenda’s eyes lit up.

 

“And Chief Pope cannot shut me down.” Sharon said with a coy quirk of her eyebrow,

 

“Well then, Maria Flores might be an excellent witness for you.” Brenda’s pulse was quickening, everything was working according to her plan so far.

 

“If I can find her.” Sharon nodded.

 

The entire room filed toward the exit. Brenda held the door open and as Sharon passed through she said quietly, “nothing can stop you, Captain, you’re a force of nature.”

 

“You flatter me, Chief Johnson.” Sharon purred.

 

“Hello everyone!” Gavin announced as he entered with his rolling suitcase. He caught sight of Sharon and waved to her with a grin. She smiled and waved back – always such a polite young man.

 

“Oh… Gavin…” Brenda bit her lip as Andy started fawning over the attorney. “I’m so sorry… I forgot you were comin’… we’ve just been hit with a possible murder for hire case and we’re just gonna have to reschedule.”

 

“Well, dear, what’s the point in confirming our appointments if you’re not going to keep them?” Gavin chastised in that way that only mothers, attorneys and Sharon could pull off.

 

“I have no control over when people are killed.” Brenda insisted, impervious to mothers, attorneys and Sharon attitude. “And this case has a ticking clock on it, so-”

 

“You want to see a ticking clock?” Gavin reached into his jacket and extracted his blackberry, “ _this_ is my schedule today.”

 

Brenda squinted at it. Sharon had to resist the urge to hand Brenda her own glasses.

 

“And _these_ ,” Gavin continued, “these are the hours for which you will be billed.”

 

“Someone’s life is in the balance.” Brenda narrowed her eyes.

 

“Well, I’m not paid to care about that. I’m paid to care about _you_ by the hour.” He grinned his infuriating charm school grin. Brenda could give as good as she got, she grew up in the land of sickeningly sweet, diabetes-causing smiles and was, undoubtedly, about to give him a piece of her mind when Sharon stepped in.

 

“Hey Gavin,” she smiled at the dirty blonde haired man before taking Brenda by the arm and pulling her aside, “Chief, we know that information is being leaked to the Baylor family’s attorney by somebody in your division and Gavin needs to interview…”

 

Brenda and Sharon turned to look at Gavin, who had been chatting with Fritz. Gavin smiled and batted his eyelashes at Sharon. The women turned away again and Sharon finished, “ _everyone_ here.”

 

“I… haven’t prepared everybody for this…” Brenda admitted, a little bit of the attitude dropping from her voice.

 

“You haven’t told your detectives that Gavin needs to talk to them?” Sharon demanded.

 

“ _Noo._..”

 

“Well, now may be a very good time to do it.” Sharon drawled, turning Brenda around and giving her middle a playful squeeze before stepping away.

 

“Alright, uh,” she felt a slight flush in her cheeks from Sharon’s touch. Somehow, it _was_ easier to be around her without so much pressure. “Everyone, may I have your attention just for a moment, please? I know that everyone’s been through the ringer on this whole… Shootin’ Newton case and all of you saw my… attorney, Gavin, at your depositions some of you may know him from his days as a city attorney.”

 

Andy stepped up to fawn again. Flynn and Provenza squabbling. Brenda started to drift from the conversation as her eyes wandered back to Sharon. She did look delicious in that damn Armani pin-striped suit.

 

Commander Taylor stepped in to bring the three ring circus to a grinding halt. “I believe Gavin wants to talk to us.”

 

“To make a long story short, Commander, yes.” Brenda nodded. The commander had been a very large pain in the ass for the past few… years… but she did value his attention to detail.

 

“Has this been cleared with our union reps?” Gabriel looked to Gavin and Brenda with skepticism.

 

“Well, I’m not swearing anyone,” Gavin assuaged, reaching into his briefcase to extract his list of five questions. As he spoke, Brenda’s eyes moved back to Sharon who was engrossed in something else, giving Brenda the opportunity to openly stare.

 

Commander Taylor took the lead again and volunteered to go first, the sound of him snatching the paper from Gavin’s hand brought Brenda back to the moment and she caught Fritz’s eye. She remembered, with annoyance, that she’d been beckoned to Pope’s office. When she looked over for Sharon to accompany them, she found that Sharon had already left the room.

 

All of the little things that Sharon did that had initially attracted her to her were starting to bring a flush of exhilaration to her again. Maybe they were best as flirty friends.

 

**

 

Hobbs wasted no time letting Brenda know her feelings, “I can’t wait any longer! Robert Curtis’s attorney has been slow walking us for _three_ years! It’s already cost the taxpayers millions. The preliminary hearing is set for today after the judge’s regular court hours. Curtis will be there.”

 

“The murder is supposed to happen today.” Brenda objected.

 

“According to a jailhouse snitch and convicted perjurer.”

 

“Who was killed speakin’ to us!”

 

“People get knocked off for all kinds of reasons in _county jail_.” Hobbs rolled her eyes, clearly unconvinced by Brenda’s thickening accent and pleas for reason. “And this so-called threat can’t have anything to do with Curtis. His hearing is being held in a secret location.”

 

“Where?” Pope asked.

 

Hobbs looked conflicted before admitting, “in a police substation off Alvera St. which nobody, absolutely nobody, knows about, not even the judge.”

 

“Maybe the cartel has sources the judge doesn’t.” Fritz spoke up. Not being of the LAPD he had a much easier time casting shades of doubt.

 

“The death of a potential informant in this case seems to suggest that a delay might be prudent…” Pope said.

 

“No, no!” Hobbs cried, “ _no_. The testimony of Robert Curtis will help de-fund a narco-terror organization that has been operating with impunity across our border! I won’t risk getting him scared into backing off!”

 

Brenda scoffed, “what if Curtis gets assassinated on his way to court?”

 

“We have an enormous security team around him already. You want me to make it bigger?”

 

Brenda nodded, “by at least one. I want to join his security detail.”

 

The entire room broke into protests. Pope’s voice rising above that of everyone else’s, “no, no, I don’t want you involved in this.”

 

“Look, the last time I failed to prevent a murder we got sued. All of us. You really want to go through that again?” This time Brenda challenged Hobbs directly.

 

The dda sighed and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She looked between Fritz and Pope and eventually gave up. Princess Brenda always gets her way. “Fine. You can speak with Robert Curtis but you will not mention a specific threat to him. He goes to court today.”

 

“Great. And I’ll send your boss the bill for Chief Johnson’s services.” Pope announced.

 

An aggrieved DDA, a protective FBI agent and a zealous Deputy Chief filed for the door. “Chief Johnson, I need a quick word with you in private.”

 

Hobbs groaned audibly but left the room without protest.

 

“What is it, Will?” Brenda rolled her eyes.

 

“Okay, first of all. Maybe you could pretend that you respect my authority.”

 

“I’ll take it under advisement. Second of all?”

 

Pope pulled the change of address form from his middle drawer, “I received your and Captain Raydor’s change of address forms.”

 

“And that requires an official follow-up _because_ …?” Brenda demanded.

 

“You listed Agent Howard’s address.”

 

“Yes, Agent Howard has graciously allowed me to stay at his place until I can find my own apartment.”

 

“I’m required to ask if there’s a relationship.” Pope objected, “and if there is you both have to sign affidavits that it won’t affect your professional relationship.”

 

“Will, I lived with a rule-book thumping internal affairs Captain long enough to know that as long as he does not receive paychecks from the LAPD – which he does not, he is paid solely by the FBI – our relationship status is of no business of the LAPD regardless of his job title of FBI-LAPD liaison.”

 

Pope hmphed.

 

“Are we through? Can I get back to doing my job?”

 

“I’m just concerned about this whole thing becoming a soap opera.” Pope snapped, “you do seem to have a tendency to use work as a dating service.”

 

“I resent that accusation, Will Pope. I have only ever dated three people that I have worked with out of _hundreds_ of co-workers and I am most certainly not the only one.” She looked at Pope accusingly.

 

“Absolutely. It happens all the time. The problem here is that all three of your former and maybe not-so-former work relationships are working this case with you. That is a potential conflict of interest, not only for you but for both Captain Raydor and Agent Howard.”

 

“Captain Raydor is conducting her own FID investigation!” Brenda protested, “that has nothing to do with my investigation!”

 

“Oh, please.” Will rolled his eyes.

 

“If you’ll excuse me,” Brenda scowled, “I do believe I am holding up the impatient Ms. Hobbs.”

 

**

 

Brenda was all too happy to step away from Mr. Robert Curtis, slimy grease ball of the century, and was even happier to see that it was Sharon who was calling.

 

“Hello Captain,”

 

“I found Maria Florez.” Sharon announced.

 

“Oh, thank goodness. Where?”

 

“Is there any reason she’d be on Alvera St.?”

 

“Did you say Alvera St.?”

 

“Correct. I caught up with her coming out of her workplace and I’ve been following her around the plaza here for the last twenty minutes in some kind of holding pattern.”

 

Brenda covered the mouthpiece and leaned in to whisper to Fritz, “I think Maria knows the location of the secret court.” She turned away and addressed Sharon again, “is she alone?”

 

“Yeah. Although she could be circling in order to pick someone up.” Sharon suggested.

 

“Okay, we need to find out where Maria leads you. I’m gonna send my detectives to help. Don’t pick her up unless you absolutely have to and do not lose her.”

 

“Why would I lose her?” Sharon asked in a low tone with a bit of a smug grin tugging at her lips. She closed the phone and bobbed her head with amusement. As if she could lose a woman driving a bright red car in a predictable pattern.

 

**

 

Brenda’s phone rang, “hello.”

 

“Chief, Maria Florez just picked up a passenger, a young Latino male, we’re going to roll ‘em up.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Where are you?”

 

“Hang on… she’s turning…” Sharon rounded the corner after the red impala, picking up the speed a little as Maria did.

 

As the car moved past the Starbucks the passenger opened fire. The silence that ensued as Sharon held her breath was peppered with the staccato bursts of machine gun fire and then screams from the café patrons.

 

Sharon ended the call, now more intent than ever not to lose that damn car.

 

“Sharon!” Brenda shouted into the phone, her heart wrenching. “Sharon, what happened? Answer me!”

 

Sharon gripped the wheel and threw on her flashers as she weaved around other cars trying to catch up to Maria Florez. The sound of other police cars alerted her that her back up was also on hot pursuit.

 

Sharon was gunning the gas, Florez was dead ahead. The Impala went through the yellow light and Sharon pleaded that the way would remain clear but a silver car from the cross street started across the intersection and Sharon had to slam on her brakes, stopping mere inches from the other car.

 

The Major Crimes’ cars sped around the two stopped vehicles and Sharon caught eyes with the man driving the silver Toyota. “Go.” She mouthed, gesturing for him to get the fuck out of her way.

 

It didn’t take long for Sharon to catch back up to the fray, pulling in front of Gabriel again as Maria steered down a road currently occupied by a farmer’s market and crashed into a parked car. Maria jumped out as the police pulled over and pulled their guns on them.

 

Maria pleaded as she held up her hands.

 

“Toss your weapon out of the car and come out with your hands in the air!” Sanchez screamed. The shooter dropped the gun out of the open window and slowly got out. “On the ground! _El piso_!”

 

The shooter regarded Sanchez challengingly. Sharon lowered her weapon and opened her back door to grab the bean bag gun she kept there.

 

“On your knees!”

 

The shooter looked behind him to the crowded street. “Down on your knees!” Sanchez yelled again and the shooter started walking toward the crowd.

 

“Out of the way!” Gabriel demanded, “move! Stop moving, sir! Clear out of the way! Get out of the way!”

 

Sharon strode through the line of Major Crimes, “nobody shoot,” she ordered, “I’ve got him.” She cocked the gun and raised it.

 

The shooter turned at the sound of her voice and upon seeing a middle-aged woman in three inch pumps and a fancy suit couldn’t help but snicker. “What are you gonna do, lady? _Shoot me_?”

 

She pulled the trigger of the gun and the shooter went down with a surprised oof. She lowered the gun, looking down the alley as Tao, Sanchez and Gabriel rushed forward.

 

“Holy _crap_!” Tao exclaimed, slack jawed, “you got him right between the eyes!”

 

“Lucky shot. The recoil on these bean bag guns is awful.” She said, attempting modesty but unable to keep herself from grinning just a bit. She didn’t have a marksmanship medal for nothing.

 

She sauntered back to her car with swagger in her step as Sanchez, Gabriel and Tao gaped at her.

 

**

 

Brenda speed walked down the hallway, desperate to get into the squad room. The proximity reader accepted her badge and beeped to signal her entrance was granted. She pushed open the door and saw Sharon standing there.

 

She went right up to her and hugged her. Sharon jumped a little, startled by the sudden contact. “For the record, Captain,” Brenda breathed, giving the woman a squeeze, “this is an appropriate reaction when someone you care about has just been involved in a life or death situation.”

 

“I’ll make a note of it, thank you, Chief.” Sharon whispered.

 

Brenda let Sharon go and saw Fritz standing by DDA Hobbs, “and Fritz, are you alright?” She walked up and hugged him.

 

“I’m okay,” he nodded, giving her back a rub.

 

Sharon noted, with pleasure, that Brenda did not squeeze Fritz. They parted and she addressed the rest of the room, “good job, everyone.”

 

“Oh, Chief, in case you’re interested. Regarding the Ray Diamond case, the officers who apprehended him were not responsible for his injuries. I found a witness in jail who said that Diamond admitted to running into a telephone pole face-first.”

 

“You’re still investigatin’ the use of force complaint?” Brenda asked dumbly.

 

“Of course… what’d you think I was doing?” Sharon purred and turned to leave, “I’ll be back before Gavin leaves.”

 

Brenda watched Sharon walk away. Regardless of whether or not they could live together, she did have a deep and abiding love for the woman. Brenda shook herself back to the problems at hand and turned back to the squad.

 

“Andrea,” Brenda said, realizing she had yet to inquire about the one person in the room who had actually been shot.

 

“I’m fine.” Hobbs smiled, “just a scratch.”

 

**

 

Provenza walked from the conference room into the bullpen and called for attention, “alright, alright, listen up everyone. Now I know we’ve all been through hell because of this damn witch-hunt, but these questions imply that one of us is cooperating with the Baylor’s attorney and I find that _insulting_ \-- to my character and that of everyone else in this room.” Punctuating his point by tearing the list of questions in half, he threw the offending document into the wastebin.

 

“For the record, I find it insultin’ too.” Brenda said with a sigh.

 

“For the record, as well,” Sharon started, silently cursing Brenda for making her the bad guy _again_ , “there’s simply no way that Mr. Goldman knows what he knows about Major Crimes without inside information.”

 

“So, somewhere in this division there’s a leak.” Commander Taylor said.

 

Everyone in the room looked around at everyone else in the room but no one spoke.

 

“Okay then,” Gavin smiled, “well, it was really nice spending time with all of you today. We’ll be meeting again soon.”

 

“Wait up, Gavin,” Flynn turned, “did you learn anything?”

 

“Nothing I didn’t already suspect. See, everyone here talks to everyone else here about everything. So, if one person knows something… you all do. So to that _leak_ that you don’t think exists… will you _please_ tell Mr. Goldman,” Gavin grinned smugly, walking around, staring everyone down one by one, moving to the next person as punctuation as he spoke, “that he can sneak around all he wants to… but if this case _ever_ goes to a court room… I win. No matter what he thinks he knows… I win. No matter what _lies_ he gets passed… I win. But in the meantime, please be safe everybody. It is a rough world out there and it’s getting rougher every day.”

 

Brenda stared after him as he left with Sharon in tow. She blinked and looked over at Will and then sighed and retreated into her office.

 

At the elevator bank, Sharon and Gavin stood alone. “On a lighter note, Sharon, you look fantastic.”

 

“Why thank you, Gavin.” She smiled.

 

“I just want you to know that Angela told me about you and Brenda. I can’t imagine how hard this must be on you… logging all of those hours on the transparency audit _and_ not being able to discuss any of it with your partner.”

 

“Actually, it just got a whole lot easier because we broke up.”

 

“Oh no.” Gavin feigned sadness, “I’m so sorry to hear that. Is there… someone else?”

 

“No, it had just run its course. I’m really fine.” Sharon grinned, “shot someone in the head with a bean bag gun today.”

 

“Look at you!” Gavin filed that mental image away for later. “You know, I would absolutely love to talk to you about the transparency audit over coffee. You free now?”

 

“I would love to but I have quite a bit of paperwork to do.”

 

“Yeah, that happens when you shoot someone in the head, doesn’t it?”

 

“I’ll take a rain check though.”

 

“Oh, absolutely,” Gavin pulled a business card from one of his interior pockets and held it out for her, “you call me _anytime_.”

 

“I have your number.” Sharon shook her head.

 

“This one has my home number on the back.”

 

“Oh, thank you,” Sharon accepted the card.

 

The elevator doors opened and Gavin stepped inside. “Coming?”

 

“I’m going up actually. It’s always nice to see you, Gavin.” Sharon held up the card, “I’ll call you soon, we’ll get together.”

 

“Maybe we’ll even do dinner.” Gavin shrugged and winked at Sharon as the doors closed in front of him.

 

**

 

Brenda had retreated to her office after Gavin’s pep talk, Fritz appeared in the doorway. “I just wanted to let you know that I have to head over to the bureau to finish processing Maria Florez. I’ll probably be awhile so don’t wait up for me tonight.”

 

Brenda nodded, “okay.”

 

“How are you doing?”

 

“I’m fine.” She waved him off. “Have a good night, Fritzy.”

 

“You too.”

 

She opened her candy drawer but, oddly, found herself not excited about any of its contents. She was feeling deflated. She knew that Sharon was right, that someone on the inside had to have said something to the Baylor’s attorney. She also knew that no one in her division would have talked. She honestly didn’t know what to believe anymore.

 

Her thoughts went back to Sharon and she realized she hadn’t properly thanked Sharon for her involvement and her willingness to do Brenda a favor.

 

She always felt guilty for taking the elevator up to the Internal Affairs floor because it was only two floors up from Major Crimes but she didn’t really feel like taking the stairs. Once off of the elevator into the pristine entryway, she veered off to the right. She passed rows of desks, two large conference rooms, an interview room and a break room area, all devoid of people. At the very end was the office for the woman who oversaw the entire Force Investigation Division. The blinds were drawn but there was a light on inside.

 

Brenda walked up to the door and hesitated. She could turn and walk away and Sharon would never know she’d been there. She knocked before she could chicken out.

 

“It’s open,” Sharon beckoned, distractedly.

 

Brenda opened the door to see Sharon at her desk typing up the last of her paperwork. She looked up and smiled a little, “you’re here late.”

 

“It’s been a long day. I’m too exhausted to get in the car to drive anywhere.”

 

“I know the feeling.” Sharon sat back in her chair, “I’m mentally debating where would be more comfortable to sleep: the couch or my car.”

 

“Well, if you want my opinion, I’d say the car is more comfortable than the LAPD torture racks they put in the offices and call couches but it has the added benefit of being no more than four feet away from you whereas the car is down seven floors and over a block and a half.”

 

“Very fair point.” Sharon nodded.

 

“So, I just wanted to come up and say… thank you for helping out with the case. I’m glad that we’re able to work together.”

 

“You’re welcome, Chief.” Sharon reached into her drawer and pulled out a Hershey dark chocolate bar, “I wanted to give you this. I found it in the glove compartment of my car. I have a feeling I’m going to start finding a lot of your hidden stashes.”

 

She stood from the desk and walked over to Brenda, holding out the proffered chocolate. Brenda reached out, her fingers brushing Sharon’s. She slid her hand under Sharon’s, cupping the soft skin. With her other hand she took the candy bar and reached around Sharon to set it on the desk. Brenda guided Sharon’s hand to cup her cheek.

 

Sharon stroked her thumb over Brenda’s cheek bone. She leaned closer to the blonde, Brenda stepped into Sharon’s personal space, pressing her body against the older woman. Sharon closed the remaining space between them and captured Brenda’s lips.

 

Brenda pushed them back until Sharon’s ass bumped the desk and Newton’s first law of motion prevented them from going any further. Sharon moaned into the kiss and started to divest Brenda over her jacket.

 

The blonde went straight for the fly of Sharon’s pinstriped suit pants and opened them just enough to slide her hand in. Her fingers moved through the silky hair before sliding over slick folds. Sharon gasped and bucked her hips. Brenda pressed against her, pushing her harder into the desk.

 

Sharon fisted Brenda’s skirt, pulling it up around her waist; she pulled the fabric of damp panties away from Brenda’s center and pushed two fingers up into the deputy chief.

 

“Oh… Lord…” Brenda moaned, returning the favor and thrusting her fingers into Sharon.

 

Sharon used her free hand to hold Brenda close, grinding her hips against the woman’s hand as she pumped in out of Brenda. The room was filled with their ragged breaths and moans as they fucked each other.

 

“This… doesn’t mean we’re getting back together,” Sharon ground out, feeling Brenda’s come sliding down her palm.

 

“Oh my goodness, no,” Brenda panted, feeling the Captain’s muscles starting to clamp down.

 

“Oh god,” Sharon buried her face in Brenda’s shoulder, “make me come, please…” she whimpered, her body beginning to shudder as her own thrusting became more erratic.

 

“Only because you were so nice,” Brenda breathed in Sharon’s ear, “and you did me such a nice favor…” Brenda’s palm ground against Sharon’s clit. Sharon’s breath hitched and her muscles contracted around her.

 

Brenda let her head back and groaned as her own orgasm followed suit. The two women stood panting and reeling, still pressed against the desk. Brenda pulled her hand from Sharon’s pants slowly; Sharon gasped and moaned as Brenda grazed her hypersensitive clit on the way out. Sharon eased Brenda’s skirt back down with her clean hand.

 

“Well…” Sharon reached behind her on the desk for the tissue box and wiped her fingers off. “It’s getting late and I guess I should be getting home…”

 

“Me too.” Brenda whispered, stealing a soft kiss. “And I’m really glad you weren’t hurt today.”

 

“I’ll see you around…” Sharon nipped at Brenda’s bottom lip.

 

Brenda reached behind Sharon and grabbed a tissue and the Hershey’s. She gave Sharon a smoldering look before letting herself out.

 

Sharon pulled her zipper up and clasped the button and slumped against the desk. “Good _grief_ …”


	8. Star Turn

Brenda couldn’t stop her eyes from watering. The frustration about the stinging and bleary vision was exacerbated by having to justify to Will Pope that she was right about foul play. Wiping at her eyes with the industrial strength shop towel she hmphed as Will called “come in!”

 

Sharon sauntered in, all beaming smiles until she saw Brenda’s red, puffy eyes and concern washed over her.

 

“Good afternoon.” Gavin greeted as he shut the door behind them. “Good to see everyone in one place…” He said slowly, scrutinizing the scene in front of him. “Just passed Goldman sitting outside.”

 

“Looking very smug.” Sharon looked between Will and Brenda. “Something wrong?”

 

“Oh, just pepper spray!” Brenda frowned, lifting the shop towel to her running nose. The brunette had nursed her through food poisoning and a bout of gastroenteritis yet she still felt embarrassed to have a dripping nose in front of her.

 

Will immediately launched into the explanation to assuage Sharon that it wasn’t an incident that required IA’s attention.

 

“Goldman’s offer has already been approved by the city’s attorney.” Sharon announced, trying to get Will Pope to stop making asinine suggestions like a grown man pepper spraying himself in the face while trying to ward off a small woodland creature. “And now it’s our turn to take a look.”

 

“Goldman is going to make this offer seem like a miracle cure so don’t get too excited when you hear it, okay?” Gavin looked at Brenda pointedly.

 

“Okay.” She nodded, still sniffling.

 

“Mr. Goldman, come in please.” Pope opened the door for him, coughing into his handkerchief. “I think you’ve met everyone.”

 

Brenda looked across the table at the man who was making her life hell and wiped her nose again. “Was it something I said?” Goldman joked obnoxiously.

 

Pope laughed. “Pepper spray. Sorry we can’t offer you any.” Goldman laughed at the joke and Sharon had to turn away to roll her eyes.

 

“We’re anxious to hear about this settlement.” Sharon stepped back up to the table.

 

“I have good news. Followed by even better news.” Goldman looked around the room, clearly pleased with himself. Gavin watched him with skepticism and narrowed eyes. “The Baylor family has agreed to lower the claim from twenty million to five hundred thousand dollars.”

 

Brenda looked to Sharon, hoping to see something in the woman’s face that would give away her feelings about the announcement. Sharon just stared at him, stone-faced, hands shoved deeply into her pockets.

 

Goldman grinned his sickening grin. “I know! Not every day you get a ninety seven and a half percent discount!”

 

Gavin looked over at Sharon. Pope spoke up, “that does sound like good news.”

 

Gavin hmmed, “so, what’s the better news?”

 

“If you agree to the settlement, the Baylor family will drop their claim of wrongful death against Chief Johnson,” Goldman gestured toward Brenda.

 

Brenda frowned when everyone’s attention was redirected to her in the middle of blowing her nose. She felt Sharon’s eyes on her but when she looked over to the brunette her focus was back on the grease ball on the other side of the table.

 

“In exchange for what?” Sharon demanded in a low, menacing tone.

 

“Sorry?” Goldman blinked.

 

“Well, you’ve made the sun shine,” Gavin smirked, “now tell us about the rain.”

 

“There… is some language which stipulates Deputy Chief Johnson was ‘unconcerned’ with Turrell Baylor’s welfare when she dropped him off.”

 

“Language is a magical thing…” Gavin drawled as he took notes on his legal pad.

 

“You will also note,” Goldman resumed, handing copies of the settlement to every person in the room, “that I have significantly lowered my contingency fees. This has never been about money; this is about righting a wrong: getting Mrs. Baylor a new house so she’s not forced to live where her son was brutally murdered.”

 

His last sentence was spoken while looking directly at Brenda. Brenda slid her glasses up her nose, the rims bumping sensitive flesh.

 

“And this offer does all of that without singling anyone out for blame. So. Read it, please, every word, under a microscope. And you’re welcome.”

 

Gavin held the door open, looking down at the paper dismissively, “thanks, we’ll confer.”

 

“I was kind of hoping we could settle this _today_.”

 

“Mm, sorry to disappoint.” Gavin cocked an eyebrow. “B’bye.”

 

Goldman scowled, “fine. I’ll expect an answer by midnight tomorrow. Chief Johnson.” He looked to Gavin as he left but Gavin didn’t look up from the settlement, only pushed the door closed as soon as the unattractive little man had passed over the threshold into the hallway.

 

“Well, I can see why the city loves this offer.” Pope said. Gavin held up a halting hand to the happiness that threatened to break out on Brenda’s face. “Obviously, five hundred grand instead of _twenty million_ and no one is reassigned, right? No one’s culpable…”

 

“Still says I didn’t care what happened to Turrell Baylor.” Brenda bit her lip.

 

“That’s okay, nobody cared about him until he died.” Sharon pointed out wryly. Brenda looked at her, for the first time since the whole mess began Sharon had actually let her feelings about the debacle be somewhat known. “Gavin, what do you think?”

 

Gavin felt a little thrill at Sharon’s request for his opinion. “Well… the agreement appears reasonable… but I’m not going to pressure my client into signing a potentially life changing document in the next five minutes.”

 

“Well, then allow me.” Pope announced, “Chief Johnson, let’s get this civil suit over with and I’ll take us all out for a celebratory drink.”

 

“The motion for summary judgment is set to be argued next week. I can win it, I will win it. This agreement acknowledges as much. Goldman is desperate. Why would you want to celebrate paying five hundred thousand dollars for something you could get for free?”

 

“What if you’re wrong and the judge decides to try this case. Have you thought about what would happen to your client then?”

 

“I don’t think of anything but what will happen to my client. Can you say the same?” Gavin demanded. Pope rolled his eyes and looked away. “No. Didn’t think so.”

 

**

 

“Hey,” Gavin leaned against Angela’s open door.

 

She looked up from the motion she was drafting. “Hey.”

 

“So, you’re the nit-pickiest pain in the ass I know,” he started.

 

“Oh, you’re such a charmer, how could my mother resist you?” Angela responded flatly.

 

“I know, right?” He let himself in and sat down on the other side of her desk. “I just need you to look at something for me and you’re like an idiot savant when it comes to picking language apart.”

 

“Take the ‘idiot’ out of that statement and _maybe_.” She tapped her inbox. “If I have time.”

 

“It’s for Brenda,” Gavin pleaded.

 

“She broke up with my mother. Maybe I’d like to see her get punished a little. Karma’s a bitch, you know.”

 

“She may have broken up with your mother but you know your mother would be really upset if Brenda went to prison.” Gavin drawled, “it might even make her more sympathetic to her and slow down her recovery.”

 

“Okay, fine. Leave it with me and I’ll look at it in a couple of hours.”

 

Gavin took Angela’s hand in both of his and brought it to his lips, “you’re a goddess. I adore you.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.”

 

“And not just because you’re going to grow up to look just like your mother.” Gavin teased, “hey, speaking of, would you like to go to dinner with me in 2031?”

 

“Mm, sorry, I’m washing my hair that decade.” Angela mocked an apologetic smile. “Maybe sometime in the 2040s.”

 

“Even better!”

 

“Okay, really, get out of here before you say something that I’m going to regret hearing.”

 

**

 

Brenda was stretched out on Fritz’s couch in a green sweater and her silky kitty pyjama pants watching the news footage of her case.

 

“It’s only a bit of comfort if you believe Bob Michaels found a fresh pizza on a mountain trail one hour before he was pepper sprayed and shoved off the side of a cliff by the invisible man.” Brenda groused, looking to Fritz who was ignoring her in favor of reading over the agreement.

 

“It’s so frustratin’ you couldn’t find the footprints.” Brenda griped, trying to get his attention by draping a foot across his lap.

 

“Too many feet on the trail to tell who’s who.” Fritz glanced over at her before using his free hand to massage the ball of her foot. “And obviously someone neatened up near the top of the cliff. It’s not my fault.”

 

“Oh! If I hear that song again _I’m_ gonna jump off a cliff.” Brenda muted the TV and dropped the remote in annoyance.

 

“Gotta admit, it’s kinda catchy.”

 

Brenda glared at Fritz. “So’s the flu.” She rubbed her eyes with a frown. “You should see the contract that Bruno uses to fool these parents. They pay four thousand dollars for a song and music video but then he gets eighty percent of the proceeds. It’s a total scam!”

 

“It’s kind of like this blameless settlement offer…” Fritz looked at her again. “You really want to sign this?”

 

“I have read it over and over and I can’t find anything in it that locks me, or the LAPD, into liability for Turrell’s death.”

 

“What about ‘by releasing him in hostile surroundings Deputy Chief Johnson demonstrated a lack of professional concern for the safety of the plaintiff’s son?’”

 

“Well… doesn’t say I arranged his murder which is what it used to say.” Brenda wiggled her foot to get Fritz’s attention again. “Besides, Gavin said it was a reasonable offer.”

 

He pushed her foot down, favoring a serious discussion over Brenda’s attempts to distract him. “No, you told me Gavin said it _appears_ to be a reasonable offer. _Appears._ ”

 

“Sometimes things are as they appear to be, life doesn’t always have to be so complicated.” Brenda pouted.

 

“I’m sorry, my name’s Fritz Howard. Who are you?”

 

Brenda looked at him sincerely, “the person who can end this civil suit for everybody.”

 

“Why don’t you wait to see what Gavin has to say.”

 

“I know what Gavin’s going to say. He’s certain he can win the motion for summary judgment but it’s not his life on the line, it’s mine! And and and I want things to go back to normal. Right now.”

 

“You sure you can live with this?”

 

“I think I have to.”

 

“I’m going to get ready for bed.” Fritz picked up Brenda’s feet and set them on the couch as he stood up.

 

“I can sleep on the couch tonight, Fritzy, you don’t have to give up your bed for me.” Brenda sighed.

 

“That’s sweet, but we both know you’d be miserable. Let’s save us both the frustration and I’ll just sleep on the couch.”

 

Brenda cupped his cheeks affectionately. He moved forward and she turned slightly, causing him to back off. “I… I’m sorry… I know that I’m not being very fair to you.”

 

“I’d wait forever for you, Brenda Leigh Johnson.” Fritz said softly. Brenda smiled back at him, her heart breaking at his words. Fritz Howard was not the great love of her life, she was already aware of that. She couldn’t bring herself to end the fantasy because she still needed things from him.

 

She leaned up and kissed his forehead softly.

 

Fritz smiled and gave her hand a squeeze. She watched him disappear into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. She sighed and leaned over the coffee table to sign the papers.

 

She wanted all of this behind her. She wanted to figure out what she wanted from Sharon. It had seemed like the thing to do at the time, like Sharon wasn’t concerned about her but in the two weeks that followed she wasn’t really sure anymore.

 

Sharon was by the book to a fault which, more than once, resulted in her not being there for Brenda because of ‘regulations.’ Fritz jumped into action any time she batted her eyelashes, he was attentive and he loved her and he never pretended he didn’t love her just because there were people from work around.

 

Brenda also realized, since being away from her and feeling separate from her, that she chose Sharon over Fritz once and she always would.

 

**

 

“Yes?” Brenda asked tiredly, opening the door of Pope’s office.

 

“How come this Bruno character announced his arrest to the press?”

 

“We give people their phone calls, who they call is up to them.” Brenda said flippantly, already preparing to make her exit.

 

“Maybe he thought that if he acted rashly his problems with magically disappear.” Brenda jumped at the sound of her voice and turned to see Sharon sitting at Pope’s table. “Like someone who signs a settlement to a lawsuit without talking to her attorney.”

 

“How did you find out about that?” Brenda narrowed her eyes with annoyance.

 

Pope sighed, “I have to forward all signed settlement agreements to Professional Standards, sorry…”

 

“It is my _job_ to review all legal agreements concerning officer conduct and I refuse to certify this document.” Sharon tapped the offensive pile of papers with her pointer finger while watching Brenda with a look of reproach.

 

“Why?” Brenda demanded.

 

“Because we need to determine if the term ‘professionally indifferent’ has broader legal implications.”

 

“Honestly, you think I’d be congratulated for agreeing to fall on my sword.” Brenda huffed.

 

“Right? And with negligent homicide off the table it’s really more like a pen knife anyway.” Pope added, causing Brenda and Sharon to cast him uneasy glances.

 

Brenda shook it off and looked back to Sharon. “I wanna sign it. I want this to be over.”

 

Sharon tucked the document away into her bag and leaned back in the chair nonchalantly. “Maybe tonight. We’ll see.”

 

“Fine.” Brenda ground out, feeling a mixture of angry and morose and trying to keep both off of her face. She knew that Sharon knew her well enough to recognize either and did the only thing she could do, she turned away. To Pope she added, “I tried.” Before retreating from the room.

 

Sharon stood from the table, glad to be leaving. “You and I both know this deal isn’t getting any better.” Pope said, derailing her before she got to the door.

 

Sharon glared at Pope. “There’s something here we’re missing. I don’t trust Goldman and when it comes to this agreement, I don’t trust you either.”

 

“I am the Chief of Police-” Pope started, prepared to lay into Sharon.

 

“ _Acting_ Chief.” Sharon was quick to point out. “And I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that I am on the committee that will be evaluating your performance as Chief.”

 

“Is that a threat, Captain?”

 

Sharon looked taken aback, “I never make idle threats, you should know that about me by now.”

 

“It’s in her best interest to end this now.” Pope insisted in a low voice, “you think you’re doing her some big favor by dragging your feet but you’re just making it worse.”

 

“We’ll see.” Sharon shrugged dismissively before letting herself out. As soon as she stepped out of the office she was face to face with Brenda. She jumped a little and laid a hand over her heart, “you startled me.”

 

“Why won’t you sign off on it?” Brenda demanded. “And who gave you the power to be able to veto it anyway?”

 

“We were together for six years and you don’t know what I do?” Sharon snorted.

 

“How can I keep track? You do a million different things! Force Investigation Division Captain, Co-Chair of Women in the LAPD something or other, Professional Standards... department… liaison?”

 

Sharon crossed her arms over her chest, “are you through?”

 

“I want to sign the agreement, Sharon, and I’m sick of you trying to play mother all the time. You don’t always know what’s best for everyone.”

 

“I’m not’ _playing mother_ ’ and for the record I find that offensive and sexist.” Sharon put a defiant hand on her hip.

 

“Oh, it can’t be sexist if another _woman_ says it!”

 

Sharon let out a frustrated growl. “Sometimes I can’t believe the things that come out of your mouth. The only thing that ever stops the deluge of crap is when you put your foot in your mouth.”

 

“Just sign off on the papers so I can be done with this whole thing and I can be done with you!” Brenda snarled.

 

The door opened behind them, “hey! These walls are not sound proof, you know!” Pope snapped. “Is it so much to ask to go argue somewhere else?”

 

Sharon turned and started walking toward the elevator bank. “I’m not finished with you!” Brenda called, catching up with her.

 

“Hey, Chief,” Gabriel cleared his throat, “uh, Tao found something you should take a look at.”

 

Sharon stepped into the elevator and Brenda turned to look at her. “We’ll talk about it later.”

 

“Ooh, that woman makes me so crazy.” Brenda groaned.

 

**

 

“I hear someone has decided they can act as their own lawyer.”

 

“Oh no!” Brenda cried upon seeing Gavin and Sharon, the two people she didn’t need bitching at her right now. “I’m just about to interview a suspect and we don’t have an appointment today.”

 

Brenda started giving Flynn and Sanchez their tasks and asked Buzz to grab his camera and tried to walk away from the double trouble as quickly as possible and failing as Gavin stepped into her path.

 

“Wait, wait, wait. You’re still working on that case?” Gavin’s eyes were wide with excitement and he broke into song, “ _Daddy say yes_!”

 

Brenda blinked a few times in annoyance and answered slowly, “…yes…”

 

“Oh my god. Is that not the worst video _ev-er_?” Gavin giggled and turned to whisper guiltily to Sharon, “I’ve watched it fifty times.”

 

“Chief, do your work, we’ll wait for you in your conference room.”

 

“Oh no, no, no. If I’m off the clock, I would really like to see these people. Can I watch you?”

 

“As long as you’re not chargin’ me.” Brenda tried her best to give a cheery smile but it came out forced and insincere. She could feel Sharon’s disapproval boring into her skin.

 

“Okay?” Gavin looked over to Sharon.

 

“Okay…” Sharon fought the urge to sigh but consented.

 

“Okay!” Gavin announced excitedly, earning him an eye roll from Brenda. Brenda stalked off toward the interview room and Sharon dragged her heels behind Gavin.

 

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he stopped just outside the door to the conference room. “Sorry, Sharon,” he apologized, “I have to take this I’ll be in in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.”

 

Sharon nodded and pushed into the room.

 

He accepted the call and put it to his ear, “my angel,” he greeted sweetly.

 

“Hey…” Angela smirked at the greeting. “I just finished reading over the agreement.”

 

“Just now?”

 

“I had a lot of shit to do!”

 

“I’m sorry, what did you find?”

 

“Nothing. The agreement is squeaky fucking clean.”

 

“Mm…” he chewed on his lip, “I was afraid of that… she wants to sign it… should I let her sign it?”

 

“Not if you ever want to have a chance with my mother – my god, how did I let you corrupt me?” Angela demanded.

 

“Hold on, hold on. Why shouldn’t I let Brenda sign the agreement?”

 

“You were right, he’s desperate and if you let Brenda sign that you’ll be handing her over to him on a silver platter.”

 

“Oh goddamnit!” Gavin cursed. “He just wants her to admit that she didn’t care… that devious, slimy… teeny, tiny, poorly groomed man…”

 

“So, just put that thing right through the shredder and tell Goldman you’ll see him in court where you will rock his world.”

 

“I will rock his world.” Gavin agreed, feeling confident. “And I’m going to tell Brenda that she owes you the world’s largest celebratory mimosa.”

 

“No. Keep me out of this. Promise me you’ll take full credit for the revelation.”

 

“Oh, but Angel!”

 

“Stop calling me that.” Angela rolled her eyes.

 

“I just think you’re being a little silly.”

 

“ _Promise_ me that you won’t tell Brenda or my mother that this was my spot.” Angela insisted.

 

“Alright, alright. Hand to god, I will not tell your stone cold fox of a mother or her sweet-talking, stunning ex-lover that their brilliant, breathtaking love child has saved the day.”

 

“I hate you a lot sometimes.”

 

“Kiss, kiss, bye-bye.” Gavin grinned before hanging up the phone. He entered the room and took a seat near the monitors.

 

Sharon leaned forward, “everything good?”

 

He turned to smile at her, “everything’s coming up roses, ma Cherie.”

 

**

 

“The way you led her down the garden path, just telling her what she wanted to hear… so simple.” Gavin gushed, having a fangirl moment over her recent performance.

 

“Well, when someone’s guilty they’re pretty easy to lead.” Brenda smiled, enjoying the compliment. Sometimes it was nice to have someone impressed with her work again. Everyone else had seen her break suspects so many times before that it was a given, it was old hat.

 

“How right you are.” He said, his tone getting serious. “That’s why…” He threw the agreement to the side, startling Brenda and Sharon.

 

“Oh, come on! We need to discuss this.” Pope demanded, getting a little flush with cantankerousness.

 

“No, we don’t. That settlement has one objective and that is to get my client to take responsibility _in writing_ for the murder of Turrell Baylor.”

 

“But they dropped the wrongful death charges!” Brenda stuttered.

 

“Nowhere does Goldman promise not to re-file the moment after you admit professional indifference to the suspect’s predicament.” Gavin leaned back in his chair, trying to resist the urge to give Angela the credit.

 

“I knew it!” Sharon grinned triumphantly.

 

“Do you really think he’d still try to take me to court?” Brenda chewed the inside of her lip.

 

“Well, this is why he wanted us to check out the offer with a microscope. He wanted us to concentrate on what was _in_ the settlement and not on what wasn’t. So, let’s say you hand the document over to Goldman after you put away the mother of internet sensation Missy Michaels, he could wave this agreement around on television and say Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson has, in effect, confessed to responsibility for a murder of her own. How do you think the press would play that? Especially after you ruined Daddy Say Yes.”

 

Commander Taylor entered the office, “the Michaels are walking the press plank if anyone’s interested.”

 

“Oh my god, you have to ask?” Gavin demanded as Commander Taylor turned the television on. Pope rolled his eyes, disgusted with the recent turn of events and excused himself from the room.

 

Gavin sat riveted to the screen as Beth Michaels was loaded into a prison van and the press dogged Missy. Brenda looked over to Sharon out of the corner of her eye. Without turning to her, Sharon slid her hand closer to Brenda’s and discreetly stroked Brenda’s pinky finger with her own.

 

Brenda smiled and suppressed a small laugh.

 

“Well,” Sharon said, standing. “I have to go finish a bit of paperwork.”

 

Brenda stood as well, “Captain, thank you for… your continued support… in this matter.”

 

Taylor kept his eyes straight forward on the press footage but was really straining to listen in on the women’s conversation.

 

Sharon nodded curtly. “Just doing my job, Chief.”

 

Even Taylor had to admit that that was an icy response. He almost felt sympathy for Brenda as Sharon excused herself without further comment. Brenda sank back down into her chair.

 

At the sound of the door closing Gavin turned around. “Oh… did Sharon leave?”

 

Brenda nodded, trying not to betray her emotions. “I’m going to…” Brenda stood again, suddenly wanting to be alone. “I have to do my paperwork.”

 

Gavin got up, “alright, well, dear,” he gathered his things into his briefcase. “I’ll meet with you in a couple of days to discuss the summary judgment.”

 

Brenda nodded.

 

**

 

“Oh good, you’re still here.” Brenda purred from the doorway.

 

Sharon grinned, “I was just on my way out. Good timing.”

 

Brenda sashayed into the room and shut the door behind her, leaning against it seductively. “I was thinking we could grab a bite to eat…”

 

“Sure,” Sharon smiled, slinging her purse over her shoulder and walking up to the blonde, “when?”

 

Brenda hooked her finger into Sharon’s belt loop and gave her a tug, “tonight… now…”

 

“I have plans.” Sharon whispered, her face close to Brenda’s.

 

“Cancel them,” Brenda leaned closer, brushing her lips against Sharon’s lightly.

 

“Oh, that would be very rude of me…” Sharon turned her head, pressing her cheek to Brenda’s to say softly in her ear, “cancelling a date on such short notice…”

 

Brenda pulled back abruptly, staring into Sharon’s face as though the woman had just drowned her kitty cat. “A date?! Two weeks after we broke up?!”

 

“ _Two weeks_ isn’t a respectable amount of time to wait?”

 

“We were together for six years! I think it’s only respectable to wait _at least_ six months.”

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re getting in my face about having a date when you moved out of my house and right into the apartment of your ex-boyfriend?”

 

Brenda gaped for a moment. “That is completely different! I’m not back together with him.”

 

“If you’re waiting out of respect to us you don’t have to.”

 

“I can’t believe you’re throwing us away.”

 

“ _You_ threw us away.” Sharon’s bottom lip quivered and she had to look away from Brenda. “I’m so sick of you doing things and then trying to blame them on me.”

 

“When have I ever?”

 

“Oh, you do not want to get into this.” Sharon sighed heavily, “you don’t need me to get into a laundry list of all of it right now. It would make me late.”

 

“You know what I’m sick of? I’m sick of you making mental notes every time I do something wrong, making notes in my file. Do you know how much pressure that is?”

 

“Well, you’re free. We’re not together anymore, no more pressure.” Sharon let out a shaky breath. “Why don’t you just get back together with Fritz or anyone who has never asked you to do anything or take responsibility for anything?”

 

“Maybe I will.”

 

“Please leave my office… _Chief_.” The two women locked eyes defiantly before Brenda broke the gaze and stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind her.

 

**

 

“You asked to see me, Mr. Lewis?” Angela knocked on the doorframe to the office of one of the named partners.

 

“Angela, yes, come in, have a seat.” Josh Lewis gestured toward the chair in front of his desk.

 

Angela sat, feeling somewhat apprehensive. In the time that she’d worked for the firm she had scarcely interacted with the man at all and had only had a personal conversation with him once, for two minutes, when she was interviewing for the position.

 

“Gavin Baker has been filling me in on what a help you’ve been to him recently.”

 

“Oh, of course he has.”

 

“He’s not the only one,” Josh continued. “I’ve been hearing a lot of good things about you from all of the partners. You make yourself available when someone needs help and you don’t go around bragging to everyone and his brother. Humility is an excellent trait to have, Angela, but I want to start hearing from you. Don’t let your humility be to your detriment.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Angela nodded.

 

“Have you settled the Morgan-Emerson dispute?” He looked up at her and she nodded, “good, I want you on the Murphy-Gomez deposition, I want to see what you can do. Peter can fill you in on the trial so far.”

 

There was a knock on the door and Josh smiled and beckoned the visitor to enter. “Oh, I’m sorry, you’re in a meeting,” an all-too familiar voice apologized.

 

Angela whipped around and stared at Sharon with horror. “Hi Angela, it’s nice to…” Sharon trailed off upon seeing her daughter seething. “I can wait outside.”

 

“No, it’s okay, we were finished.” He smiled at Angela and said, “we’ll touch base again tomorrow.”

 

“Thank you, Mr. Lewis.” Angela nodded to her boss and giving Sharon a dirty look as she passed her.

 

Josh reached for his jacket when his phone rang. He looked down at the caller id, “I’m sorry, Sharon, this is about a case. I have to take this.”

 

“Take your time. I’ll be outside.” Sharon closed the office door behind her.

 

“Mom, will you come down to my office for a minute?” Angela asked tightly.

 

“To be honest, dear, I’m really tempted to say no.” Sharon laughed uneasily. “That look you’re giving me is making me nervous…”

 

“Don’t date my boss. I am begging you.”

 

“Josh and I are old friends, we used to date in undergrad.” Sharon explained. “I ran into him last week when I came by to get you for lunch and he asked me out.”

 

“I don’t think I should have to explain to you on how many levels it is wrong for you to date my boss… but since, obviously, I do, one, if anyone catches wind of this it’ll make me look bad, like my mother is trading sexual favors to get me promoted.”

 

Sharon let out a peal of laughter, “oh, Angel, you’re being ridiculous.”

 

“Two, if you break his heart it could be very bad for my career.”

 

“You’re getting ahead of yourself. We’re just going out for dinner, we’re not eloping. We’re just old friends.”

 

“Three, if he has certain expectations about your evening and you don’t… ‘meet those expectations,’ that could be bad for my career.”

 

Sharon scoffed, “Angela Arianna Raydor, that is _enough_.” She planted her hands firmly on her hips. “I know that we are close and have always been very open with each other but I am still your mother and who I choose to date and what I do or don’t do with my dates is my own business. You can’t possibly be selfish enough to think that this is about you.”

 

“Four, you’re using _my_ boss to scratch a rebound itch. That it is completely inappropriate. You say you’re fine with the fact that Brenda broke up with you, that it was a giant weight off of your shoulders but I know you well enough to know that it is killing you. That not only because you love her but because you can’t stand to fail at anything. You’re resparking this whatever it is with Mr. Lewis because you want to reassure yourself that you’re still desirable and that it was _Brenda’s_ deficiency that led to the end of your relationship and not your own.” Angela snarled. Sharon blinked at her in shock.

 

“ _Angela_ , I…” she stuttered.

 

“Sometimes I just wish you liked yourself more.”

 

The door to Josh’s office opened before Sharon had a chance to rebut. “Sorry about that, ready to go, Sharon?”

 

“Have fun, mom.” Angela smiled sweetly at her mother. “I’ll see you tomorrow, sir.”

 

Sharon watched Angela walk away and let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “I made us a reservation at Mistral in Studio City, if that’s alright with you.” Josh said, resting his hand on her lower back.

 

“Sounds great.”

 

“Great,” he pulled her closer as they walked toward the exit. “It is a crime that it’s been so long.” He announced with fervor, continuing to talk as Sharon let Angela’s words sink in and thinking back to the pain in Brenda’s eyes as she stood against the door of her office.

 

She didn’t necessarily think that Angela was right about everything and she didn’t think Brenda was right about everything. If she didn’t go out with Josh, at this point, she’d be doing it for Angela. If instead she went out tonight with Brenda, she’d be compromising her self-respect. When Brenda was frustrated she tended to lash out and act emotionally instead of rationally, which how Sharon knew that Brenda was as guilty as sin in the lawsuit. She also knew that Brenda only said hurtful things when she felt vulnerable.

 

Sharon didn’t think that she should just forgive everything hurtful she said or did just because Brenda was vulnerable. Sharon was vulnerable sometimes too and when she was vulnerable she never made herself feel more in control by attempting to take someone else’s away.

 

Brenda would say that meant Sharon had a martyr complex.

 

Sharon didn’t think that she was out of line to want an apology from Brenda. Sharon didn’t think she was out of line to want to catch up with an old friend.


	9. Fresh Pursuit

Sharon sat down in front of the monitor and cleared her throat, already knowing that the video would be hard to watch. It was one thing to see a dead body and it was another thing entirely to see the death – even on video. The video started up and Brenda’s interview began, there was a knock on the door and Brenda got up from the table, scolding the suspect as she left. Then, alone in the room, Kyle removed the gun from his pocket and checked the clip.

 

Brenda and Buzz chose that moment to enter the viewing room. Sharon didn’t look up at them.

 

“Kyle!” Brenda called from the other side of the door on the video.

 

“This bullet was meant for you.” Kyle slumped down into the chair and fiddled resigned with the gun. He put the barrel of the gun to the underside of his chin.

 

“Kyle? Kyle!” Brenda shouted.

 

The gunshot resounded from the monitor and Sharon stared stone-faced at the gruesome image.

 

“Thank you.” Sharon nodded to her underlings to leave. As they left the room Sharon pulled her glasses off and looked up at Brenda with red eyes that were trying really hard not to cry, “are you okay?”

 

In that moment, Brenda was so much more focused on the intensity of Sharon’s concern that the fear and grief she’d felt moments before seemed trivial. “I-I think so, yes.”

 

“From what I just saw you nearly _died_.” Sharon cursed that Buzz was there, more necessity to remain professional. She cleared her throat and put her glasses back on. “Okay. Who else in your division was with you?”

 

“As you could see from the recording, I was alone.”

 

Sharon tilted her head at Brenda with skepticism. “Someone knocked on the door to your interview room and pulled you out.”

 

“I did that, Captain, Chief Johnson didn’t have her earwig with her and I had breaking information from Lt. Provenza.” Buzz piped up and Brenda looked relieved.

 

Sharon glanced from Buzz to Brenda and then back to Buzz, “would you mind leaving us alone please?” Buzz looked to his superior for confirmation that he should go. He looked back to Sharon and then exited.

 

Sharon got up from the desk and Brenda pushed the door shut and turned the lock. “Chief, you know it’s always risky to leave a suspect alone in an interview room.” Sharon said, needing to get the official statements out of the way before she could allow herself to get more personal.

 

“I know procedure wasn’t properly followed,” Brenda’s voice cracked as she spoke and looked down, “and it’s a bad day to have it happen. I wish I’d done better but…”

 

Sharon pulled Brenda against her. Any view of them from outside the room was obscured by the door that they were standing directly in front of. Brenda knew she was getting this hug because no one else could see them, but on the other hand it was in the middle of an investigation; Sharon wasn’t going to change in a day.

 

Brenda held fistfuls of Sharon’s blazer as she pressed herself as hard as she could against the older woman, drawing strength from her. Sharon slipped her fingers into Brenda’s hair. “I’m just so glad you’re okay. It’s one thing to hear about what happened,” she whispered, still fighting tears, “but actually seeing the real danger you were in…”

 

“Please… I’m trying really hard not to cry again…” Brenda pleaded, “it’s been a long day already and it’s only eleven.”

 

“I know.” Sharon said softly, nuzzling her blonde waves, still holding her tight. “I just… I love you. And I’m always going to worry about you.”

 

Brenda squeezed her eyes shut. “Seriously, shut up.” Her bottom lip quivered and as she pulled away from Sharon she pressed her lips tenderly to her cheek. “I’m lookin’ for someone who’s a lot worse than me and I’m just askin’ for this day to see if I can find him. Just this day, that’s all I’m askin.’”

 

“I can absolutely do that. I’ve got seventy-two hours to file this report. So I will just resume this part of the investigation after that and in the meantime I will interview…” Sharon had to pause to make sure her anger was in check, “every _single_ officer who had charge of that suspect between the crime scene and your interview room and _castrate_ them. Where can I find the Deputy Sheriff who took Mr. Hayes into custody?”

 

“Uh, Commander Taylor’s keepin’ track of him.” Brenda wiped at her eyes.

 

“Okay.” Sharon nodded, preparing herself to reenter the room full of people.

 

“Thank you, Captain. Thanks… I love you, too.” Brenda smiled adoringly at Sharon.

 

“Okay.” Sharon ducked her head shyly as she pushed the door open and stepped out into the bullpen. Brenda had always managed to make her feel like a blushing school girl and now that their relationship had come to an end, she was back to being a giddy mess.

 

Sharon was ready to find everyone in the chain of custody and pull their balls out through their throats for putting Brenda in danger.

 

Brenda stood in the doorway watching Sharon’s swinging hips walking toward Commander Taylor.

 

**

 

“So… you didn’t give the suspect the gun he shot himself with, did you?” Gavin demanded with frustration as he marched up to Brenda. The hour and a half that had passed had done nothing to calm her nerves and Gavin’s sarcasm only succeeded in twisting the knife.

 

“Gavin, that’s not funny!” Brenda pouted, trying not to let a fresh wave of tears get the better of her.

 

“You know what else isn’t funny? You having another in-custody death without informing your attorney.” Gavin’s eyes were narrowed in annoyance

 

“Turrell Baylor wasn’t an in-custody death.”

 

“Well, that’s not what Goldman is saying and thirty minutes ago he requested a continuance based on relevant new information which he possessed and I did not.”

 

“ _Goldman_ know about this already? How?”

 

Gavin rolled his eyes and rubbed his temples. “From the leak in the division which you refuse to believe exists. Oh my god! I was on the verge of having this entire case thrown out. Now it’s up in the air! Where’s Captain Raydor?”

 

“She’s back in her office. Why?”

 

“I have to talk to her before another lawsuit is filed against you by the family of your newest dead suspect. You know, if you could afford it, I could drop everyone else in my practice and defend you for a living.”

 

“You know that man was going to kill me!” Brenda choked up.

 

“Maybe he thought he’d end up representing you in court.” Gavin deadpanned as he walked away. That woman could bat her eyelashes and tear up all she wanted but Gavin was not playing into it this time. He needed to go and talk to Sharon and have a much needed reality check.

 

Up in IA he weaved around the milling personnel to get to the far end of the room of desks in the little darkened corner that Sharon Raydor called home. He knocked on the doorframe.

 

Sharon looked up from her computer. “Gavin, come in.” She smiled.

 

“Back at the office sometimes I go to Angela’s door and knock on it and she tells me to go away, so this is a refreshing change.” He sat down across the desk from her. He scrutinized her for a moment before announcing, “you’ve been crying…”

 

Sharon took a deep breath and leaned back in her chair. “Would you mind shutting the door?”

 

“Sure…” Gavin got up and shut the door and went around to Sharon’s side of the desk, kneeling down in front of her and rubbing her shoulder. “What’s wrong, Sharon?”

 

“I know I’m being ridiculous…” Sharon tried to play it off with a chuckle. “I just… I’ve had to see that video _three_ times. I have a really hard time with the deaths of young people. I always find myself thinking ‘their poor mother,’ which is really just my own insecurity with my children’s mortality.”

 

“That’s understandable.” Gavin sympathized.

 

“And that compounded with the fact that he only killed himself because he didn’t kill Brenda. The ethical dilemma is torturous; I feel _glad_ that Brenda’s unharmed which implies that I’m glad it was him instead of her.” Sharon reached to her desk to grab a kleenex, “which I know is a completely normal response and Brenda is someone very close to me so it’s natural that I’m glad she’s alive. I just can’t help but think… oh, his poor mother! She’ll never see her son’s face again… and I’m _happy_ right now.”

 

“The more you talk the more family resemblance I see between you and Angela.”

 

Sharon laughed, “I shouldn’t be burdening you with this. This was inappropriate and unprofessional of me.”

 

“Hey, enough of that talk, we’re friends, aren’t we?”

 

Sharon nodded.

 

“You’re an extremely compassionate person and you don’t let a lot of people see this side of you which makes it your cross to bear alone.” He stood, “I think you need a hug.”

 

Sharon leaned into him, resting her head against his chest, the hug made somewhat awkward by the fact that she was still seated. Gavin wrapped his arms around her shoulders and she wrapped her arms around his waist.

 

After a long moment of embracing Sharon pulled back, “thanks.” She wiped at her eyes and nodded, “I needed that.”

 

“Come on, let’s go get a coffee.”

 

“I can’t, I have work to do.”

 

“So do I, this is a working coffee. We need to talk about a report that officially washes Brenda’s hands of the whole debacle. Obviously, in the interest of justice I can’t ask you to just make it go away if there was fault on Brenda’s part and you can’t just say ‘we used to sleep together, she wouldn’t hurt a fly,’ you know, considering she did shoot someone to death just last year.”

 

“You’re not that good at pep talks.” Sharon huffed.

 

“What I was trying to imply is that we both care about her and you being the FID Captain and Professional Standards Officer your credo is objectivity whereas mine is keeping the feisty little blonde out of trouble by any means possible.” Gavin smiled charmingly, “even if it means treating you to a venti caramel macchiato with whipped cream and an extra shot of espresso for a little oomf.”

 

Sharon chuckled, standing and grabbing her blazer from the back of her chair, “alright, you’ve convinced me.”

 

**

 

Gavin was lingering outside of the courtroom waiting for Sharon. The brunette startled when she almost ran into him. “Something wrong?”

 

He shook his head, “just wanted to ask you how you were doing. I know this could be hard”

 

“Shouldn’t you be giving this speech to Brenda?” Sharon sighed.

 

“I think Agent Howard’s taking care of that for me…” Gavin said pointedly, knowing that Fritz Howard was a bit of a sore spot for Sharon. Upon seeing pain pass through her eyes he immediately regretted it. “Besides, I may be paid to care about Brenda but I care about you for free.”

 

“You’re a very sweet man, Gavin.”

 

“All the anxiety, all of the sleepless nights, all of the build-up… it ends now.” Gavin continued, “and no one knows better than me that knowing can be harder than not knowing.”

 

Sharon squeezed her eyes shut. “I can’t have this conversation right now.”

 

“Just as well, the judge is delivering his ruling now.” Gavin pushed the door open and Sharon walked in. Brenda was already seated at the defense table, Fritz behind her. Sharon squeezed by in front of Fritz and took her seat next to him.

 

Sharon looked over at Fritz and caught his eye and they sat there with their eyes locked defiantly. It was one of the first times they’d set aside their differences in favor of a common interest in the six years since Sharon had stolen Brenda right from under Fritz’s nose.

 

“Please be seated. The Family of Turrell Baylor vs. the City of Los Angeles, Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson et al. we’re back on the record.” The judge announced, causing everyone in the room to hold their breath. “Before my ruling, I’d like it known that whatever crimes Mr. Baylor may have committed, he was entitled to be tried in a court, not the streets of L.A. Mr. Goldman, the lack of evidence supporting a central thesis behind your pleading leaves me no choice but to grant the defense’s motion for summary judgment. Case dismissed.”

 

The gavel banged and Brenda felt her whole body relax. She turned around and locked eyes with Sharon. Sharon was overcome as she gazed into Brenda’s blue eyes. In that moment, Sharon wanted to throw out everything she ever thought of as ‘professional’ or ‘appropriate’ and leap over the divider and pull Brenda into the most passionate kiss ever.

 

Brenda turned her attention back to Gavin and the moment was lost. Fritz and the members of Major Crimes stood to congratulate Brenda and Gavin and Sharon slipped out of the room.

 

**

 

Sharon was leaning against a desk in the bullpen, feeling out of place at the Major Crimes victory party when Flynn came up to her and handed her a  plastic flute of champagne. “Hey.”

 

“Hi.” She said as she accepted the flute.

 

“We haven’t always seen eye to eye… and it’s not really anything personal… it’s just in a cop’s blood to be distrustful of IA.” Flynn shrugged.

 

“I’m a cop, too, you know.”

 

Flynn smiled, “sometimes we forget that. Thanks for reminding us you’re on our side.”

 

“Alright, don’t go getting emotional on me.” Sharon sipped the bubbly liquid and made a face. “Oh, cheap champagne. Is there anything worse than celebrating an amazing triumph with really bad champagne? What are you drinking?”

 

“Sparkling cider.”

 

“That sounds good… can you sneak me some of that?”

 

“You rebel.” Flynn teased as he went to his desk to grab her a glass of cider from his reserve.

 

Brenda and Gavin entered the room. “Told you I was going to win.” Gavin grinned.

 

Brenda hugged him gratefully. “Might’ve told me how.”

 

“Well, then you would have just told the leak and then where would we be?”

 

Sharon grabbed a champagne cup from the table and brought it over to Brenda. Their fingers brushed as the cup changed hands and Brenda smiled adoringly at Sharon.

 

“Everyone, to Gavin!” Flynn announced.

 

“To Gavin!” Brenda smiled.

 

“Congratulations, Chief.” Sharon turned to Brenda.

 

“Listen, I just wanna thank you for… standing by me, I know it hasn’t been easy.” Brenda sipped her champagne, trying not to show her ear to ear smile.

 

“Well, if my job was easy they’d let Will Pope do it.” Sharon joked and Brenda almost spat out her champagne. “Besides, I have a lot of practic putting up with you.”

 

“Well thank you, Sharon…I’m very grateful to you, I really am.”

 

“You’re welcome.” Sharon and Brenda locked eyes and Brenda let out a slightly shaky breath. The events that had led to the strain on their relationship and their resulting break-up had finally reached its end. Brenda didn’t want to share the victory party with anyone other than Sharon and a bottle of Merlot. 

 

Pope approached and looked at Brenda wearily. “Will, what’s the matter? Something wrong?”

 

“I’m not sure, but, uh, I need you to talk to someone without losing your temper. Think you can do that?”

 

“Well, I can’t make any promises but I’ll try.” Brenda glanced back at Sharon before following Will down the hallway to the conference room.

 

Sharon leaned back against the desk again and Flynn nudged her shoulder to hand her the cider. Sharon smiled, “thanks.”

 

Sharon watched Flynn walk away and looked over at Gavin talking with Fritz and she suddenly felt conspicuously out of place. She downed the cider and took her leave. She had a report to write anyway.

 

**

 

After a couple hours she emerged from her office, having finished the report and emailing off her final draft to all of the higher ups, she looked out into the row of desks and was surprised to see one occupied. The staff of IA tended to knock off on time anywhere between five and seven and by seven thirty if there was anyone still around it was usually because they had just come in for a night investigation.

 

As Sharon’s office door closed the person at the desk turned and Sharon almost laughed. “You made me think one of my people was working late. I thought hell must have frozen over and I’d have to do all those things I’d only do if hell froze over.”

 

The closer Sharon got she realized Brenda had been crying.

 

“What’s wrong?” Sharon leaned on the desk and looked into Brenda’s reddened eyes. She reached for her and tenderly tucked a curled lock of blonde hair behind her ear. “Why aren’t you at your victory party?”

 

“Because there’s nothing to celebrate. I think I’m really done for this time.” Brenda sobbed.

 

“Sweetie… come here…” Sharon held her arms out for her and Brenda pushed herself out of the chair with a sigh and folded herself into Sharon’s arms. “What happened?”

 

“I want to get out of this building. I’ve been waiting for you to come out…”

 

“I’ve been out since 1985.” Sharon teased.

 

Brenda snorted and held onto Sharon tighter. “Can we go somewhere?”

 

“Where?”

 

“I just wanna go home. Take me back to the house.”

 

“My house?”

 

“ _Our house_.” Brenda sniffled.

 

“Okay, sweetie,” Sharon turned Brenda around but kept one arm around her as she led her toward the exit.

 

**

 

Once through the door Brenda pinned Sharon against the door and captured her lips in a bruising kiss. Sharon moaned into the kiss and Brenda took her by the hand and led her over to the stairs and they ascended, beelining for the master bedroom.  

 

They fell onto the bed and Brenda was immediately working to divest Sharon of her clothing. As she pushed open Sharon’s blouse, bearing her lace bra-clad breasts to Brenda’s gaze her eyes welled with tears.

 

Sharon had been waiting for Brenda’s emotional break as soon as she’d taken in her reddened eyes. “It’s okay,” Sharon said in a soft voice, “we don’t have to do this.”

 

“I want to.” Brenda pouted, burying her face in Sharon’s neck and raking her teeth over the sensitive skin.

 

Sharon shrugged her off, pushing her back until she could look into her eyes. Brenda wiped away the tears and looked away as they started falling harder.

 

“I don’t have sex with crying people, it’s a personal rule.” Sharon ran her fingers through Brenda’s hair. “Here’s what we’re going to do, we’re going to get naked and take a nice, long, relaxing shower and we’re going to get into our comfy pyjamas and we’re going to talk about it.”

 

Brenda sobbed, “I don’t even have pjs here anymore.”

 

“I’ll lend you a set. How about the pink plaid cotton pants with lacy black cami?”

 

Brenda sniffled but nodded, “okay.”

 

“Okay,” Sharon said soothingly, coaxing her up and towards the ensuite.

 

**

 

Brenda awoke in the middle of the night and smiled against the bare shoulder that she was pressed against to. Her body was molded around Sharon’s sleeping form and she couldn’t help but feel like maybe everything would be okay after all.

 

Brenda gave Sharon a gentle squeeze and Sharon pushed back against her and let out a soft mm. Brenda smiled and drifted back to sleep.

 

In the morning Sharon got up, peppering sweet kisses all over Brenda’s face before disappearing from the room. Brenda grinned and stretched out, waking up leisurely as she breathed in the delicious mingling scents of Sharon Raydor. The slight undertones of lavender, the expensive shampoo, the understated but intoxicatingly sensual perfume and a hint of sweat.

 

Brenda didn’t ever want to wake up anywhere other than Sharon’s arms ever again.

 

Taking the stairs two at a time, feeling ready to take on the world again, she found Sharon cooking breakfast in the kitchen. Brenda stepped up behind her and pressed into her. Sharon grinned, “I’m making pancakes.”

 

“I see that.” Brenda purred, “anything I can do to help?” Her hand snaked around Sharon’s hip and slid under the waistband of Sharon’s pyjama pants and plunged into the dark curls.

 

“ _Oh!_ ” Sharon exclaimed, gripping the handle of the spatula. “That’s… going to make me burn the pancakes…”

 

“I love this, I love you,” Brenda murmured into Sharon’s shoulder. Her hands both slid over the brunette’s taut stomach and up over her ribs before she hugged her tightly. “I love you.”

 

“I love you, too,” Sharon shifted in her arms, “would you like to set the table?”

 

Brenda grabbed two plates from the cupboard and set them down on the table, turning back to Sharon, distracted from her task by the bubbling emotions. “Yesterday when Buzz stopped me from opening the door and I realized that the only person I wanted by my side was you and it was a big mistake to ever have doubted that. After I almost got shot in that house… I was rattled… and when you showed up you didn’t hug me or ask me how I was and I was just upset. I overreacted. I know that if there’s one person in the world who would always love me and always care about me… it would be you and I’m sorry for the last month… breaking up with you was the biggest mistake I’ve made in as far back as I can remember.”

 

“Then you have a short memory. Turrell Baylor?”

 

“I did not kill him. I did not care what happened to him. If it hadn’t turned into a legal nightmare I’d do it again every time.” Brenda stepped closer to Sharon, “did you hear what I said? Breaking up with you was the worst thing I’ve ever done and I wish I could take it back.”

 

Sharon shrugged, “but you can’t.” She slipped another pancake onto the plate next to the stove. “What you did and what you said hurt me. The first near death experience made you realize you _couldn’t_ be with me, the second made you realize you couldn’t live without me.”

 

“The first one was a fluke… and I wasn’t able to put us behind me, I’m always going to be drawn to you.”

 

“I just feel like I can’t live my life waiting for you to have the near death experience that tells you you can’t be with me again.”

 

“I’ll take an administrative job. The city’s dying to get me off the streets anyway.”

 

Sharon shook her head, “you don’t have to be on the job to have a near death experience and, besides, you’d end up hating me for taking your job away from you.”

 

“I wouldn’t, the only thing I want in the whole world is you!” She insisted, feeling tears taking over her eyes again.

 

“You’re just overwhelmed. The outcome of the trial, the threat of federal lawsuit, sleeping in our bed, the smell of pancakes… you just think you want to come back to this… because I take care of you.”

 

“That’s not why I want to come back. Fritz takes care of me and I don’t want to be with him. I want to be with _you_.” Brenda insisted, “and I’m not even going to get jealous or broody about the fact that you’ve been going out with someone else because I broke up with you and I’m coming to you with my hat in my hand, Sharon, I love you.”

 

“Brenda, stop, please.” Sharon transferred the pancakes to the kitchen table. “Why don’t you have some pancakes?”

 

“Don’t try to distract me with food.” Brenda took Sharon’s hands. “Are you listening to what I’m saying?”

 

Sharon nodded, looking away when her eyes welled up. “I’m listening, Brenda, I just… you’re the most schizophrenic lover I’ve ever had. On again, off again, on again, and on and on and on… forever.”

 

“So what? You’re going to marry Josh Lewis just to spite me?”

 

“Not going to get jealous or broody, my ass. I thought we agreed never to use our lapd access to check up on each other.”

 

“Gavin gabbed.”

 

Sharon rolled her eyes, “I’m not interested in getting married again and I certainly wouldn’t marry someone just to spite you.”

 

“Sharon, I can’t imagine my life without you. Please.”

 

“ _Stop_.”

 

“ _Please, please!_ ”

 

Sharon held her hands up in resignation. “I’m not doing this with you anymore.” She pulled away from Brenda and grabbed her keys from the side table on the way out the door.

 

“Sharon, wait!” Brenda ran after her but by the time she reached the driveway Sharon’s crown vic was already pulling away. Brenda heaved a heavy sigh but resolved not to let her morale drop, even in the face of all the recent adversity.


	10. Necessary Evil

When Provenza had called her she’d been contemplating taking a bath and calling it an early night. She threw her clothes back on and put on her pink trench and headed out the door.

 

Sharon’s house was not on the way but she made it a point to swing by. The house was dark and empty like it had been for the last month, the for sale sign was still outside on the lawn, swaying lazily in the southern California night air. Every time she drove past she hoped that it had all been a bad dream.

 

She wished that the last six months had been a bad dream. The stupid lawsuit and how it had put a strain on her relationship with Sharon. How stupid Brenda had been and how much she regretted saying nasty things to Sharon. She couldn’t even remember what she’d been thinking when she broke up with her, except now she knew that she couldn’t live without her. Some mornings it actually hurt to get up without Sharon, some mornings Brenda found herself crying.

 

They’d barely spoken since the morning Sharon stormed out of the kitchen. It was the last time she’d been in the house.

 

Sharon pulled up to the crime scene and sat in her car for a moment, taking in a few deep breaths. She was starting to think she’d require the services of the department anger management counselor if she had to put up with Major Crimes’ bullshit for much longer. She was probably going to punch Provenza or Flynn at some point before the fucking federal case was over. They didn’t particularly like that she was there but at least Mike, Julio and David weren’t assholes to her all the time.

 

She got out of the car and walked up to the crime scene tent and took the log from the uniform outside and started looking over the log and picking out which ways they’ve fallen short of total compliance with regulation. It was the same every time. The first person to show up usually thinks to sign in and after that everyone always forgets. _Especially_ Brenda Leigh.

 

Sharon starts filling in the missing information and remembers her mother trying to convince her to go to stenography school instead of joining the academy – and at this point she wonders what the difference really would have been anyway.

 

“Has anyone notified Deputy Chief Johnson?” Sharon asked, looking up from the sign in log.

 

No sooner had she said her name did Brenda pop up from behind the car. “Yes, they have, Captain, I’m sorry, were you lookin’ for me?”

 

Sharon smirked, “Chief Johnson, you didn’t sign into the log when you arrived.”

 

“I didn’t? Lieutenant, when did I arrive?”

 

“From Atlanta or tonight?” Provenza joked. The two women  “Uh, she came with Gabriel.

 

Sharon shakes her head minutely, “it’s okay, Chief, I’ve got it.”

 

“I’m so sorry, that is the very last time I’ll forget to sign in.”

 

“It’s okay. I’ve got it.”

 

Brenda really was trying. She really didn’t want to make Sharon’s life more difficult; if Sharon associated difficulty in her professional life with Brenda then she wouldn’t have a great chance at winning her back anytime in the near future. She wanted to win her back before she went to prison, if the federal lawsuit went sour.

 

Damnit, she should have proposed to her before prop 8. If she’d married her then she could have conjugal visits in prison.

 

“I wasn’t asking for a lesson in elementary ballistics, Lieutenant. I simply want to know if you are assuming a single shooter.” Sharon’s voice jarred Brenda out of her thoughts, “Is that what you’re doing?” Sharon tried not to pull any punches but she would not put up with being treated like an idiot. Treated like a burden, fine, treated like a bureaucrat, fine, treated like an intentionally vindictive harpy, _fine_. But being treated like an idiot was crossing a line.

 

Flynn looked chastised and said, “uh… yeah…”

 

“Okay.” Sharon resumed writing.  

 

**

 

“Eight shots were fired at a TSA agent as he was driving home from work two nights ago. That’s why we’re involved.”

 

“That’s why you _were_ involved.” Brenda snapped, not backing down.

 

“Excuse me, Agent Howard, did you find the casings from the shooting?” Sharon interjected.

 

“Yes. And what do you mean were involved?”

 

“Well, I’m the one with the victim!” Brenda huffed.

 

“And were the casings entered in NIBIN?”

 

“Yes, captain, and by the way, I don’t work for you.” Fritz growled.

 

“You do work for me, Agent Howard, everyone involved in this whole fucking lawsuit works for me. If you want to have your asses handed to you on a platter, that is absolutely fine by me, Agent Howard. So, please, continue to shoot off at the mouth. Please.”

 

“This is not your case, it’s mine.” Fritz continued with Brenda, pulling Sharon out of her day dream. Oh yes, Sharon would really like to stick it to Agent Howard.

 

“Since when does the FBI care about high school principals?”

 

“A TSA agent was fired upon!”

 

Sharon did so love to see them fight. She had attempted to wash her hands of Brenda Leigh Johnson once and for all. A hopeless pursuit, to be sure, she loved her and she would always love her, but she was doing her best. Brenda had left Fritz’s bed twice now to be with Sharon and she knew that that was an impenetrable barrier to them ever having an actually pleasant conversation.

 

“Driving the same type of car as my victim so unless you think the shooter just really hates German cars, your TSA agent was mistaken for my principal”

 

“Or your principal was mistaken for my TSA agent.”

 

“Oh, now you’re just being silly” Brenda rolled her eyes. Fritz looked ready to pounce again but Fritz poked his head in.

 

“Chief, Gabriel’s ready.”

 

“Thank you, lieutenant.”

 

“I’m not leaving.” Fritz said stubbornly.

 

“Well you can stay here as long as you like but it’s still my murder and if you don’t go home soon and get some rest you’re going to end up with a very bad case of the grumpy uglies.” She stared pointedly at Fritz, daring him to argue with her. Her style in an argument was usually to make the other person feel inferior and it appeared to be working as Fritz slumped himself into a corner.

 

“Look,” she continued, “this is the second time someone shot at a silver BMW on that corner, there is someone running around with a semi-automatic weapon, my first responsibility is to take him or her off the street… What is it?” She asked Sharon with some concern at the heavy sigh the brunette heaved in her direction.

 

“Asking all these questions at every one of your crime scenes for the past two months, I am feeling less like a Captain and more like a Hall Monitor every day. I understand the importance of the federal lawsuit you're facing, but I am not convinced that my constant presence in your Division is necessary.” There was a pause during which the two women stared into each other’s eyes. Brenda ached to tell Sharon how sorry she was for everything. She wanted to tell her that she knew that everything was her fault and now Sharon was the one suffering for it. She didn’t even want to try and tell her how hard she was trying to abide by all the rules that she’d never really bothered to learn, she just wanted Sharon to know that she was sorry. But Sharon didn’t want to hear it anymore, she’d made that pretty clear. Before Brenda could respond, Sharon added, “and there is something else. There's something else that I've been meaning to tell you –”

 

“Chief, the interview’s started.”

 

Brenda loved Buzz, she truly did, but in this moment she wanted to throttle him. She made an apologetic face at Sharon and sat down, accepting the headphones she was handed.

 

Sharon sighed, watching the mouths moving on the monitors, not taking in anything said at this point. She’d been up pretty close to all night and she didn’t give a shit in that particular moment what happened to anyone because all she wanted was a shower, a quick nap and a cup of coffee so strong it might just wear all the enamel off her teeth.

 

She had one more stop in the building to make before she got any of those things.

 

In other relationships dedication to the job was almost always an issue but it had never been an issue with Brenda and Sharon. They both worked more than they should and they always appreciated the time they had together. Sharon never expected to be put before Brenda’s job because she knew Brenda wouldn’t be put before her own.

 

Usually she respected Brenda’s ability to focus so single-mindedly on something. Usually she respected Brenda’s ability to keep their personal and professional lives separate.

 

But maybe, just once, Sharon wanted to ask someone else to wait. She took the doorknob in her hand, turning it slowly and slipped, unnoticed, out of the room.

 

**

 

“According to their logs you have major crimes doing everything to the letter.” Pope said very matter-of-factly.

 

“But if I may be frank continuing to audit every investigation Chief Johnson undertakes is an embarrassment to everyone involved. It's an insult to her; demeaning to my rank - not to mention a waste of money.”

 

“Captain we’re trying to avoid adding more plaintiffs to this federal lawsuit against us which could end up costing the city and this department, like, 50 million dollars. So believe me, your efforts here are not a waste of money.” Pope narrowed his eyes.

 

“If I may, sir.” Taylor stepped in and turned to Sharon, “Captain, you’re not just auditing major crimes, you’re supposed to be finding the leak in their division. We have to cut off Goldman’s source of inside information”

 

“And since chief Johnson doesn’t seem to be taking this very seriously, I’m counting on you to fix that.” Pope agreed.

 

Sharon stared at him for a moment, barely able to keep the contempt from her face. Here she was, face to face with the second man in twenty minutes who was still bitter about having lost Brenda to Sharon.

 

“I’ve had a job offer. Director of internal threats and corporate security at the Los Angeles convention center.”

 

“You’re quitting?” Pope’s eyes widened as he stared at Sharon.

 

“I'm eligible to collect my Captain's pension and I think it's time for me to work some place where people might be glad to see me.” Sharon had to school her features to keep from betraying how hurt she really felt.

 

“Captain… do not feel that you are unappreciated.”

 

“I walk into a room, it goes silent. I can’t say _hello_ to anyone outside the professional standards bureau without provoking a defensive; between that and a few things in my personal life I feel that it’s time-“

 

Pope interrupted her. “Captain, you cannot retire right now. No one else is nearly as familiar with this federal case against us. With all due respect to your issues, Major crimes is run by a deputy Chief and three lieutenants, replacing you with a lower ranking officer is… it’s not even possible. I have no one else for this job.”

 

She shook her head. “Can’t do it anymore, I’m sorry, sir.”

 

“Alright… alright… When the promotions freeze is over I will make you a commander.”

 

“Wow. That’s quite an offer, Captain.” Taylor was not particularly good at hiding his annoyance at the prospect of Sharon achieving his rank.

 

“Thank you, chief, but I feel I’ve had enough.” Sharon shook her head, her gaze cast downward at the floor and her hands firmly planted in her deep blazer pockets.

 

“Will you at least give me a few weeks before you make this decision and before your notice is final, I ask that you treat this issue of a leak like the crisis that it is.”

 

Sharon nodded curtly before turning and leaving the room.

 

**

 

Sharon’s phone rang. She picked it up and glanced at the screen, trying to keep her eye on the road as well. She accepted the call and held the phone to her ear, “hi Angel.”

 

“Hey mom, bad time?”

 

“No, I’m just on my way to serve a warrant.”

 

“You shouldn’t be talking on your phone while driving.”

 

“Remember our deal? You don’t try to mother me and I won’t try to baby you?” Sharon reminded with an air of playfulness.

 

“You sound like you’re in a pretty good mood.”

 

“I’ve… gotten a few things off my chest.” Sharon said, then admitted, “I’m trying to keep my mood up because I’m not looking forward to this search. These people are just absolutely incorrigible. Why they can’t understand that what I’m doing is for their own good is beyond me.”

 

Angela laughed, “same reason why we never believed you when you told us broccoli was for our own good.”

 

“Well, lot of good it did me, you still don’t eat broccoli.” Sharon glanced at her gps, “I’m on the street now, was there something specific you needed?”

 

“No, just called to see how you were.”

 

“I… I’m fine.”

 

“You don’t so sure.”

 

“Is anyone ever really sure?” Sharon asked, putting the car in park and cutting the engine. “I’m just having a rough time at work, but things can’t be terrible forever. I love you, Angel.”

 

“Love you too, mom. You can call me whenever.”

 

“Thanks, bye.” Sharon ended the call and slipped the Blackberry into her pocket. She strode up the lawn where the gaggle of officers awaited her and the impending warrant being driven there by Flynn.

 

The group fell silent as Sharon approached and joined the ranks which came as no surprise.

 

Flynn pulled up and jumped out of his car, trotting to join them, “here’s your warrant,” he announced, handing the folded paper to Sharon.

 

“Okay, remember, we’re only searching through Coach Carr’s house for _trophies_.” Sharon said pointedly.

 

“Stolen trophies.” Provenza rolled his eyes.

 

“LAPD search warrant!” Gabriel yelled before they forcibly entered the house.

 

“Please let Buzz document everything before you start tearing up the house!” Sharon called, feeling like she was yelling ‘please clean up this mess before your grandmother gets here!’ at her kids.

 

“Okay, now remember, you can hide a gun anywhere you can hide a trophy so if you come across the weapon, it’s legal to grab it.” Provenza instructed the team that was tearing through the house, as though anyone was really keeping up the pretense of looking for the trophies.

 

“We’re going to go out here and keep looking for what we came here to find.”

 

“Trophies! Trophies, Lieutenant!” Sharon scolded. Was it really, really so much to ask that they not admit on camera that they’re conducting a search for an item not stipulated in their search warrant? REALLY?

 

“Yes, fully loaded trophies.”

 

“ _Gentlemen_ ,” she started in a tone that would have any sensible person wetting themselves from fear, “we are looking for stolen trophies. Finding a _gun_ would be incidental.”

 

Sharon was beginning to seriously consider punching Provenza, camera be damned, when Sanchez pointed out the shovel.

 

Provenza turned to Sharon, “Captain, is it pro-cedure?”

 

Sharon shrugged, “who am I to say what someone would do with a stolen trophy? But if I were going to look for one in a backyard I’d use a metal detector.”

 

It didn’t take long for Tao to collect the metal detectors and for Major Crimes to get to searching the backyard.

 

“Remember, concentrate on stretches of ground large enough to cover a _trophy_ sized object.” Sharon reminded, pacing through the small backyard.

 

“Here’s a patch here at the end of this runner.” Provenza motioned.

 

Sharon wanted to scream. “Which is too small for a trophy. Which is what we’re looking for. And if we find something else we’ll call it a happy accident.”

 

“So, apropos of nothing really, when can major crimes start planning your retirement party? I want to bring the balloon animals myself.” Provenza’s voice dripped with disdain and Sharon was once again considering pistol whipping him.

 

She wanted to yell, “fuck it! Go ahead, say on camera that you’re looking for a gun, get the evidence dismissed. I don’t even fucking care. Because you know what? If this whole thing goes sour guess which one of us won’t be up shit creek. I’ll give you a hint. It’s not _you_. So, go ahead, by all means, get your own fucking search invalidated. Do whatever the fuck you want.”

 

But instead, she, very calmly asked, “who told you I was retiring lieutenant?”

 

“Well you said it in front of Taylor, didn’t you?”

 

**

 

“Hey, good morning.” Fritz greeted, letting himself into Brenda’s apartment and delivering the coffee and donuts that had become his morning bribe. “Everything alright?”

 

“Yeah, the boy’s living in Coach Carr’s house had their physical examinations. There was no sign of abuse, physical or otherwise…” Brenda sat down and picked up a donut. “Now Coach Carr’s only motive would be to avoid a job transfer and he could retire on early pension.”

 

“Kind of like Raydor, huh?” Fritz grabbed himself a plate and joined her at the table.”

 

“Kind of like Raydor how?” Brenda narrowed her eyes.

 

“Oh, didn’t she tell you? Well apparently, Raydor thinks she should retire. She hates checking up on you all the time. Feels she’s not wanted and supposedly has a great job offer.” Fritz smirked smugly. “I mean, you broke up with the woman, I think that’s a pretty clear message.”

 

“But…” Brenda’s bottom lip started to quiver.

 

“I thought you’d be happy.”

 

“No! Of course I’m not happy.” Brenda huffed. “Yes, I broke up with her and it was a terrible, terrible decision.”

 

Fritz set his coffee down and scrutinized Brenda for a moment. “You’re still in love with her, aren’t you?”

 

“Of course I am!” Brenda snapped.

 

“Isn’t a little masochistic to be still be in love with someone who moved and hasn’t given you her new address?”

 

“I don’t know. Isn’t a little masochistic to still be in love with someone who left you twice for the same woman?” Brenda asked pointedly.

 

“What are you trying to say? That I’m still in love with _you_?” Fritz’s eyes widened.

 

“You bring me coffee and breakfast every day.” Brenda punctuated her point by biting into the donut. “I haven’t even turned on my stove because if I want food all I have to do is snap my fingers and you’ll bring me take out.”

 

“You’ve never said anything about it before.”

 

“That’s because _I’m_ selfish and _you’re_ masochistic.”

 

**

 

“Chief Johnson, I just heard that the three boys from Coach Carr’s house are still here…” Sharon walked up to Brenda. She was aware that Chief Pope was still following her, she just couldn’t shake him.

 

“That’s correct.” Brenda said curtly.

 

“Technically we’re required to release them to their parents…”

 

“Well, so far we’ve only been able to find one of the mothers and she says she’s too busy to come down here till tomorrow morning. You want me to let these boys go? What if they get lost or hurt or involved in a crime? Goldman can end up recruiting their parents for that federal lawsuit of his…or don’t you care about that anymore?”

 

Those words pierced through Sharon like a knife. God, she cared about nothing more than she cared about Brenda and the godforsaken lawsuit.

 

“Where are the boys right now, Chief?”

 

“They’re in the break room. I figured we couldn’t release ‘em we might as well feed ‘em.”

 

“Let me see if I can get the boys to help us in locating their relatives.” Brenda watched Sharon walk away and huffed, turning back to Pope.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me she was retirin’?”

 

“Because I’m trying to talk her out of it. If you could say something helpful that would be… nice. Unless you want me to replace her with someone worse.”

 

His choice of adjectives was not lost on Brenda. He treated her like a necessary evil. Her squad just treated her like evil. The woman had the patience of a saint, she really did. Brenda couldn’t imagine having Sharon’s job and not crying every day. Sharon was stronger, Brenda fully acknowledged that between then Sharon was the stronger one.

 

**

 

Sharon walked up behind Brenda as Brenda watched the coach walk away, “as good as Coach Carr’s intentions are, his actions were illegal.”

 

Brenda shrugged “…or you could say that the challenges he faced at work forced him to look for unorthodox solutions. And now for going above and beyond the call of duty, he’ll probably lose his job.”

 

“Maybe it’s time for him to move on…” Sharon said softly.

 

“I don’t know. He seemed to be doing important work, even if it wasn’t fully appreciated by his boss and fellow teachers. There’s something about that I find admirable.” Brenda searched Sharon’s eyes for a reaction. After a long moment, Sharon’s eyes glinted with a bit of mischief.

 

Sharon nodded in agreement, “me too.”

 

**

 

Sharon turned onto Coach Carr’s street again for the second time that day. There weren’t nearly as many cars taking up the on-street parking today but one silver car sat conspicuously in front of her destination.

 

Sharon shook her head, how Brenda could argue that there wasn’t a leak was beyond her. She leaned up against the little silver car to wait for the slithery owner to come out of the house.

 

When the door opened and Goldman stepped out and Sharon waved. “Sharon Raydor. What an unpleasant surprise.” Goldman’s sickening smile spread across his face.

 

“I’m getting really used to seeing your car parked in front of someplace I need to be.” She pushed herself off his car, walking past him toward the house.

 

“I was just warming up Coach Carr for you.” He smirked.  “I can’t decide which of us has the worse gig here, you or me.”

 

“Well, that depends, I guess on what one wants from life.” She said cryptically.

 

“I gather you want a little more than what you have right now. Am I right?”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She narrowed her eyes.

 

“Just I hear you’re giving up the badge, moving on.” He looked smug. He knew that Brenda’s greatest asset was Rule-Book-Raydor, with her looking over the blonde’s shoulder there’d been no usable cases in months.

 

“Really?” Sharon tried to keep the self-satisfaction out of her voice.

 

“I mean, why not? You’ve earned your pension, retirement doesn’t mean an end to work. And you’ve got a great job offer. What could be better?”

 

“And where did you hear that?”

 

“A little birdie told me.”

 

“No, really, Mr. Goldman.” She fixed her scrutinizing glare on him, “seriously, from whom did you hear that I had a job offer and that I was retiring?”

 

“Why?” He squirmed.

 

“Because I have no intention of retiring. A new job offer was the last thing on my mind. The only thing I’m trying to do is prove that there really is a leak in the LAPD and that you are getting your information quicker than some of the officers. I guess I’ll have to get a warrant to find out who the little birdie is.”

 

Goldman wanted to get away from Sharon as quickly as he could, kicking himself for tipping his hand. “A warrant against the lawyer who’s suing you. Good luck with that.” He scoffed, jumping into his car.

 

Sharon watched him drive away and smiled to herself. She walked up to the front door of Coach Carr’s house and made a mental note of the damage the door incurred during the search and wanted to strangle those overzealous Major Crimes boys.

 

Carr came to the door and shook his head a little, “I oughtta get a revolving door put on.”

 

“Hello Mr. Carr, I apologize for the intrusion, I know you’re a busy man.” She held up her badge, “my name is Captain Sharon Raydor and I’m with the professional standards bureau.”

 

“Well, come in then.” He led her into the house. There was a tea service on the coffee table, he motioned to it. “Would you like some tea?”

 

“No, thank you.”

 

“You sure? I made a whole pot and probably won’t be able to finish it myself.”

 

“Okay, I’ll have a cup, thank you.” They were silent while he poured the tea and handed it to Sharon. He stared at the floor glumly before Sharon said gently, “if this is a bad time, I can come back.”

 

“Well, it sure is bad timing but I can’t say I think there’d be a better I time.” He sat back on the couch. “Do you have kids?”

 

Sharon nodded, “two.”

 

“Then you know how hard it is to trust the world to take care of the people you love.”

 

Sharon set the tea down and pulled out a small stack of papers, “I came by because I wanted to give you these.” She pulled a business card loose, “this is the social worker who’s assigned to your boys.”

 

He looked it over silently.

 

“And the rest of these papers are the proper forms to petition for custody.” Sharon handed the rest of the papers over to the stunned coach. “I’ve compiled some of the information myself but you’ll have to finish.”

 

“Why did you do all this for me?” He held the papers close, as though they were precious.

 

“Child services is for kids who don’t have anybody who loves them and I don’t think that describes your boys.” Sharon almost smiled but maintained her professional demeanor. “Thank you for the tea, Mr. Carr, I should probably get going.”

 

He got to his feet as she did. “I really don’t know what to say… this is above and beyond…”

 

“Cops have hearts too, give us a little credit.” Sharon cocked a small genial smile and dug her own card out of her pocket, “if you have any questions or complaints concerning your treatment in the Reid investigation feel free to call me and I’ll see that any grievances are addressed.”

 

**

 

Sharon had changed out of her work clothes into a pair of worn old jeans and a cashmere sweater that Willie Rae had given her the previous Christmas. It had taken a couple of years of training before Willie Rae started giving her and Angela clothing that they wouldn’t feel embarrassed to wear in public. Once or twice each Christmas Sharon and Angela would take Willie Rae shopping while Brenda was working and picking up things they liked and complimented each other’s tastes. Slowly they stopped getting hand-stitched reindeer sweaters and actually ended up with Cashmere and well-fitting knits – much to Brenda’s chagrin because _she_ still got the reindeer sweaters.

 

She was contemplating making herself a bowl of pasta and cracking open a bottle of Chardonnay when the phone rang.

 

“Ms. Raydor, good news.”

 

Sharon had to look at the phone again to know who was calling, “oh, Barbara. Hi.”

 

“I’m showing someone the house tonight!” Barbara’s pep practically poured through the phone. Perfect in a realtor, dreaded in any other situation. “I’m showing it to the sweetest lady ever. I talked to her on the phone not ten minutes ago and she was telling me how gorgeous the house was and how much curb appeal and she said that it even looked like it had a breakfast nook with a southern exposure. Can you believe that? No sense of playing it cool on her but really, sweetest lady I’ve talked to in a while – oh, present company excluded.” She giggled.

 

“You don’t have to say that, Barbara, but thank you.” Sharon pulled open the drawer looking for her corkscrew.

 

“I just go all gooey over those southern accents. I spend way too much time watching Paula Deen.”

 

“No! No, no, no!” Sharon slammed the drawer shut and huffed. “What was this woman’s name?”

 

“Ms. Raydor, honey, hold that thought, I’m going through a tunnel and I’m about to lose you.”

 

Sharon ended the call and slipped on her shoes. So much for a quiet evening of well-deserved rest.

 

Sharon went to turn into the driveway but Barbara’s minivan was parked dead center and she had to reverse and park on the street. She jumped out just as Barbara was rushing out to her. “Oh, Ms. Raydor you really shouldn’t have come. Potential homebuyers don’t like to see the homeowners, it makes it hard to imagine themselves living in the house.”

 

“Barbara, I’m sorry you’ve wasted your time but this woman is not a potential homebuyer, she’s my ex-girlfriend and she’s just trying to get my goat.”

 

“Well, dear, not sure if it’s my place to say so but it looks like it’s working.”

 

Sharon narrowed her eyes at Barbara and was incredibly close to ripping her a new one when Brenda’s car pulled up and parked right behind Sharon – very close to her back bumper… which did not escape Sharon’s attention.

 

“Oh, Sharon, didn’t expect you to be here.”

 

“You can’t buy my house.” Sharon folded her arms across her chest.

 

“Barbara, what’s the asking price?”

 

“It’s a million ten, but if you’re really serious and want to make an offer within the next twenty-four hours I’m authorized to take it down to a million.” Barbara beamed.

 

“You cannot buy my house!”

 

“I’ll take it and I’ll give you a million fifteen.”

 

“Damnit Brenda,” Sharon growled. “Can I speak to you inside?”

 

“Sure, Sharon,” Brenda laughed and turned to Barbara, “try saying that ten times fast!”

 

Once they were inside the house Sharon groaned and rubbed her temples. “All day long at work I have to deal with everybody loving you all the time and always having to be the bad guy. Is it too much to ask that you just shut off that phony southern charm every once in a while?”

 

Brenda folded her arms across her chest. “Do you feel better? Do you feel better now that you said that?”

 

“No. And another thing! Since you are so beloved would it kill you to say to your squad every once in a while ‘lay off her, guys, she’s just doing her damn job’?”

 

“I don’t know because my mama used to say that if I went around damning everything I’d go straight to Hell… so… maybe?”

 

“Please, _please_ stop being adorable for a couple of minutes so I can just be pissed at you.” Sharon whined, starting to feel defeated and powerless against Brenda’s honey-sweet voice.

 

“Look, I’m sorry that I got you here under false pretenses but I was starting to freak out that someone could buy our house.”

 

“ _My_ house.”

 

“We spent five years living here together. We had five Christmases here with your kids and my parents, we had a lot of great times in this house and it was my home for five years. I don’t want to give that up.”

 

“Brenda, we’ve been over this…” Sharon sighed.

 

“I know. I messed up. I messed up really badly. I was under a lot of pressure and I was really emotional and I wasn’t thinking clearly and it led to one bad decision after another and I know that what I did and said was hurtful to you and I just want the chance to make it up to you.”

 

Sharon wiped at her eyes, she wasn’t sure exactly when she started tearing up but there it was. “Brenda, I can’t just take you back. I’m… I’m still really fragile. I know it’s been two months and I should be over it but…”

 

“I’m not asking you to take me back right now. I don’t want you to make that decision right now.” Brenda assured her, “I would just like the opportunity to court you. I’m gonna do it right, I’m gonna to come to your house and pick you up and I’ll bring you flowers. I just want you to give me another shot, I want to prove to you that I’m different, I’m leveling off on emotional stability – somewhat. I want to do it over and do it right.”

 

Sharon blinked tears out of her eyes and stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Brenda. “It wasn’t all wrong. It wasn’t even mostly wrong.” She whispered.

 

Brenda nuzzled her hair. “I just never want to hurt you again.” Brenda admitted softly. “I just want to be the person you look forward to coming home to.”

 

Sharon gave her a gentle squeeze. “I have a bottle of Chardonnay on the counter and pasta primavera back at my apartment. Would you like to have dinner with me?”

 

“Okay, but just so you don’t get the wrong idea, I’m not a cheap date and I don’t jump right into bed on the first date.”

 

Sharon scoffed with a grin, “since when?”


	11. You Have the Right to Remain Jolly

Sharon dropped her bags on the floor of the familiar little cottage.

 

“I just talked to James, he’s almost here, he just hit a little traffic getting out of San Fran.” Angela said, leaning against the doorframe of the master bedroom. She pocketed her cell phone and folded her arms across her chest. “Since it’s just the three of us this year can we switch up the sleeping arrangement?”

 

“What’d you have in mind?” Sharon asked pulling a few sweaters out of the suitcase and hanging them in the closet.

 

“Maybe you and I could share the master bedroom so I don’t have to share a bed with baby brother this year.” Angela sighed, “I’m sick of having to hassle him to avoid eating foods that make him gassy. If you and I just shared the queen bed he could stink up the living room all night long and not risk killing anyone.”

 

Sharon smiled, “I think I can swing that.”

 

A loud ringing pierced the air. “Oh. You’re phone, I’ll grab it for you. In your purse?”

 

“Coat pocket, thanks, Angel.” Sharon opened the drawer in the bureau and dumped in her socks and underwear. Sharon did so despise living out of a suitcase but she’d been to this little B&B so many times it felt like a home away from home. Even though they’d only be spending three nights, it felt worth it to hang up and put away all of her clothing.

 

Sharon had grown up in Pescadero, CA and every year she and her parents would get a Christmas tree from the Medeiros Christmas Tree farm. When Sharon grew up, moved out and had her own children they always came back to Pescadero to spend a week with her parents and bring home a Christmas tree. Then her parents moved to Florida and her own children moved out but they still made the yearly pilgrimage and had begun the tradition of staying at the Pescadero Creek Inn in the cottage by the water. Sharon was grateful that her children still wanted to do it and wouldn’t trade this time for anything in the world.

 

“Mom, it’s Brenda. Didn’t she get the memo that you’re off this week?” Angela scoffed, “probably calling to ask you for a favor. Maybe she wants you to pick up her dry cleaning.”

 

“Uh, just let that go to voicemail.” Sharon tried to sound dismissive.

 

“No, no, this’ll be good.” Angela laughed and accepted the call, “hey Brenda.”

 

“Angela, come on.” Sharon rolled her eyes.

 

“Oh, Angela, it’s been a while since we’ve talked. You and your mama still on the road?”

 

“No, we’re at the inn…” Angela was surprised that Brenda knew to ask that.

 

“Is your mama around?”

 

“Give me the phone, please.” Sharon whispered, holding out her hand.

 

“She’s in the shower actually.”

 

Sharon heaved a heavy sigh. “Angela, stop messing around, I’m serious.”

 

“Oh, okay. I won’t disturb her then. Could you please tell her that I miss her already and I’m sorry that I couldn’t go up to Pescadero this year. I hope you guys have a lot of fun and I expect pictures of your mama trying to cut down her Douglas fir.” She laughed pleasantly, “ _oh_ and tell her to call me back if she wants to hear about the most ridiculous case of the year.”

 

“Um… okay.”

 

“Is your brother there yet?”

 

“No…”

 

“Well, tell him hi for me when he gets there.” Brenda paused for Angela to say something… anything, really before adding, “okay, well, have a great couple of days. See you soon, hopefully.”

 

Angela hung up the phone and turned a look on her mother. “Do you have something to tell me?”

 

“I do, as a matter of fact.” Sharon snatched the phone from her daughter, “it’s mind your own beeswax.”

 

“Is this why you took your house off the market?”

 

“It’s ridiculous to try and sell it right now. It’s completely paid off so it’s not really costing me much, just property taxes and if I wait until the housing market is better I’ll get a better offer.”

 

“And you’re back together with Brenda.”

 

“Don’t give me that look.” Sharon snapped, “ever since the divorce you’ve felt like it was your job to protect me and I don’t need you to protect me. I’m your mother.”

 

“I don’t want you to get hurt! Is that so wrong?”

 

“It is if you don’t let me make my own decisions.” Sharon sighed, “Angie, how about you worry about you and I’ll worry about everybody.”

 

Angela pouted. “I just… I’m the one you come to when Brenda makes you sad and maybe I don’t think you should put yourself in that position again and again and again. Maybe I just wish you’d see this pattern and you’d come to your senses instead of slinking back to her and lying to me about it.”

 

Sharon put her hands up in annoyed resignation. “Fine, have it your way.”

 

“Oh my god, you’re not allowed to be mad at me! I’m mad at you.”

 

“I’m not mad at you, sweetie, I’m just going to give you some space and let you come to your senses.”

 

“Oooh that is so condescending!”

 

The front door to the cabin opened and the women turned to James whose smile slowly faded as he took in the expressions on his mother and sister. “I see I got here just in time for the show.”

 

Sharon shook her head. “Just a little ‘we were stuck in a car together for 5 hours’ drama. We’re okay. Aren’t we, Angel?”

 

Angela nodded with a sigh.

  
“Oh, well, as long as you’re not fighting.” James put his suitcase down. “So can I get a hug or does the animosity spread to me?”

 

Sharon smiled and stepped up to her son and gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. “It’s good to see you, James.”

 

“Good to see you too, mom.” James looked to Angela and held out his arms, “how about you?”

 

“I’ll pass.” Angela smirked.

 

**

 

Brenda sat in the passenger seat of Fritz’s car, toying with the stupid little ornament. It occurred to her, vaguely, that if it wasn’t for Sharon, Fritz and Will trying to keep her on the right track that she’d, undoubtedly, be in even deeper shit than she already was. Knowing that people care about you so much should have been a comforting thought but it actually made her feel sad. She wondered, not for the first time, if anyone really did things for her out of altruism or if it was all just a ploy to get into her pants.

 

Brenda heaved an involuntary sigh and turned to look out the window. She didn’t really want to be heading back to the LAPD, she wished she was in Pescadero trying to get into Sharon’s pants. Instead, she was in Fritz’s car, hoping he didn’t need a reminder that she wasn’t interested in getting into his pants anymore.

 

“Brenda-”

 

“Please, don’t talk. I’m not really in the mood.” She looked back down at the trinket.

 

“If that’s the way you want it-”

 

“I didn’t ask you to take time off work.” Brenda looked over at him. “I know you feel put upon and unappreciated but I never asked you for any of it.”

 

“But you’re happy enough to take whatever’s handed to you.” Fritz frowned.

 

“Of course I am. People are selfish.” Brenda scoffed, “I act in a completely predictable manner. I’m going to keep taking as long as you keep giving. You know this about me.”

 

“Brenda-”

 

“No, it’s just… everyone always just ‘wants me to be myself’ but nobody really wants that. Everybody wants me to change, to be something different. Well, you all knew what I was like and you all should just deal with it.”

 

“Are you through?” Fritz rolled his eyes. He waited a moment but she seemed to have come to a halt. “Relationships are about compromise, they’re about changing for each other. They’re about considering each other’s needs.”

 

“Would you still bring me coffee and breakfast if I told you I was never going to sleep with you again?”

 

He sighed. “Why are you being so vindictive? Is it because you’re nervous about paying for Gavin?”

 

“No. It is a real question.” Brenda said firmly. “Do you only like me because you think there’s a possibility you’ll get to sleep with me?”

 

“You’re a very smart woman, Brenda, of course I’m interested in more than your body.”

 

“Sharon and I are back together. We’re taking it slow right now but I’m going to do it right this time around. This federal lawsuit has really helped me put it in perspective. No matter what else goes wrong in my life, I just want to be with Sharon.” Brenda said, “whether or not my future includes you at all doesn’t really matter to me.”

 

“Are you trying to be cruel?”

 

“I’m trying to get you to be realistic.”

 

“You’re just upset about Gavin and Goldman and-”

 

“I’m upset because you’re not hearing my words.” Brenda snapped. “I don’t need you to take care of me. I don’t need you to pick me up and take me to meetings and nag at me about not eating a balanced breakfast. I am going to make mistakes, I’m going to do things wrong but it’s my life and my prerogative to make those mistakes, Fritz. Do you hear me?”

 

Fritz pulled up in front of the LAPD. “Why don’t we talk again when you’re not as upset?”

 

Brenda huffed angrily and got out of the car, slamming the door behind her.

 

“Hey, you forgot your ornament!” Fritz called, holding up the silver bell. “Brenda!”

 

**

 

“Mom’s still not back?” James asked, bringing his sister a beer and joining her on the porch of the little cottage.

 

“She’s only been gone 15 minutes. Traffic’s not great this time of day.”

 

He settled down on the chair and sipped his beer. “I guess I’m just really hungry.”

 

Angela popped the cap off her beer on the arm of the chair and took a sip. James studied his sister for a moment. “Are you really mad at mom for getting back with Brenda? I mean, is it really your business?”

 

Angela turned to look at him incredulously. “Brenda was really insensitive and mom shouldn’t put up with that!”

 

“You know what I think?” James asked, he waited for Angela to answer but she only rolled her eyes. “You look to mom as a role model for your own relationships and you’re the one who’s really afraid to get taken advantage of.”

 

Angela scoffed.

 

“Mom gives as good as she gets.” James smiled, “remember when she didn’t pick Brenda up from the dentist after her root canal because she got called into work?”

 

Angela chuckled a little.

 

“I’m pretty sure that they deserve each other.”

 

“You’re probably right.”

 

“And how many birthday parties did she show up late to during our childhoods? How many cards did dad sign her name on?”

 

“I guess.”

 

“So maybe it’s penance.” James shrugged. “Maybe it’s a good thing that mom finally learned to care more about someone else than herself.”

 

“Well, what if she went too far in the other direction?” Angela sipped her beer and turned to James again. “The middle is obviously the right place to be: consider someone else’s feelings and act accordingly but also remain true to yourself.”

 

James laughed, “Ange, if there’s anyone I know who’s unapologetically themself it’s mom.”

 

Angela nodded.

 

“And maybe we should be supportive instead of judgmental because it’s not really going to change her actions. We love her and our job is to comfort her and support her not to make her decisions for her.”

 

“So are you saying you’re not mad at Brenda?”

 

He scoffed, “that is absolutely not what I’m saying. If Brenda was a man and didn’t carry a gun she’d have to answer to me. Nobody gets away with hurting my mother.”

 

Angela laughed, “you are not as scary as you think you are. You grew up in a good neighborhood in L.A. with a swimming pool and someone who came in to clean a couple days a week. You went to private school. You couldn’t intimidate anyone.”

 

“Apparently.”

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing.” He shook his head dismissively and downed the last couple of sips of his beer.

 

**

 

Brenda lay on the bed in the spare bedroom of her apartment staring at the Phillip Strohe board that she’d pinned up. She wasn’t reading it or thinking critically about it, she was merely considering it as an idea and looking at it as a whole.

 

She wasn’t sorry for any of it. That was the real kicker of this lawsuit. Sometimes the justice system failed, sometimes creative solutions were necessary. In any other field thinking outside of the box would be rewarded. Indeed, it was validated by some other members of her team. Each and every one of the men who had died as a result of her actions were criminals, they were admitted killers. They’d had a choice: they’d been caught, maybe not with forensics, but someone had found them out and they, by rights, should have stood trial for their crimes. If they didn’t stand trial for their crimes, for whatever reason, they’d just have to take their chances.

 

It made her so angry. Why were the lives of admitted killers more important than her years of service, during which she’d brought so many families closure and justice to victims.

 

Sometimes she wished she’d never left the CIA. She’d never been asked to justify her actions, she’d done what was necessary and she was lauded for it.

 

Maybe it was because she was a woman and she was being punished for presuming to decide the fate of men. Would she be in this mess if they’d all been women? But that was the thing, wasn’t it? Women, as a rule of thumb, just didn’t kill people in cold blood, they didn’t rape, torture and murder helpless victims.

 

This was just another way to stick it to women.

 

She glanced at her cell phone. She wanted to call Sharon and receive the familiar comfort of her even, honeyed voice but she didn’t want to be that clingy person. Especially since they had ‘started over’ and they’d only technically had two dates.

 

She wasn’t sure how strictly Sharon was going to make her adhere to the dating structure… She wanted to call her again so badly.

 

When the phone rang, Brenda jumped. She chuckled to herself when she saw the caller id.

 

“Oh, hey Sharon.” She said, trying her best to sound nonchalant.

 

Sharon smiled against the phone; she knew the woman well enough to know what was and what wasn’t legitimate nonchalance. “Hey Brenda.” She teased. “What are you up to?”

 

Brenda shrugged, “just lyin’ in bed and solving the mysteries of the universe.”

 

“Oh? Have you gotten as far as why there’s always an odd number of socks in the dryer even though an even number went into the washer?”

 

“Oh, that was one of the easy ones.” Brenda flirted, “spontaneous sock combustion.”

 

“No kidding?”

 

“When some socks come in contact with soap they just poof and they’re gone. All socks are allergic to soap and it’s only a matter of time before they succumb.”

 

“Learn something every day.” Sharon switched the phone to the other ear. Someone’s truck hadn’t been secured well enough and the contents of a couple of boxes had spilled into the road, blocking both lanes. The people in the truck struggled to get it cleared to release the deadlocked cars. Sharon was sitting next to a very large bag of take-out that smelled like heaven and she had to try very hard not to just reach over and start eating.

 

“Which ones are you stuck on?” Sharon asked, chewing her lip a little.

 

“Why do fools fall in love? Why didn’t they ever build a boat on Gilligan’s island? Why does the last bite of pasta primavera from your plate always taste better than my whole serving?”

 

“You really have your hands full.” Sharon agreed with playful solemnity.

 

“I miss you.” Brenda sighed, unable to hold it back any longer. “Not just… you… I miss us, I miss talking to you. I miss kissing you goodnight before falling asleep. I just… sorry, I’m trying to play it cool… but I really want everything to be okay this time. I want you to know how much I love you and how much you really mean to me.”

 

The brake lights of the car in front of her went out and she said a silent thank you that traffic was moving again. The wheels of the truck that she’d rented to haul the Christmas tree back in rolled slowly forward for a while before traffic thinned and started moving at a respectable speed.

 

“Are you still there?” Brenda asked softly, holding her breath waiting for Sharon to answer.

 

“I love you.” She whispered, “I love you so much it’s kind of ridiculous.”

 

“I wish I was there with you.” Brenda whimpered, “I can’t wait until you get back… I just want to kiss you and hold you and touch you…”

 

Sharon mmed softly and let out a breath slowly.

 

“What are you wearing?” Brenda purred.

 

“Ngh. I can’t do this right now… I’m driving…”

 

Brenda laid back against the pillows, her golden hair splaying out around her head and slipped her eyes shut. She let her free hand trail down her stomach and past the waist of her skirt. Once she was past the first layer she felt a little shier.

 

“Keep talking to me?” Brenda pleaded.

 

“Woman, you’re going to be the death of me.” Sharon groaned shakily.

 

“I miss feeling your fingers inside me.” Brenda admitted, letting her fingers slip past her panties and through the dark blonde curls. Her fingertip brushed her clit and she let out a breathy gasp.

 

“Oh god, Brenda.” Sharon gripped the steering wheel tightly. “If I was there with you I’d settle down between your legs and run my tongue up your inner thigh.”

 

“Mmm…” Brenda traced lazy circles on her clit, her hips starting to move with her fingers’ movements.

 

“I’d dip my tongue inside you and just… taste you and savor you…”

 

“Ooh, yes… Sharon…” Brenda moaned, dipping her fingers into her, letting the digits curl and press into all the sensitive spots.

 

“And I’d push three fingers into you just like you like…” Sharon smiled.

 

Brenda groaned through a grin. Sharon knew her body like no one ever had before her and she even knew how to carress her perfectly with her silken cadence. Brenda mumbled her name in appreciation, pumping her fingers, the heel of her hand rubbing against her clit.

 

“And I’d fuck you until you screamed.”

 

Brenda moaned, lifting her hips higher, “god, Sharon, I’m so close.”

 

“Come for me, Brenda,” Sharon whispered urgently, feeling the heat between her legs and wishing she was in a position to do something about it but it would have to be tabled until she got back to Los Angeles.

 

Brenda cried out, toppled over the edge by Sharon’s seductive tones, whimpering the older woman’s name as she orgasmed around her own fingers. Finally, satiated and spent she laid back against the pillows, letting her breathing return to normal.

 

“God Sharon…”

 

“You can just call me Sharon.” She smirked.

 

Brenda laughed, “you think you’re God’s gift to women, don’t you?”

 

“I’m God’s gift to the entire world, who are you kidding?” Sharon grinned, “I’m not the one who just called me God.”

 

“I’ll call you anything you want, just come home to me.” Brenda said sweetly, turning to lay on her side. “I just…”

 

“I know.”

 

There was silence for a few long moments. Sharon wanted to tell Brenda that she should just drive up, that the stay had barely started and she should just join them but that would surely put strain on the time spent with her children.

 

“When I get back let’s drive to the beach.”

 

“I’d like that.”

 

“I love you and I’ll talk to you soon.”

 

“Have a great time, Sharon. I love you.”

 

Sharon hung up the phone, she could see the Inn cresting on the hill but decided she may need an extra trip or two around the block to make her body forget the phone sex she’d just had.

 

In her spare bedroom in her apartment Brenda laid listening to her heartbeat for a few long minutes before swinging her legs over the side and stood up. Standing in front of her Phillip Strohe murder board she made the decision to push him from her mind during the lawsuit.

 

Whether or not she believed she was doing the right thing was immaterial and she decided that Mr. Strohe had to go back to the evidence vault for the time being. That was not to say that she’d ever forget, she would never ever forget. But, for the sake of her own freedom to continue working the case, she’d push him to the very back of her mind for now.

 

**

 

Their dinner was a very large bag of Chinese food that was eagerly awaited by her offspring. When she walked through the door James took it off of her hands and Angela brought her a beer. Sharon took a sip of the cold, crisp beer, letting it slide down her throat and she suddenly felt very present in the cabin with her children and not back in Los Angeles with Brenda.

 

The taste of the dry beer reminded her fondly of her father who, after quite a long fight with cancer, had died last spring. He’d always had a case of beer in the house and though she mostly preferred wine – and with Brenda she only drank wine – beer was a nice change from time to time.


	12. Relative Matters

“I have to take this,” Angela stood from her seat, “if the waitress comes by and takes drink orders I want a water.”

 

“Okay, Angel.” Sharon said as her eyes scanned the breakfast menu. She looked up at James, “you’ve been quiet.”

 

“Huh?” He looked up. “Yeah, I… I actually have a lot on my mind.”

 

“Want to talk about it?”

 

“I do actually… but just us.” He looked over to see his sister standing outside on the sidewalk on her phone. “Do you think we could talk alone later?”

 

Sharon furrowed her brow, “of course.”

 

Angela came back in, “sorry about that.” She apologized as she sat back down at the table. “Did the waitress come yet?”

 

**

 

Brenda was looking through the glass wall as her parents handed out Christmas presents. She closed her eyes tightly for a moment, fighting back a fresh onslaught of tears. When she opened them again her vision was blurry and she knew that she hadn’t entirely staved them off. She reached up with the back of her hand and wiped them away.

 

Almost unconsciously, she pulled her cell phone from her purse and scrolled through her contacts until she settled on Sharon’s. She hesitated for a moment before pressing send and putting it to her ear.

 

**

 

“Mom, it’s Brenda.” Angela pulled the phone out of her mother’s overstuffed purse.

 

“Give it to me,” Sharon held her arm out.

 

“Mom, it’s against the law to use a handheld device while you’re driving in the state of California.” Angela protested.

 

“I have a shiny badge that would outrank any officer who might pull me over.” She wiggled her fingers, “give it to me, please.”

 

Angela handed it over and fell back against the backseat with a sigh.

 

“Captain Raydor.” Sharon answered coyly.

 

“Sharon?” Brenda sobbed, turning away from the glass so no one would see her.

 

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

 

“I’m…” Brenda sank down into her chair, “oh god…”

 

“Brenda, what happened?” Sharon demanded slowly and clearly.

 

“I… no, I’m fine, I’m…” She wiped at her eyes, “I stubbed my toe really hard and I’m… sitting in my office trying to pretend I’m not crying.”

 

“Oh… well, make sure it isn’t broken – not that you can do much about a broken toe except live with it…”

 

“I don’t think it’s broken, I think I’m just stunned. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with myself… Are you and the kids having a good time?”

 

“Yeah, we’re headed toward Ano Nuevo State Reserve. Your favorite…”

 

Brenda snorted. As much as she loved the yearly trip to Pescadero and the inn, she did not love the four mile hike through the state reserve. For most of the year Sharon was a happy city girl, a stone cold fox in the concrete jungle but drop her in the middle of nowhere and she was obviously in her element. Brenda had been an urban girl scout, the finer points of orienteering and wilderness survival were never stressed to her and she craved indoor heating.

 

“Okay, have fun. I can’t wait until you get back. I miss you a lot.”

 

“I miss you too, I hope you feel better.”

 

After hanging up Brenda slumped down in her chair and dove into her candy drawer. She wished that her parents would just go back to the house so she could try not to think about her father’s diagnosis. She would try not to think about all the time she’d spent away and feel guilty about pursuing her own interests instead of staying near her parents.

 

Didn’t that happen with all children? They move out of their parents’ house to seek their fortunes, their passions pulling them to the four corners… but when their parents got old and fell ill or… died… the children felt like they’d missed precious time with them.

 

Well, it hadn’t been that way with Sharon. Sharon moved seven hours away and then her parents moved to the other side of the country. Maybe it was because Sharon’s parents had still had passions too, maybe it was because they were California gentiles, maybe it was because Sharon was an only child.

 

Sharon’s mother passed away when Brenda had only been with her for a few months. The funeral had been in Sarasota, FL and Brenda hadn’t gone and Sharon hadn’t asked her to but when Sharon returned to Los Angeles Brenda asked to take their relationship to the next level – she’d missed her too much in the week and a half she’d been gone. The mourning process had been relatively quick and these days when she speaks of her mother there are no tears only smiles remembering her fondly. Whether that meant she was actually well adjusted and her parents had actually correctly taught her how to be her own person or she was just a very practical person remains to be unseen. Sharon’s father’s death had been harder on her because he’d had two heart attacks that didn’t kill him and the constant threat of his death had been fraying at Sharon’s nerves. When he had finally passed away Sharon spent the whole night in Brenda’s arms sobbing and lamenting about how slow things had been for him and how she was glad he was finally at peace. Then she was also able to put her sadness behind her and she spoke with happy nostalgia about her parents.

 

Brenda knew that she would never have the sort of peace that Sharon had. Just the very idea of having to live without her parents could send Brenda into fits, it was a well-known fact that Sharon was the level-headed one in their relationship and Brenda was a Mt. Vesuvius of emotions.

 

She chanced a glance into the bullpen and she sighed a little bit of relief when she didn’t see her parents. She leaned back in her chair and was starting to breathe a little easier when her office door opened and her parents entered.

 

“Brenda Leigh?” Willie Ray smiled.

 

Brenda nearly fell out of her chair. “Oh, mama, daddy… y’all should be at home restin’…”

 

“We just came to bring a little bit of good tidings to the murder business.” Clay grinned, his indellible holiday cheer plastered on his wide face.

 

“You’re our last stop since Sharon’s out of town.” Willie Ray handed Brenda a little teddy bear that was holding a big plush heart. “Just a little something to tide you over until Christmas.”

 

Clay produced another teddy bear, this one was also holding a big plush heart but it was wearing a police officer’s uniform. “This is the one for Sharon if you want to hold onto it for her. I think we’ll be headed back to Atlanta before she gets back.”

 

“Thank you, daddy.” Brenda fell against her father, allowing the comfort of his embrace to envelope her. How many more times would she get to feel her father’s arms and smell his aftershave? “Mama,” she said, switching to her mother. Her mother had a small, more delicate body and, though her hugs were comforting, too, they were nothing in comparison to her father’s big bear hugs.

 

When Brenda pulled back she had to wipe tears from her eyes.

 

“None of that, Brenda Leigh. You have a murder to solve.” Willie Ray patted her on the arm, “we’ll be at the apartment when you get back. We made dinner reservations for 6 so do try to be home, okay?”

 

Brenda nodded. “I will, mama, I promise I will.”

 

Willie Ray patted her only daughter’s arm, her touch felt fragile and Brenda felt another pang of sadness lance through her heart. When had her parents gotten so old and how did Brenda miss it?

 

Brenda spent several long minutes holding the police bear, settled back in her chair. They got Sharon a police bear but they got Brenda a princess bear. As she set Sharon’s down and picked up her own she noticed the weight difference. The princess bear was considerably heavier.

 

After a short amount of inspection she realized that the heart opened and she pulled out a milk chocolate, badge shaped and wrapped in gold foil. Brenda felt a fresh wave of tears, thinking that that was probably the most thoughtful gift her parents had given her in a long time.

 

**

 

After their hike Angela volunteered to pick up dinner because she had to go into town to get wifi to send a few documents to work.

 

Sharon smiled at her son after Angela left in their rented truck. “Let’s walk on the beach while we talk.”

 

James fell into step with his mother as they walked away from their cabin down the shoreline. She was quiet, she was waiting for him to start. She was like that, she remained silent until you just couldn’t stand it any more and spilled your guts.

 

“Well… I’m making a job change.” He started.

 

“Why?” She looked over at him, “I thought you liked your job, why are you leaving?”

 

“I loved my job,” he smiled sadly, “and I’m leaving because they asked me to.”

 

“Oh James,” Sharon stopped and looked at him, James stopped and shoved his hands in his pockets, looking defeated.

 

“They laid off a bunch of us, every body who hasn’t been there for two years yet got shitcanned.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I got a severance package but with this economy… I think I can make it go longer if I need to if…”

 

“If?” Sharon repeated encouragingly. She had a feeling what came next was what he had really been putting off saying.

 

“If I could move back home for a while?” He asked. She looked skeptical for a moment, “I have more contacts in LA, all my professors and my first couple of jobs, I think my prospects are better there and if I got an apartment I’d have to pay a security deposit. So if I could just stay with you until I get a job it would be a much wiser use of my money.”

 

Sometimes Sharon wondered why he didn’t go into law like his sister, considering their amazing abilities to present rational arguments that were hard to disagree with.

 

“Of course you can, James. You’re always welcome in my home.” 


	13. Road Block

“The tree looks great, Sharon.” Brenda said, snuggling against the brunette. The tree was a large Douglas Fir, the Raydors had decorated it as soon as they got it through the door. It dominated the living room area of Sharon’s house and the lights on it were the only things lighting the room.

 

Brenda had come over for dinner and dessert. The two women were curled up together on the couch in the living room after eating. Sharon’s fingers played up Brenda’s leg and up over the curve of her hip, the digits moved teasingly up her abdomen and between her breasts until she cupped Brenda’s cheek and pulled her in for a kiss.

 

Brenda shivered and hummed against Sharon’s lips. Brenda didn’t want to rush right into it; it felt like prom night all over again. She was afraid if she pushed Sharon too quickly the night would end early and frustrated. She wasn’t really sure how far Sharon was taking the clean slate dating shtick and wanted to let Sharon set the pace.

 

But considering the phone sex they’d had, how slow did she really intend to go? Brenda thought that she’d better make a move quick or she was going to be in a bad way.

 

“Brenda?”

 

“Oh…” Sharon had said something and she’d completely missed it. “I’m… sorry, I…”

 

“Where is your head, woman?” Sharon murmured, nuzzling Brenda’s neck.

 

“In the gutter, where do you think it is?” Brenda nipped at Sharon’s lip, wrapping her arms around her and pulling her against her own body. “I can’t even think straight, I want you so bad…”

 

“So take me already. What are you waiting for? Permission?” Sharon purred.

 

Brenda didn’t need any more coaxing, she pushed Sharon onto her back and laid on top of her. Brenda’s mouth sought out Sharon’s neck while  she slipped a hand up Sharon’s shirt. Her skin was hot to the touch and Brenda moaned, hiking her hip up over Sharon’s.

 

“God, you are so fuckable…” Brenda panted in her ear.

 

Sharon groaned, grinding her hips into Brenda’s.

 

The front door opened and the foyer light was flipped on. “James?” Sharon called out, her voice was strained and she was trying to keep the frustration at bay as she moved away from Brenda.

 

“Yeah, mom?”

 

“You weren’t supposed to be home until midnight. What are you doing home at nine?”

 

“Well, Peter and Rick had to get to bed early so we called it a night…”

 

Brenda’s phone rang and she cursed the fates for the part they were playing in making sure she didn’t get laid tonight. “Chief Johnson.” She snapped into the phone.

 

“Oh jesus, I’m sorry…” he clamped a hand over his eyes. “Is everybody decent?”

 

“Yeah,” Sharon sighed, straightening her shirt and crossing the hallway into the kitchen. She started making a pot of coffee; she probably wouldn’t be able to get to bed any time soon.

 

Brenda followed Sharon into the kitchen and leaned close and said softly, “that was Lieutenant Flynn, he witnessed a hit and run and Will handed it over to us.”

 

“Fatalities?” Sharon inquired in a whisper.

 

“Seventeen year old girl. I have to go.”

 

Sharon nodded, “if you can wait a second, I’ll send you on your way with coffee.”

 

Brenda cupped Sharon’s cheek and kissed her softly. “I love you,” she murmured against Sharon’s temple before kissing her. Sharon turned and captured Brenda’s lips.

 

She gave Brenda a small squeeze and whispered back, “love you too.” Sharon let her go and moved to the cupboard where she pulled out a travel mug. She filled it with coffee and held it out to Brenda, stealing another kiss before saying softly, “call me tomorrow.”

 

“I’ll do you one better, I’ll swing by in the morning.” Brenda smiled and turned to leave, seeing James she offered him a small smile, “hi James.”

 

“Brenda…” he said coldly, turning away from her slightly.

 

Brenda nodded, “you’re going through some things right now… so I’m not going to take offense to that…”

 

“It’s okay if you do.” He shrugged.

 

Brenda leaned and closer to James and whispered, “you and your sister are exactly why I’m glad I never had kids.”

 

“Mom!” James called out. “Brenda just said something really mean!”

 

Brenda blushed bright red and scowled at him, hissing, “tattletale!”

 

“Can’t turn my back on you two for a minute.” Sharon joked from the other room.

 

Brenda cast a sidelong look at James before she slipped out of the house. James hung up his jacket and walked into the kitchen, sitting on one of the stools in front of the island. “I hope I didn’t ruin your evening.”

 

“She got a call from work, she had to go anyway.” Sharon poured herself a cup of coffee.

 

“That smells good…”

 

Sharon smirked, “I take it you’d like some?”

 

“If there’s enough.” He shrugged nonchalantly, “cream and sugar, thanks mom.”

 

She set a mug down in front of him. “There’s milk in the fridge and the sugar’s where it always is.”

 

He slid off the stool and went to the fridge to get the cream, “so Peter’s working at a PR firm and he says they’re looking to expand their marketing and he’s going to see if he can get me an interview.”

 

“That’s good news.” Sharon said encouragingly, sipping her strong black coffee. James poured milk into his coffee, tasted it and poured more milk into it. When he looked up at Sharon’s raised eyebrows she asked, “you going to have a little bit of coffee with that milk?

 

“You make the coffee too strong.”

 

“Maybe I made my son too weak.”

 

“Ha. Ha.” He stuck his tongue out at her as he spooned sugar into his coffee. He looked up and caught Sharon’s eye again, “don’t say a word.”

 

She held up her hands defensively, “I was just going to say you’re weak but you’re very sweet.”

 

“You know what I really like about you, mom?”

 

Sharon laughed, “what’s that?”

 

“That you’re so progressive and not afraid to break stereotypes and break gender roles by being the mean parent who makes fun of my girlish tendencies.” He teased, “you know what dad did last month? He sent me cupcakes for selling one of my designs.”

 

“Your dad has a lot of time on his hands.” Sharon sipped her coffee, “he’s the manager of a Mineke’s and I solve murders in a 72-hour deadline.”

 

There was a long pause and Sharon laughed again, “he sent you cupcakes? Tell me he made them himself and I’ll dine out on this for weeks.”

 

“He ordered them from a shop near my house. He was suporting the local economy.”

 

Sharon wiped mirthful tears from her eyes, “yeah, your dad’s a maverick of Greenonomics.”

 

James sipped his coffee and set it down to add extra sugar. Sharon burst out laughing again.

 

“You wanna watch a movie? I’m not really ready for bed and I spent all morning doing job shit.”

 

“I think Love Actually’s playing tonight, that’s your favorite movie, right?”

 

“It is, yeah.” James nodded defiantly, “I love the part in the airport when-”

 

“Hey, hey! I haven’t seen it, don’t spoil it.”

 

“You… haven’t seen Love Actually? That movie came out like eight years ago. What are you saving it for?” He demanded with a snort, “you remember Liza? The girl I took to the senior prom? I took her to see Love Actually in theaters for our first date.”

 

“You’re a good boy.” Sharon patted his cheek, “I raised you right. Weak but sweet.”

 

**

 

Brenda’s phone beeped as she was walking down the hallway toward the interview room. She pulled it out, “Detective, can you tell Mrs. Meyer that I’ll be right there?”

 

“Are you going to send a reply text?” He asked with a straight face, “because maybe I’ll just have her come back in an hour.”

 

“Just do what you’re told.” Brenda huffed with a grudging grin.

 

Sanchez walked away into the interview room and Brenda opened the text. Got called into work early, triple hom in Sun City. See lunchtime maybe?

 

That sounds good. Brenda started, saying the words softly as she typed. Tao raised an eyebrow at her. I will probably still be here at major crimes

 

“You know, Chief, the LAPD would get a new phone. You could get one with a full keyboard or that does talk to text.”

 

“Yeah, but then everybody would hear what I was typing.”

 

Tao looked over to Flynn who shook his head, biting back a grin.

 

Pretty gruesome case. All hands on deck for this one.

 

“Chief, how are you not out of characters yet?” Flynn demanded.

 

Brenda ignored him, maybe take-out in my office? “Send.”

 

Provenza started clapping. “So how is old Ball-and-Chain-Raydor?”

 

“Who said I was texting with Captain Raydor?” Brenda said defensively, slipping her phone back into her purse. She gave Provenza a smug look, feeling as though she’d bested him, and retreated to the interview room.

 

“So sorry to keep you waiting. Thank you so much for comin’ in, Mrs. Meyer.” Brenda flashed a wide and insincere grin. “It’s so nice to see you again.”

 

“Oh, uh, have we…”

 

“We met at a cocktail party that you and your husband threw a couple of years ago for the LAPD.” Brenda reminded, no recognition flashed across Gail’s face at all. “I was there with Sharon Raydor.”

 

“Oh, right.” Gail nodded, “yes, how have you been?”

 

“I’ve been good, thank you.” Brenda laid out a handful of pictures, “I just need you to answer a few questions about your evening.”

 

“Wow, all this just for my car?”

 

“Well, actually, there was a hit and run around the time you say your car was stolen there was a hit and run with a black Mercedes and we believe that your car may have been involved.”

 

“Oh no!” Gail laid a hand over her breast, feigning shock and displeasure. “I hope no one was hurt.”

 

“A young girl, actually, that’s why we’re hitting this one so hard.”

 

“Is there anything I can do? Like, offer a reward?”

 

Brenda listened to the woman spout off at the mouth and wanted nothing more than to take her glock and pistol whip her… but Brenda could play it cool when she needed to. Besides, playing it cool now would pay off in the long run when she nailed her ass to the wall – and let there be no mistake, Brenda was like the mounties: she always got her man.

 

Or, in Gail Meyers’s case, her boozed up, murdering, conscienceless trophy bitch.

 

Hours later Brenda was still racking her brain how to catch Gail Meyers; how to get her to admit what she did or find the evidence that proved it.

 

There was a knock on the doorframe and Brenda looked up and smiled widely. “There’s a sight for sore eyes.”

 

“Are you talking about me or this big bag of Chinese food?” Sharon teased.

 

“Oh, Sharon, I didn’t even see you there. You can come in too, I guess.”

 

Sharon set the plates and forks down on the table in Brenda’s office and she started to unpack the food. “The murder board looks sparse, usually it’s filled to the brim. Did you catch a break early on?”

 

“Actually, take what’s on the murder board and double it. The pictures are hiding other pictures and information. I know exactly who did it I just can’t prove it and it would be career suicide to rush it – or so I’m told.” Brenda rubbed her forehead, “how about your triple?”

 

“Three cokeheads and an overzealous beat cop: oil and water. It didn’t take too long to break Officer Danny Swanson.” Sharon forked lo mein onto the plate in front of her. “It’s guys like him who make my job necessary.”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Brenda waved her off and teased “IA is still evil, don’t start looking for redemption here.”

 

“Anyway, I’ve been doing the paperwork for the last three hours.” Sharon chewed a bite and swallowed, “I obviously don’t wish for more murders but I wouldn’t mind a challenge once in a while. I’m so bored I considered accepting a coffee invitation from someone I don’t even like.”

 

“Who?” Brenda asked possessively.

 

Sharon quirked an eyebrow at her girlfriend. Brenda had agreed that she wouldn’t ask Sharon how many people she’d managed to go out with during their three month relationship break but she couldn’t not be jealous. Sharon and Brenda had an extremely active sex life, possibly even more active than any of the relationships she’d been in before Sharon. Sharon loved sex and Brenda had no doubts whatsoever that Sharon had sought a bit of physical comfort and with a large pool of exes and former friends with benefits… Well, Brenda decided that she didn’t need to know all the sordid details because she also knew that Sharon was a faithful lover when she was committed.

 

“You don’t have to tell me,” Brenda relented, “I’m sorry I asked it like that.”

 

“It’s okay. You’re trying.” Sharon smiled. “It was just someone I knew from Berkeley, I haven’t even seen her in over ten years – oh, wait, that’s not true. That party we went to at the Police Commissioner’s house a couple of years ago, do you remember meeting his wife?”

 

Brenda’s jaw dropped and she made no attempts to mask her shock. “I don’t believe it…”

 

Sharon shook her head, “we never slept together, we were in Gamma Phi Beta together. I never liked her, she made absolutely no pretense about being at college to meet a man.”

 

“Sharon!” Brenda exclaimed, grabbing her hands and squeezing them.

 

“What?” Sharon demanded.

 

Brenda leapt up from her chair and closed and locked the door and pulled the blinds shut. She turned to look at Sharon and leaned up against the door. Her heart was pounding in her chest but she forced herself to take it a little slower.

 

“Sharon, can you do me a favor?”

 

“If you stop screaming at me and tell me why you’re having a hysterical fit, sure.”

 

“Will you accept your coffee date with Gail Meyers and will you wear a wire?” Brenda sat down at the table, leaning close to the confused brunette.

 

“That’s two favors.” Sharon laughed, “what is this all about?”

 

“We can’t prove anything yet,” Brenda whispered, leaning even closer, “but Gail Meyers’s Mercedes was the car that struck my victim and every fiber of my being says she was behind the wheel and that she was drunk.”

 

“Oh my god.” Sharon felt herself shiver in disgust. She covered her mouth and closed her eyes, “on behalf of every mother in the world I hope you destroy Gail Meyers.”

 

“Well, maybe you can help…”

 

“How?” Sharon narrowed her eyes.

 

“She didn’t remember me, she has the worst poker in the world, I mentioned your name and she remembered you, obviously.”

 

“Why did you mention me?” Sharon scowled.

 

“Not the point. She’s reaching out to you because of your connection with me. She obviously feels like something she could say to you would get me off her case. If you have coffee with her and we wire you up we can use whatever she has to say against her.”

 

“I don’t know if I feel comfortable letting you wire me…”

 

“Okay…” Brenda considered this for a moment, “here it is, I’ll call you on your cell phone and then instead of ending the call… you just drop it into your purse and I’ll put my end on mute and we’ll record it back here in the murder room. You’ll have plausible deniability and it’ll all fall on me.”

 

Sharon shook her head, “I don’t want anything to fall on you.” Sharon took Brenda’s hand, “you’re in enough trouble as it is, I want you to beat the rap, not dig yourself a deeper hole.”

 

Brenda sighed and looked frustrated for a minute.

 

“What if…” Sharon started, drawing Brenda’s attention back up to her face. “What if I take her to the LA Café? That place has a great set of security cameras and if she says anything incriminating I’ll help you get a warrant for the tapes.”

 

“I don’t think she’ll go there.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because it doesn’t have a full bar.” Brenda smirked.

 

“We’ll see if she has a different suggestion and we’ll cross that bridge if we come to it.” Sharon pulled her phone out of her pocket and scrolled through her missed calls for Gail’s number and listened to it ring.

 

“Sharon!” The fake enthusiasm oozed through the phone, making Brenda feel sick to her stomach. “I’m so glad you called back, wasn’t sure if you would, I know how busy you are.”

 

“Well, you caught me at the perfect time, I’m just finishing up a case and I have some free time. I’m going to be downtown in about half an hour, how do you feel about LA Café?”

 

“Um, well…”

 

“Have you been there? I’m addicted to their frozen mochas, you seriously have to try it.” Sharon insisted. “I’ll see you there at three? I can really only do today at three, so…”

 

“Absolutely, sounds perfect. I’ll see you then. Bye Shar.”

 

Sharon ended the call and shivered, “God, I hate being called Shar.”

 

“Except when I say it, right?” Brenda batted her eyelashes, “right, Shar-Bear?”

 

Sharon play glared at Brenda. “I really – really and sincerely – hope that this helps with your case because this woman drives me absolutely crazy.”

 

“You and me both, believe me!” Brenda picked up her fork again and started eating.

 

The doorknob was tried and then there was a knock at the door. “Chief? I’ve got Provenza on the phone. He and Flynn just found a Mercedes.”

 

“Okay, thank you, Lieutenant, I’ll be right out.” She rubbed her eyes and looked at Sharon apologetically. “I’m sorry…”

 

“That’s okay, I have to go home and change anyway.”

 

“You’re actually changing for a coffee date with a murderer?” Brenda scoffed.

 

“Brenda, my clothes and hair reek of death.” Sharon insisted. Brenda still looked skeptical and Sharon waved it off, “I didn’t notice it either but you should have seen the looks when I went to pick up the food. Trust me, this whole building probably smells like I do.”

 

Sharon stood up and pulled out a spring roll, “I’m taking this for the road but you can give the rest to your boys.”

 

“What about your boy?”

 

Sharon groaned, “he doesn’t need any encouragement to mooch. He was already moved out when you moved in, you’re lucky. He’s the reason they made an expression ‘give an inch and they take a foot.’ I love him with my whole heart and I would die for him but he’s going to learn independence if he has to starve to death to do it.”

 

“He lived on his own for four years though, right?”

 

“He lived with a girlfriend in San Francisco for two years and he’s lived with a couple of different college friends. He’s never lived on his own. That’s why I’m giving him two weeks to get a job and get gone.”

 

“Two weeks? For a twenty-six year old kid with only four years of work experience? In this economy?”

 

“He’s gonna land on his feet. The kid has a preternatural ability to find a way to get anything he wants. Trust me, he’ll be fine.” Sharon insisted.

 

“Will you call me when you’re almost to the café?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And as soon as you leave?”

 

“Yes.” Sharon smiled at Brenda. “Yes, my darling control freak, a thousand times yes.”

 

“Kiss me before you go.” Brenda objected as Sharon grabbed the doorknob.

 

“You sure you want to kiss me? I smell like death…”

 

“I’m pretty sure you made out with me once when I still had someone’s blood on me so…” she shrugged, “I’ll take one for the team.”

 

Sharon leaned in and kissed Brenda softly before she smiled. “I will give you the play by play details of my coffee date from hell.”

 

“You’re a saint. You’re perfection embodied.”

 

“Stop sucking up. Seriously.” Sharon smiled, she unlocked the door and started for the elevator.

 

“Walk of shame, Captain?” Sanchez leaned back in his chair as she passed.

 

“Eat your heart out, Detective.” Sharon smirked.

 

Had it been any other detective from any other department, Sharon would have promptly ripped him a new asshole. Brenda Leigh Johnson ran Major Crimes unlike any other division in the whole LAPD and her boys were bad mannered and lewd. The times when Brenda and Sharon weren’t together or when they were fighting the boys were unabashedly mean and cruel to Sharon.

 

So instead of bitching about the inappropriateness of the sexual innuendo, she laughed and shook it off – it could have been far worse. Brenda wasn’t the only one who could take one for the team.

 

**

 

Sharon burst into the house and started up the stairs.

 

James popped out of the living room, “oh mom, I’m glad you’re here.” He called out, following her.

 

“James, I’m sorry but I have fifteen minutes to shower and change and then half an hour to get back downtown.”

 

“But I just need you to tell me which tie you like better. I have an interview.”

 

“I only have time to drop everything going on for one person today and Brenda already called it. Why don’t you text your sister about the ties?”

 

“Angela? Are you kidding me?” James demanded.

 

“I’m really not, baby, I have to get in the shower right now.” Sharon insisted.

 

By the time she made it to the top of the stairs James was only a pace behind her but as he approached to stand with her on the landing he stepped back, “geez, mom, what do you smell like?”

 

“I smell like three dead coke addicts.” Sharon snapped, “I have to shower. ”

 

“Sorry.” He mumbled, chastised.

 

Once inside the bathroom she quickly stripped down and threw her clothes in the hamper, removed her glasses and hopped into the shower. The hot water pelting her body was a welcome distraction from the stresses of the day.

 

All the relaxation fell in around her when she grabbed the shampoo bottle and found it empty. She got out of the shower and darted across the room to the cupboard where she kept the extra shampoo… except apparently that had been her last bottle and all that was left was a travel size container of Suave. It would have to do.

 

She emerged from her bedroom a record ten minutes later, still toweling her hair. James was sitting in the kitchen and jumped up to follow her around again as soon as he saw her come in.

 

“Thanks for using up all my shampoo, by the way…” she said pointedly. She looked down at the ties he was holding in his hands and sighed, “I really don’t have time right now… tell you what, you can make the shampoo thing up to me by putting the laundry that’s in the hamper upstairs into the washer for me. Text me the pictures of your ties and I’ll weigh in on it, okay?”

 

He nodded with a sigh, “yeah, okay, I’ll text you.”

 

She tossed her hair towel at him, “toss this into the washer too, will you?”

 

“Gotcha covered, mamacita.”

 

“Good boy.” Sharon grabbed her purse and left the house again.

 

**

 

“Brenda, I’m just on my way in now.”

 

“I was starting to think you’d chickened out.”

 

“How’s that for gratitude?” Sharon sighed, “there was an accident on the freeway, but it only added ten minutes – which in and of itself is a small miracle.”

 

“I love you, you’re the best.” Brenda grinned.

 

“Love you too. Call you when I’m done.” Sharon pocketed her phone and went inside.

 

Gail waved to her from the corner. Sharon had wanted to get there first and seat them as close as possible to the cameras but at least they were close enough to get footage. “I am sorry I’m late.” She apologized as she sat down, “I hit traffic.”

 

“Trust me, I understand about L.A. Traffic.” Gail smiled at Sharon. Sharon was instantly reminded of all the reasons she always disliked this woman. “I got you a frozen mocha.”

 

“Oh, you shouldn’t have. Thank you.” Sharon took a sip. Sharon had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, she hadn’t thought about the fact that she’d actually have to be half of a conversation with Gail.

 

“So, how have you-” No sooner had Sharon started than her phone beeped. For a moment, she was afraid it was Brenda texting for a status update, but sighed heavily when she saw that it was from James.

 

“Oh no, is that work?” Gail questioned.

 

“No… my son,” Sharon pulled up the picture he sent, “he’s going on an interview and he wants me to tell him which tie to wear. Do boys ever grow up, Gail?”

 

Gail rolled her eyes, “my husband is definitely still a boy, I’ll let you know if he ever matures.”

 

“I don’t know, what color ties would impress graphic designers?” Sharon shrugged, “I don’t know why he thinks I have all the answers.”

 

“Enjoy it while it lasts, once they pick colleges you’re practically dead to them.”

 

Sharon looked up at Gail over her glasses, “my son is twenty-six.”

 

Gail laughed, “honey, you need something stronger than this. Come on, there’s a place around the corner that makes an amazing mimosa.”

 

“No… I’m still on the clock. Rain check though.” Sharon slowly felt her prim and proper old-money lady’s training start to kick in. “So, this was an unexpected invitation, what made you think of me today?”

 

“I had a meeting with Barbara Johnson.”

 

“Brenda.” Sharon corrected, “Brenda Leigh Johnson.”

 

Gail giggled, “whoops. Frankly, I couldn’t concentrate on anything she said, that accent was just too adorable.”

 

Sharon had to fight back the mother of all sickened glares. Brenda’s accent was the only thing on her mind? Not the young girl who’d been mowed down? Whether Gail Meyers had been behind the wheel or not, she certainly didn’t seem to have any feelings for anything or anyone other than herself.

 

“You’re not still with her, are you?” Gail sipped her drink.

 

Sharon was catching whiffs of alcohol every now and then and she was starting to wonder if Gail had taken the liberty of making her coffee a little more Irish. “Um… we broke up a couple of months ago, actually.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“She was just too obsessed with the job. It didn’t leave a lot of time for us. I admire her a lot, of course, she always catches the killer she’s looking for. She has a single-minded, fanatical focus on whatever case she’s working on. She’s like a dog with a bone.” Sharon ate a glob of the whipped cream from the top of her drink, “I’ll tell you what, I hope to never be on the wrong side of her interrogation table.”

 

“Is that right?”

 

Sharon wasn’t sure if it was her imagination or not, but Gail was starting to look pale. “So, why did you have a meeting with her?”

 

“You won’t believe this but my car was stolen last night. Brandy just asked me to-”

 

“Brenda.” Sharon corrected, “Brenda Leigh Johnson.”

 

Gail snickered, clearly she didn’t think that Brenda’s name was of any real importance. “Right. Well, she just called and wanted me to answer a few questions about the car.” Gail took a big gulp of coffee, “do you keep in touch with Josh Lewis at all?”

 

“Why? You looking for a lawyer?”

 

“You two just made such a nice couple I don’t know why you ever broke up with him.” Gail shook her head, “broke the poor boy’s heart.”

 

Sharon rolled her eyes, “we’re not going to fight about something that happened in college, are we?”

 

“You always were the love ‘em and leave ‘em type, though.” Gail muttered into her coffee, “several times a week, if memory serves.”

 

Sharon heaved a heavy sigh. The things one does for love… Brenda better appreciate what she was going through for her.

 

“Well, it was the seventies.”

 

“Even still…”

 

“Gail, I’m trying not to get mad but you’re making it kind of hard.” Sharon said with resignation. “Did you call me for some reason or should we just call this a bust and forget each other’s numbers?”

 

“No, no, I’m sorry. Stay.” Gail made herself smile, “so, no? You don’t still talk to Josh?”

 

Sharon shrugged and sighed a little, “occasionally. He’s my daughter’s boss.”

 

“Really? No ulterior motives there at all, right?” Gail scoffed.

 

“My daughter is an excellent lawyer; she was second in her class, she had her pick of firms.”

 

Gail held up her hands, “didn’t mean to offend. So, how many kids do you have anyway?”

 

“Just the two.”

 

“I only have one, a daughter. She’s getting ready to go off to college in the fall, she-” Gail was interrupted when Sharon’s phone rang and she picked it up to look at it. Gail laughed, “let me guess, your son needs to know which shoes to wear?”

 

“Actually, it’s one of my sergeants, I have to take this. Won’t be a moment.” Sharon stood from the table, “Sergeant Eliot, what can I do for you?”

 

Sharon listened and nodded, “okay. Secure the scene, make sure no one else goes in there, just close the door and wait for me. Thank you.” She paused, “no, no, you did exactly what you should have. I can be there… in fifteen? Okay, yes. Thank you.”

 

“You have to go.” Gail said, standing.

 

“Yes, there’s a situation that needs my presence.” Sharon slung the bag over her shoulder and picked up her coffee. “Sorry to cut our coffee date short.”

 

“No, you’re not, but that’s okay.” Gail smiled, she approached and gave Sharon a hug. Sharon stiffened at the contact. Sharon was sure that she could smell traces of alcohol on the other woman and she was angry all over again. “Maybe we’ll get that drink sometime.”

 

“You can call any time.” Sharon made herself smile.

 

“Tell Bethany I said hi.”

 

“Brenda Leigh Johnson.” Sharon nodded, “and I will.”

 

Safely in her car and on her way back to the LAPD she dialed Brenda. “I’m just leaving the café.”

 

“Really? That was fast.”

 

“Well, apart from her being the worst person in the world to attempt conversation with, Sergeant Elliot called me, there was an in-custody death down in Vice.”

 

“A prostitute?”

 

“I guess it was a pimp. I don’t know, I’m headed back now.” Sharon used her knee to hold the wheel for a moment to sip her mocha. “She didn’t really say that much, she called you an airhead, called me a slut and we called it a day.”

 

Brenda hmphed.

 

“But she smelled like alcohol, if that helps at all. She hugged me when we were leaving and she definitely smelled like alcohol.”

 

“It does, thank you for doing that for me, Sharon.”

 

“I’m sorry it wasn’t more helpful – not just for you but also to justify my going.” Sharon sighed, “she’s just as awful as she was thirty years ago. People never change.”

 

“No, they don’t…” Brenda chewed her lip, “Sharon! That gives me an idea! Thank you, I love you! Talk to you later!”

 

“I lo-” Sharon pulled the phone back to look at it, she’d hung up. Sharon couldn’t not laugh at Brenda, she loved her enthusiasm. She dropped her phone back into her purse.

 

**

 

Sharon took her glasses off and rubbed her eyes, glad that her paperwork was almost done. Letting out a sigh she put her glasses back on. She started typing again and managed to write three paragraphs before her phone rang.

 

“Captain Raydor,” she announced, cradling the phone between her ear and her shoulder, her eyes never leaving the screen.

 

“Oh good, I caught you.” Brenda smiled, “how long are you going to be at the office?”

 

“Another hour probably.” Sharon sighed, “Normally I don’t catch two cases in a day but since a suspect died in the care of a Commander I had to handle it personally.”

 

“Are both of your cases solved?”

 

“Sure are. Now I’m just scaling a mountain of paperwork.” Sharon took her glasses off again, feeling the tiredness in her eyes.

 

“Could you stop in about half an hour and pick up tomorrow morning?”

 

“Sure. I still have over 48 hours to file the reports on both of them. The only thing is I’d be risking catching a lot more work tomorrow.” Sharon shrugged, “but on the other hand I’m not on top of my game right now and could definitely use a break.”

 

“Glad to hear it. Meet me in the parking garage in half an hour?”

 

**

 

Sharon was leaning against her car when Brenda pulled up in front of it. “Should I bring my car?”

 

“No, I’ll bring you back to it if you want.” Brenda unlocked the door and Sharon settled in. “It’s good to see you.”

 

“It’s good to see you too.” Sharon cupped Brenda’s cheek and kissed her softly.

 

“Gail Meyers is going to jail and I brought you a cup of coffee.” Brenda held out the steaming mug to Sharon.

 

Sharon smiled with ecstasy. “I don’t know which of those things makes me happier.”

 

Brenda drove out of the parking garage and merged into traffic. “I have to say that I’m feeling pretty good right now. Things between us are going really well and I managed to bring a killer to justice despite political pressure.”

 

“Good for you, Brenda.” Sharon smiled, leaning back against the seat and sipping the hot coffee. “I’m proud of you, I really am.”

 

Brenda smiled at Sharon, even more pleased than before.

 

“So where are we going?”

 

“It’s a surprise.”

 

“Oh, I love surprises.”

 

“I know you do.” Brenda turned to look behind her before switching lanes. “You just relax and I’ll let you know when we’re there.”

 

“I might close my eyes for a few minutes. My eyes are tired from staring at the computer for so long.” Sharon admitted. Her fingers gripped the warm ceramic mug, warming her.

 

The two drove in comfortable silence. Sharon watched the city go by with vague interest, allowing Brenda to lead her wherever it was they were going. She started to pay closer attention when they left the city behind and entered the more rural area.

 

“Do you know where we’re going?”

 

“Not a clue. I’m completely bewildered.”

 

Brenda brought the car to a stop and put it into park. “Here we are.”

 

“Wow… I haven’t seen the city from up high in a long time. Never ceases to take my breath away.”

 

Brenda opened the door and went to grab a few things from the backseat. “I googled city overlooks.” She dropped the armload of things on the ground and started to assemble the folding chairs.

 

“Let me help,” Sharon insisted, getting out of the car and joining Brenda.

 

“I wanted to bring you up here and watch the sunset.” Brenda smiled, looking to Sharon for approval.

 

Sharon grinned. “I love it.”

 

Brenda held up two plastic champagne flutes. “Sparkling cider?”

 

Sharon wasn’t sure she’d seen this spontaneous romantic side of Brenda in a long while but was glad to see it reemerging. She was always charmed by it. “Please.”

 

Their chairs were pushed close together so that they could hold hands, they stared out at the setting sun appreciatively.

 

“There are just some days you’re glad to say goodbye to.” Brenda started, “today has certainly been a roller coaster. I wanted to commemorate the end of today and remind you how glad I am and how lucky I am to be spending time with you.”

 

Sharon gave her hand a squeeze. “Here’s to us and many more days and nights together.”

 

Brenda tapped her glass against Sharon’s and smiled.

 

**

 

By the time she got home, Sharon was exhausted and in need of a much needed rest. The readout on the microwave said nine but she felt like she’d been up for three days at least.

 

“Thanks a lot for texting me back about the ties.” James snapped, entering from the living room.

 

“Oh, James, I’m sorry. I was so busy today.”

 

“Whatever,” James rolled his eyes, “it’s not like it was an important interview or anything.”

 

“I said I was sorry.” Sharon scowled as she walked toward the laundry room. She opened the dryer and peered into the empty void. “Where’s my laundry?”

 

“What do you mean where is it? It’s in the washer.” James rolled his eyes again, watching from the doorway.

 

She opened the washer and pulled out the skirt from her skirt suit. “You didn’t _wash_ it?”

 

“You said put it in the washer! I put it in the washer!”

 

“Do not tell me you didn’t understand that I meant to wash them. You’re twenty-six years old, for christ’s sake.” Sharon snapped. “I asked you to do one damn thing. You’re not an insolent teenager anymore, you’re an adult: start acting like it!”

 

“That’s exactly it, isn’t it? You spent our entire childhoods waiting for us to grow up but I’ll never be grown up enough for you!” James frowned, “you’re always telling me to grow up.”

 

“Oh my god, what a horrible mother I am for asking her adult son to act like an adult!” Sharon drawled, “how can you even _stand_ it?!” Sharon grabbed the detergent and threw it into wash before slamming the top shut and turning it on.

 

“You’re not even going to ask how my interview went?”

 

“How could I? As soon as I walked through the door you jumped down my throat!” Sharon gritted her teeth, “of course I want to know how your interview went. I’m interested in your life and I want you to succeed because I’m your mother and I love you!”

 

“Do you mind saying that again without the attitude?” James folded his arms across his chest.”

 

Sharon held up her arms in defeat. “Can we resume this argument in the morning? I’ve had a very long day complete with _four_ dead bodies.”

 

“And that’s just it then. Just like always. _You_ had to deal with dead people so everything else just has to wait.”

 

“You know what?” Sharon went back out into the foyer and grabbed her purse and coat. “Forget it. I’m not doing this with you right now. I’m not. We can talk about it tomorrow. Goodnight, James.” 


	14. Silent Partner

Sharon followed Brenda down the hallway, trying to catch up with her before the elevator whisked her away.

 

“Brenda, are you going where I think you’re going?” She asked in a low, serious tone.

 

“I need to finish my conversation with Mr. Evans.”

 

“Without backup?” Sharon demanded, “you just sent out your entire squad.”

 

“They can’t know.” Brenda breathed, the pain in her voice was almost tangible as she spoke.

 

Sharon nodded understandly but looked sadly at her girlfriend. She put out a hand suddenly, blocking the sensor so the doors wouldn’t close. “I love you, you know that. I think what you’re doing is reckless and dangerous – but I know that’s who you are and this is what you need to do, you need to do this for yourself and I get that.”

 

“I love you, too, Sharon, thank you for understanding.” Brenda whispered.

 

“Be safe, will you?”

 

Brenda nodded. Sharon removed her hand and Brenda reached out, stopping the elevator doors again. “Maybe… would you ride down with me?”

 

Sharon stepped onto the elevator and the doors slid shut.

 

They were silent for a few long moments before Brenda turned and wrapped her arms around Sharon. She gave her a squeeze and leaned her head against Sharon’s. “No matter what happens… today or tomorrow or the next day… you are what’s most important to me.”

 

Sharon ran her fingers through Brenda’s hair, “just promise me you’ll be careful.”

 

Brenda leaned in and whispered, “the FBI is going to have my back. I’m going to make sure that I come back to you. You can’t tell anybody about the FBI though.”

 

“Deal.” Sharon smiled, suddenly feeling a lot better about Brenda’s plan.

 

The elevator reached the ground floor and the doors slid open. “I guess this is you.” Sharon said softly.

 

Brenda stepped out of the elevator, still holding Sharon’s hand. Their pinkies still linked, Brenda turned to Sharon. “Would you consider marrying me?”

 

“What?”

 

“I’ve been trying to figure out the best time to ask you but there hasn’t really been a great time and I just couldn’t not ask any longer.” Brenda let go of Sharon’s hand and smiled, “don’t answer now, okay? Tonight I’m going to take you out to dinner, you can tell me then.”

 

Sharon was stunned as she watched Brenda walk toward the main entrance and the elevator doors slid shut. The elevator was as motionless as she was for a long moment before she absently pressed the button for her floor. As it ascended Sharon let out a deep breath. She had said many times before that she wasn’t interested in getting married again and she’d meant it at the time. Now that Brenda had actually asked she wasn’t sure.

 

Sharon felt worlds better knowing that the FBI would be Brenda’s back up. She actually felt completely fine with it knowing that Fritz Howard had Brenda’s back. She knew how much he loved Brenda and he hadn’t been a legitimate threat to their relationship in years. He would protect her to the ends of the earth.

 

If Sharon herself couldn’t be there to protect her, Fritz Howard surely was the next best thing.

 

She stepped out of the elevator and walked down the hall by muscle memory. This was exactly the sort of thing she might talk to Angela about but Sharon was still fighting with James. The only fight that Sharon couldn’t count on Angela’s unwaivering support was in a fight with James. Angela would always stick up for her little brother.

 

If she wanted to talk to Angela she’d have to make up with James first. It seemed a waste of perfectly good silent treatment. She’d gone four whole days completely avoiding her son.

 

“The lovely and talented, Captain Sharon Raydor.”

 

“Gavin,” Sharon turned around to face him.

 

“I don’t believe it. Tell me it isn’t true.” Gavin grinned.

 

“Tell you what isn’t true?” She smiled as he took her hands.

 

“You did not birth two amazing and perfect children and get this figure back.” He held her out at arms length again and looked her over. “You had a surrogate, right?”

 

“No, I birthed the brats and I’ve got the excruciatingly long home movies to prove it.” Sharon regarded him with suspicion, “are you trying to say that you’ve recently met my son?”

 

“Yeah, at the office.” Gavin looked at her with some confusion. “Didn’t Angela tell you she got him a job?”

 

Sharon narrowed her eyes with scrutiny. “No…”

 

“Yep, Angela got him a temp gig working for Josh. He’s working on a big case and the plaintiff is trying to bury him in paperwork. James is going to have a lot of reading to do this upcoming month.”

 

“Oh good. So James and Angela are going to get even closer and James is going to hang out with Josh…” Sharon rubbed her eyes. “Great.”

 

“So… not good?” Gavin furrowed his brow, “well, sorry to be the bearer of bad news then…”

 

Sharon shook her head, “forget it.” She glanced at her phone. “So it seems like today might spell the end of the lawsuit, must be a relief.”

 

“Honey, your woman is fabulous, I have nothing but the utmost respect for her and her work but sometimes she drives me up the fricking wall, she’s such a handful.”

 

“Yeah, I hear you.” Sharon snickered. She checked her phone again.

 

“Expecting a call?”

 

“Um… sort of, not exactly…” Sharon bit her lip. “But I wouldn’t get this hypothetical call for a while anyway so…”

 

“Where is the Georgian Spitfire?”

 

“She’s…” Sharon let out a breath. “She made an emergency run for some hostess snack cakes. You know how she gets.”

 

Gavin nodded, “alright, well, we’ve got Goldman sweating bullets which is thanks in no small part to you and your tireless efforts.”

 

“Well, it’s my job…” Sharon said, absently looking back down to her phone, “would you excuse me? I… I just have to make a call.” She breezed by Gavin and walked into the Major Crimes conference room and closed and locked the door. She pulled the blinds shut and sat down.

 

She wasn’t going to be able to focus on anything until she knew that Brenda was alright so she’d just have to wait.

 

Sharon had laid her head down on the table and she startled upright when her phone vibrated. “Oh!” She fumbled to answer it and put it ot her ear, “Captain Raydor.”

 

“Sharon,” Brenda breathed on the other end. “I’m just on my way back downtown. We got him, we got Marvin.”

 

There was a knock on the conference room door. “Oh, darling, I’m so glad you’re okay, I have to go someone’s knocking. I’ll see you in about ten?”

 

Sharon ended the call, slipped the phone into her pocket and got up from the table, she smoothed her hair down and went to open the door. Gavin stuck his head in, “hello there, beautiful, got some light reading for you. When the FBI called and let us know that they were tapping into Marvin Evans apartment Goldman got antsy and we’ve reached an agreement. It just needs the professional standards seal of approval.”

 

“Let me see it.” Sharon held her hand out for it.

 

“The bottom line is Brenda’s being dropped from the suit, that’s really the most important thing.”

 

“Give it to me, please?” Sharon wiggled her fingers for it; Gavin passed it to her. “Thank you.”

 

**

 

Sharon burst into Pope’s office. Pope had been talking to Goldman and looked up with mild exapseration when he saw Sharon. “You know, knocking on someone’s door before entering is considered a sign of respect in some cultures.

 

“She’s not going to go for this.” Sharon dropped it on Pope’s desk. “State court found her not guilty, in case you forgot. This special order is nothing but bullying.”

 

“Captain-”

 

“Not all of LA is safe, this special order would make it impossible for suspects or witnesses who live in bad neighborhoods to be dropped off at their homes-”

 

“Ms. Johnson dropped Tyrell Baylor off in front of a gang of people.” Goldman insisted.

 

“Who lived in the neighborhood. It is gang territory, Mr. Goldman. I am in favor of anything that makes my job easier but this special order is a blatant final jab at Chief Johnson and as head of professional standards and chair of the LAPD Women’s committee I won’t sign off on this.”

 

“Frankly, Captain, I’m less than surprised that you feel this way.” Pope admitted.

 

“Not six months ago when the suspect in Major Crimes’s interview room shot himself after realizing he couldn’t shoot Chief Johnson the special rule was not named for the bonehead detective that didn’t find it during his search. Naming this rule after Chief Johnson is a slap in the face and it is a completely unprovoked slap in the face. She works tirelessly to solve murders, she never works less hard just because a victim is of questionable moral character. Over my years here I have seen many detectives give up on gang members and prostitutes but never Chief Johnson. Even I took the position in Professional Standards so I could have a break from standing up for cop killers. Chief Johnson is in this job because she gives a shit and because she cares about justice for every victim.” Sharon snapped, “I will not stand here while you drag her name through the mud.”

 

Pope nodded, “yes. You will stand there and you’ll be quiet because Brenda has been dropped from the lawsuit which means that neither you nor she has any say in the contents of this agreement.”

 

Sharon took in a shaking breath, feeling her whole body overcome with anger.

 

“The only reason this agreement was given to you at all is because you do run professional standards and you’ve been a big part of this internal investigation but now that Brenda’s not on the lawsuit your services aren’t required.” Pope said, standing and feeling self-conscious that Sharon’s high heels made her the same height as him. “When Brenda comes in you just stand there.”

 

Sharon pursed her lips and crossed her arms.

 

**

 

Brenda walked into the murder room, Gabriel greeted her by saying, "when the boys found out that the FBI had established a wire in Marvin's condo, it was like a competition to see who could get their story out before he did."

 

"At least now no one can say that we didn't follow through with Tyrell Baylor to the bitter end." Taylor said with disdain.

 

"Well, not so bitter though we are at the end of things finally." Gavin motioned for Brenda to follow him down the hall, “shall we?”

 

Brenda and Gavin entered Pope’s office. Goldman diverted his eyes and Sharon stood unnoticed in the corner still fuming with ire.

 

Pope smiled and indicated the agreement on the desk in front of him. "Chief Johnson, this agreement really is beneficial to all parties involved, uh, I don't know that you even need to read it." He shrugged, trying to play it off without a scene. He knew that as big of a scene as Sharon made he could expect one at least twice as big from Brenda.

 

“Oh, I think she does.” Sharon snapped from the corner. Brenda turned around and was about to give Sharon a small smile before noting the look of quiet rage on her face.

 

“Well, she can if she wants to but she’s been dropped from the suit.” Gavin said pointedly.

 

“I have?” The note of enthusiasm in Brenda’s voice was palpable.

 

“Yes, you have!” Gavin grinned, “and the good people of Los Angeles will be paying Mr. Goldman a million dollars assessment.”

 

“Which won’t even cover my expenses…” Goldman grumbled.

 

“But what about clearin’ my name in court?”  

 

“Look, listen…” Pope said, holding up a hand in an attempt to keep her calm, “I know this is maybe not everything you were hoping for but you’re off the hook for any damages.”

 

“Well I don’t care what the city or the department decides, I don’t agree with this.” Brenda frowned.

 

“It doesn't matter if you agree or not, dear, you're no longer being sued so we can settle without you.” Gavin smirked, “And in return we're agreeing not to bring charges of misconduct against Peter here or working to have his law license revoked or causing him any number of the ten thousand perfectly legal problems I'd just love throw his way.”

 

“ _The Johnson Rule_? What the hell is that?” Brenda raged, looking up at the men in front of her with fire in her eyes.

 

“Oh, didn’t they tell you? To satisfy my concerns and those of my clients and to make sure they don’t refile using other legal representation your attorney and the Chief of Police-”

 

“Alright, shut up.” Pope held a halting hand up to Goldman. He took a deep breath, trying to decide how to continue and upset Brenda as little as possible. “The Johnson Rule is essentially… it’s a silly… obvious special order that Goldman wants… that says the LAPD cannot knowingly release a suspect or witness into a hostile or dangerous environment… it’s… no big deal.”

 

“If it’s no big deal why don’t they call it the Pope Rule? Or the Baker Rule? Or the Raydor Rule?” She glanced back at Sharon, who looked just as pained as Brenda felt. She turned back to Gavin, nostrils flaring, “how could you let this happen? Puttin’ my name on a special order like this makes it sound like I did something wrong. I just solved the murder I was accused of plannin’! How could you let this happen?”

 

“I’m _sorry_ …” Gavin furrowed his brow in annoyance, “I just saved you from a civil rights action that could have cost you your career and everything you own and this is the thanks I get?”

 

“ _No, no, no_!” Brenda shrieked, standing and pointing an accusing finger at Gavin, “ _this_ is the thanks you get: _you’re fired. Disgraceful!_ You’re selling me out!” Brenda punctuated her point by storming from the room.

 

Sharon cast one last glare at Pope before following Brenda out into the hallway.

 

“What’d I tell you?” Pope sighed, glancing at Gavin.

 

Gavin shook his head with disbelief. “My god… the ingratitude!”

 

“Shocking, isn’t it?” Goldman added.

 

“Alright. _You_. Seriously. _Shut-up_.” Pope snarled at Goldman. 

 

**

 

“Brenda,” Sharon called, hurrying down the hallway after her.

 

“Please… don’t talk to me right now. I know you refused all the settlements, I know it’s not your fault but I… I just don’t want to talk about it right now.”

 

Sharon nodded, “don’t talk then: listen.” She started, waiting a moment for Brenda to object. “I know this didn’t end the way we wanted but right now considering the list of suspects he gave us there is a chance that Peter Goldman will be in danger the moment he leaves this building… so what do you want me to do about that?”

 

Brenda shrugged with resignation, “ask Goldman to reveal his source inside Major Crimes _nicely_ and if he refuses, well… order him protection whether he likes it or not.”

 

Sharon nodded, “that is the right an honorable thing to do.”

 

“It’s the _Johnson Rule_ , Sharon…” Brenda sighed and rubbed her eyes, “thank you.”

 

Sharon nodded and Brenda made haste for her office, closing the door and drawing the blinds. Brenda would need time to lick her wounds and Sharon would let her have that. Sharon also needed a bit of time to calm down before she could hope to talk reasonably about the situation.

 

Her mind went back to Goldman: it _was_ the right and honourable thing to do to assign him a protection detail… and it was probably also the first time in her career that she didn’t _want_ to do the right and honourable thing. She did not want to be party to preserving Goldman. As far as Sharon was concerned Goldman may as well have pulled the trigger and shot J-Roc himself and the fact that no legal action would be brought against him at all was probably the most shameful part.

 

But then there was also the look in Brenda’s eyes. That look of pain and disappointment was excruciating and she could see it in her mind’s eye.

 

She saw Goldman starting down the hallway and had to resist the urge to grab him by the lapels and slam him against the wall and pistol whip him.

 

“Captain Raydor.” He greeted cooly.

 

She moved to stand between him and the elevator buttons. “Mr. Goldman. Ready to reveal your source in Major Crimes?”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“In light of your involvement with various members of the 1-10 Crips and recent events, it is the opinion of this office that you could be in danger. Would you like a protection detail?”

 

“What I’d _like_ is for you to get out of my way.”

 

“So are you rejecting a protection detail?”

 

“Look, _Sharon_ ,” Goldman said condescendingly, “completely off the record, you have been a gigantic pain in my ass. You are the equally objectionable antithesis of Chief Johnson. Her callous disregard for the rules and your incessant use of ten dollar words and overly formal language to both disarm and manipulate people are exactly what’s wrong with the police department today.”

 

“Well, _Peter_ , also completely off the record, it is my hope that you get exactly what’s coming to you – whatever that may be. Defense attorneys like you who pick apart good cops are what is currently erroding the effectiveness of police work. Chief Johnson is the best kind of police officer there is. I aspire to be as good of a police officer as she is.”

 

“Then you truly deserve each other.” Goldman frowned, “now get out of my way.”

 

Sharon stepped aside and motioned to the elevator. Goldman pressed the button and stood staring at the elevator door for a few awkward moments, feeling Sharon’s eyes boring into him. He was all too relieved when the elevator doors slid open and he took shelter in the metal box that usually caused him some anxiety.

 

Sharon chewed her lip thoughtfully. All the pieces were on the board and she was pretty sure she could move in just the right way to achieve a checkmate.

 

The first thing she did was order Goldman’s protection detail. Loath though she was to officially go on record of being concerned for Goldman’s well-being she needed him alive to really have satisfaction at the end of the end of this fiasco.

 

The next thing to do was give an old friend a call.

 

“Josh Lewis’s office.”

 

Sharon heaved an inner sigh, “hi James.”

 

“Mom?” He asked with surprise.

 

“Can I speak with Josh?”

 

“Why?”

 

“Sweetheart, just do it. It’s your job, right?”

 

James grumbled but put the call on hold. He got up from his desk and knocked on Josh’s door opening it enough to stand in the doorway. “You have a call on line 1.”

 

“Who is it?”

 

“Um, Sharon Raydor.”

 

“Thank you, James.” Josh sat up a little straighter. “Why don’t you go get yourself a cup of coffee? Take your time.”

 

James nodded slowly. “Alright, thank you.” He closed the door and furrowed his brow.

 

**

 

“Hey sis, question for you.” James said from Angela’s doorway.

 

“James, can it wait, I’m pretty busy.” She sighed, not looking up from her computer.

 

“Mom knows Josh Lewis?”

 

Angela immediately stopped typing and turned to her brother, “yeah, they went to Stanford together and they went out on a couple of dates while mom and Brenda were broken up. Why do you ask?”

 

“Oh, no reason, other than mom just called and asked to talk to Josh and he told me to take coffee break and that I should, quote, take my time, end quote.”

 

Angela heaved a heavy sigh, “oh great.”

 

**

 

When Sharon arrived home the sun was just setting behind her house and there was a girlfriend waiting on her front stoop. She smiled, “fancy seeing you here.”

 

“I should’ve called… I’m just in such a daze right now…”

 

“It’s understandable.” Sharon sank to sit next to her, “I’m glad you’re here though.”

 

“You are?” Brenda perked up a bit, “I’m not dropping myself off into hostile territory?”

 

“Well… it’s a little hostile in the sense that I’ve intentionally avoided seeing James for four days but between you and I? No, not hostile.” They were silent for a few minutes, “are you all packed?”

 

Brenda nodded, “yeah, flight’s tomorrow at six in the morning… I wish you could come for the whole time.”

 

Sharon put an arm around Brenda, “I wish I could too but I’ll be there in a couple of weeks and this way you’ll have more time to spend with your parents without having to worry about me too. Your mother fusses so much when I’m there and this way all the focus can be on your father.”

 

Brenda laughed a little, “it’s true, she never cleans as much as when you visit – which is really saying something.” Brenda leaned her head against Sharon’s and turned serious, “I’m still gonna miss you though.”

 

“I’m going to miss you too…”

 

They sat on the stoop in silence as the sun sank further down in the sky and the shadow from the house cast them into darkness.

 

“Brenda… about what you asked me earlier…”

 

Brenda shook her head, “please, don’t answer now, I can’t handle any more bad news.”

 

“How about some good news then?” Sharon smiled and turned to Brenda and took her hands, “I would love nothing more than to marry you.”

 

Brenda let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding and her eyes welled up with tears. “You will?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I kind of thought you’d say no… I’m so glad I was wrong. _Oh!_ ” Brenda let go of Sharon’s hands and pulled her gigantic purse onto her lap, “hold that thought.” She said as she pawed through its contents with fervor.

 

Sharon peered cautiously at what Brenda was doing.

 

Suddenly she produced a small velvet box, “aha!” She grinned with embarrassment, a slight flush in her cheeks, “I’ve been carrying this around for a week… I’ve wanted to ask you for so long… I can’t live without you, Sharon.”

 

Sharon sighed coquettishly, “when you do romantic you really go all out, don’t you?”

 

“This was my grandmother’s,” Brenda opened the box and looked at it for a long moment before turning it to Sharon, “my mother gave it to me last year and every time I look at it all I can think of are your beautiful eyes.”

 

“It’s really beautiful, Brenda.”

 

Brenda plucked it from the box and held out her hand for Sharon’s. Sharon placed her hand over Brenda’s and Brenda slid the white gold band onto Sharon’s finger. The emerald in the center was an octagon cut and it was flanked on both sides by a pair of small round cut diamonds.

 

Wrapping an arm around Brenda’s neck, Sharon pulled her close and leaned her head against Brenda’s. She pulled her closer and kissed her softly.

 

“I want you to move back in… if you’d like I can arrange to have your things brought here while you’re at your parents’ so that when you get back it’ll be like you never left.”

 

Brenda grinned, “I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.”


	15. Hostile Witness

“Ohhhh fuck…” Sharon ground out in a long, low growl. 

Brenda had her stunning girlfriend pinned up against the filing cabinet in her office and her three fingers pushed up into her. If Brenda had her way every day would begin like this: ruffling the put together Captain, hearing the curses and affirmations fall from her lips unbidden. 

Sharon’s muscles clenched down on Brenda’s fingers almost painfully. Sharon bit down into her lip, stifling the inevitably loud moan that came with the powerful release. 

Brenda’s spare arm held her tightly against her body as she came down from the endorphin high that had just surged through her. Brenda peppered kisses along Sharon’s collarbone and neck and up to her face. These fleeting moments after orgasm were when Sharon was at her most docile and Brenda intended to savor these moments. 

Sharon grinned against Brenda’s lips when they touched gingerly. 

Brenda reached behind Sharon’s head and pulled a tissue out from the box and wiped off her fingers. 

“Cheeky.” Sharon teased, her dulcet tones only serving to send a surge of arousal through her partner. 

Brenda ran her tongue over Sharon’s bottom lip before sucking it into her mouth and releasing it. “I have to get to work,” Brenda whispered. 

“Yes, you do.” Sharon agreed, “so do I. Want to have lunch today if the opportunity presents?” 

Brenda nodded, smiling at her girlfriend. She took Sharon’s left hand and brought it up to her lips and pressed a soft kiss to the ring. “Yeah, yeah,” Sharon pulled her hand back, “get out of here. You don’t own me.” She said playfully. 

Brenda left the office, grin still spread across her face. Sharon couldn’t help but smile as she sat down at her desk to reapply her lip stain. Brenda was waiting at the elevator bank when Sharon joined her. 

“Forget somethin’?”

“Uh… no… you’re investigating a case where Phillip Stroh is your lead suspect and he was a part of the federal lawsuit against you.” Sharon said slowly, searching Brenda’s face for any signs of recollection. “I’m still looking for the leak in your division…”

Brenda scoffed, “what on earth for? The lawsuit is over, who’s the leak gonna have left to inform? _You_?” 

Sharon rolled her eyes, “wouldn’t that be great…” 

The elevator doors slid open and the two women stepped in. They were silent on the ride down. Sharon understood Brenda’s reluctance: she loved all of her boys and the very idea that one of them would betray her was unfathomable. Whomever the leak turned out to be… it would break Brenda’s heart. 

Sharon Raydor believed in the sanctity of the bond between members of the LAPD – whether others wanted to acknowledge it or not – and she was fiercely protective of Brenda. She did not believe there was any place for an officer in the LAPD who would go behind the back of his superior officer anonymously and with such cowardice. Brenda deserved better than that; the LAPD deserved better than that. 

The elevator doors opened again and they got out and walked into the bullpen. Sharon shoved her hands into her pockets and followed behind Brenda. 

Brenda launched into her instructions for the morning and Sharon hung back, paying closer attention to the room’s other occupants rather than Brenda’s words. She glanced at Flynn who raised his eyebrows suggestively and mouthed “nice hair.” 

Sharon smirked and shrugged, mouthing back, “jealous?” 

He snickered and turned his full attention back to Brenda. Sharon and Flynn had developed a certain camaraderie in the preceding several months that was refreshing to her. She would not allow herself to let her growing fondness for him cloud out the possibility of his being the leak until she could say who it was beyond a shadow of a doubt. 

The group started disbanding and she snapped out of her thoughts. She waited until everyone dispersed and set about their tasks to take up root in one of the conference rooms. She had several boxes of files to go over with a fine tooth comb and they weren’t going to read themselves. 

Sharon had scarcely gotten through a half of one of the boxes before she was called to Pope’s office. Hands stuck in her pockets with indifference, she asked, “you summoned, Chief?”

“Um, yes.” He nodded, regarding Sharon strangely for a moment. “It’s Chief Johnson.” 

Sharon waited for him to elaborate and when he didn’t immediately continue, she coaxed, “yes, what about her?” 

“Were you aware of her obsession with Phillip Stroh?” 

“I am aware that she has the original case file.” 

“And you’ve never attempted to persuade her to let it go?”

She narrowed her eyes at Pope. She questioned his motives, now more than ever. “We all have that one case that sticks with us.” Sharon wouldn’t allow herself to dwell on hers in that moment and she quickly added. “But no. We keep our personal and professional lives separate – having managed to maintain a very good balance for the last six years. A fact for which we have been praised by both of your predecessors.” 

“She needs to be reeled in. She’s going at Stroh too hard and it’s going to get her into trouble.” 

Sharon snorted a small laugh, “Brenda lives in trouble.” 

“Okay, Captain. That’s it.”

“So I can go back to my work now?”

“Yes, you can go.” Pope waved her off. Sharon turned around to leave. “Oh, but Captain?”

She slowly turned back to him. “Yes?”

“If you observe any questionable conduct by Chief Johnson – either professionally _or_ personally – I expect to be notified.” 

“Actually, _sir_ , as a member of Professional Standards if I am witness to any conduct which violates the LAPD’s code of conduct I am required to file my report with the State Attorney General’s office to avoid biased actions on the part of superior officers of the LAPD.” 

“Of course.” He nodded though he glared at her back as she walked out of the office. She could already tell this was going to be one of those days. 

**

Brenda pushed open the door to the conference room with her butt, carrying an armload of lunch and set it down on the table away from the files that Sharon was reading. Sharon put down the one she was holding and rubbed her eyes, “thank god it’s finally lunchtime.” 

“You still doin’ that?” Brenda looked at the stack of papers over the rims of her glasses judgmentally. 

“Yes.” Sharon set her pen down. “I’m still doing this.” 

“Have lunch with me.” Brenda pulled out container after container of thai food and set it down on the table before taking out plates. “Why are you doing that?” 

“Because I enjoy doing tedious tasks for very little payout. I’m a masochist.” Sharon bit into an egg roll. “Yellow curry?”

“Right here.” Brenda pushed the container toward her.

Sharon opened the box and took a big bite. The heat of the curry spread through her head, causing her eyes to water a little. “How’s search for Natalie going?” 

“Well, we’ve found her, David’s picking her up.” 

“Baldwin’s pretty pissed off at you for provoking that mistrial.” 

Brenda shrugged, “I know, collateral damage.” 

“Pope too.” 

Brenda rolled her eyes, “Will…” 

“I don’t know why all these people insist on coming to me when they want you to do something – or not do something.” 

“They’re wising up. They know you’re the only one I’ll listen to.” 

Sharon laughed, “bullshit. You’ve got me wrapped around your little finger.” 

“Oh, it’s mutual.” Brenda leaned in and Sharon met her in the middle, their lips brushing one another’s. 

Someone cleared their throat from the doorway and Brenda looked up. “Yes, lieutenant, how can I help you?” 

“We have Natalie Gilbert in the conference room. She knows her real name.” 

“Alright, I’ll go talk to her.” 

“No.” Baldwin interrupted, appearing beside Flynn in the doorway. 

“But she’s a victim.” Brenda objected.

“No, she’s not. She’s a witness. We are not trying George Harris for her rape. Make no mistake, this is _my_ case You wanted the suspect free, he’s here. I can’t talk to him; you can. But this witness, she’s mine.” 

“Chief Johnson.” Sharon spoke up, saying pointedly, “with Mr. Harris under arrest, Mr. Stroh will be here shortly, you won’t have much time to speak with the suspect.” 

“Excuse me… Captain.” Brenda turned back to Baldwin. Sharon folded her arms across her chest, she was going to let that go but the blonde better not try to keep pressing her luck. 

“I’ll take Detective Gabriel and Lieutenant Tao. They’re great on the stand.” 

Brenda glared at Claire as she disappeared into the conference room. Sharon and Brenda locked eyes for a moment and Sharon pointed down the hall to the interview room. 

“I’m going, I’m going.” Brenda insisted, “Detective Sanchez, would you come with me?” 

“Yes, Chief.” 

Flynn walked over to the coffee pot. “Captain, you want a cup?”

“What?” she looked up to see him holding up the carafe. “Oh. Yes, please.” 

Provenza rolled his eyes. As far as he was concerned Sharon would always be the enemy. Even though he could never not love Flynn but he didn’t have to like all of his decisions. Befriending the wicked witch was definitely a bad decision on his part. 

Sharon accepted the coffee. The conference room door opened and Natalie and Baldwin came out followed by Gabriel and Tao. 

“I just can’t.” Natalie professed. “It’s not that I won’t. I just can’t.” 

“I’d still like you to be in protective custody.” Baldwin insisted, “I’m working to right the wrong that was done when it came to your case. Okay?”

Natalie looked conflicted. 

“You don’t have to do anything. The system mistreated you and it’s going to try and make it right this time.” 

Natalie chewed her bottom lip. She didn’t particularly want to trust the system that had swept her under the rug before but she didn’t perceive that she had very many options at this point. She nodded. 

“Lieutenant Provenza, would you process her please?”

Provenza pushed himself up out of his chair, “right this way. Can I get you some water or a soda?” 

“Uh… no… thanks.” Natalie and Provenza disappeared down the hallway. Baldwin gave Sharon a sidelong look before disappearing in the other direction. 

Sharon rolled her eyes and sipped the coffee, taking it in gulps rather than dainty sips. Tao sat down at his computer and feverishly started doing research. Brenda and Sanchez returned a short time later. Brenda was clearly incensed – the interview had not gone as hoped obviously.

“Where’s Natalie?” 

“DDA Baldwin wanted her in protective custody so Provenza’s processing her now.” Gabriel said, standing. 

“But Stroh’s in the building, all I need is for her to look at him!” Brenda snapped. 

“Chief, Natalie refuses.” Sharon said evenly. 

“Was she able to pick Stroh’s picture out of a six-pack?”

“Baldwin wouldn’t let me show them to her.” Gabriel explained and when Brenda’s nostrils flared in anger, he felt his self-preservation instinct take over. He held his palms up in a submissive gesture, “I tried.”

“Detective! That’s why I had you in the room.” Brenda raged, her anger level gaining momentum. “This is what I get for giving Baldwin four more weeks?”

Sharon put her hand on Brenda’s elbow, pulling her attention back. “She wants to use Natalie to get a conviction against Harris and when she does, for a more lenient sentence he may very well give up his partner.” Sharon insisted, using even tones, trying to get her girlfriend to reel it in a little bit. Angry people make mistakes and Brenda couldn’t afford any more. 

“Chief, I’m trying to find a place to park Natalie Gilbert but it’s proving to be more difficult than it should be.” Provenza came back, drawing Brenda’s attention away from yelling at Sharon. “She’s homeless, she has no place to go and, uh, I think putting her back in a motel room might prove to be counterproductive.”

“We can’t just let her walk out of here.” Sharon said pointedly. 

“Goodness no, Captain,” Brenda drawled, her voice sickeningly sweet and dripping with animosity. “There’s the Johnson Rule to consider. We can’t let people leave the building if they’re going to be facing hostile situations. Natalie’s going to need some protection, don’t you agree?” 

“I… think we probably have space for her at the house… don’t you?” 

**

Sharon let herself in through the kitchen and sighed heavily when she saw that her breakfast table was covered with bridal magazines. “Angela!” She called into the house. 

“One sec!” 

Sharon didn’t particularly feel but she figured if she was going to be doing it then spaghetti was an excellent option. It really didn’t require much attention and most people liked spaghetti.

“Hey, I was just looking in the attic for grandma’s wedding dress. I thought you had it.” 

“No… I don’t think I’ve ever had your grandma’s wedding dress.” Sharon put a pot under the running water and filled it. “Can you clean off the table please?”

“I brought these over for you to look though.” 

“I figured.” Sharon set the pot on the unit and turned it up to high, sprinkling a little bit of salt into the water. “Please get them off the table.” 

Angela closed the open magazines and pulled them into a pile before hefting them over to the edge of the counter. “Are you thinking, like, a spring wedding?”

“I don’t know if there’ll be an actual wedding. It wouldn’t be legally binding anyway. Just wearing the ring basically accomplishes the same thing.” 

“Jeez, mom, how utilitarian of you.” Angela rolled her eyes, “but what about how fun it would be to have a wedding? Wouldn’t it be romantic? And you guys could take a honeymoon! Have you and Brenda talked at all about your plans?”

“Well…” Sharon paused for a second, digging the linguine noodles out of the pantry closer. “No, we haven’t really.” In truth, with Brenda’s father’s surgery and the added work stress of the Johnson rule, the two hadn’t really gotten around to talking about their plans – or if any plans existed at all. 

“Where is Brenda?” 

“She’s bringing home a witness who we were unable to find conventional sleeping arrangements for.” 

“Oh yikes, is it a mob informant? Are we gonna get shot?” 

“No, she’s a witness in a rape case.” Sharon rooted around in the refrigerator for the parmesan cheese. “I don’t think I should invite you to stay for dinner. She’s part of an ongoing investigation.”

“That’s fine.” Angela slung her bag over her shoulder. “Kick out your only daughter.” 

“Come here and give me a kiss,” Sharon demanded playfully. 

Angela smiled and kissed her mother’s cheek. “Want to go out and get drinks on Friday night?” 

“Yeah, why not?” 

“I’ll text you the deets.” Angela said on her way out the door. 

“Use whole words, Angela, you’re not in that big of a hurry!” Sharon called after her. She sighed and surveyed her cooking space. She would grate the cheese and throw the salad together and everything should be done in about ten minutes. 

When Brenda and Natalie showed up Sharon was setting the table. “Hi Natalie,” Sharon wiped her hands on the dishtowel and put it on the counter before extending her hand, “we weren’t properly introduced, I’m Captain Sharon Raydor. You can call me Sharon.” 

“Thanks,” Natalie took her hand. 

“Please, sit down,” Sharon gestured to the table. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“Just water.”

Brenda put a hand on Sharon’s shoulder, “sit, I’ll get the drinks.” 

Sharon sat and Natalie timidly chose a seat. Brenda brought the water glasses over and started to dish out the pasta. Natalie watched her. 

“I want to tell you…” Natalie said. Brenda looked up. “I want to say… how sorry I am about that other woman. I just… can’t do any more than I already have.”

The front doorbell rang. Sharon furrowed her brow, almost no one used the front door so it wasn’t anyone she was close to. “I’ll be right back.”

“That’s okay.” Brenda said to Natalie when Sharon was gone. “I’m only worried that one of your attackers is still out there. You got a good look at him, we have his DNA and he knows all that.” She sat down across from Natalie. 

“Anyway, you’re perfectly safe here tonight. I’m only concerned about what happens later. When you’re out on your own somewhere and the LAPD’s not around. Of course, if you could identify the guy we could pick him up, end this ongoing threat against your life but as it stands now, he’s going to go after you again. Only this time, he’ll try to silence you, keep you from ever telling us. You don’t remember anything?”

“Brenda, can you come here for a moment?” Sharon asked from the living room. 

“What is it, Sharon?” Brenda rounded the corner and stopped when she saw Fritz standing with Sharon.

“What are you doing?” He demanded tiredly. 

Brenda’s posture straightened and she stuck out her chin defiantly. “She’s homeless, Fritz.” 

“So she’s staying the night?” 

Brenda shrugged a little. “I was hoping she’d end up taking me to a bar…” 

Fritz turned to look at Sharon, “I’d expect this from her but I expected better from you.” 

“ _Excuse_ me. This is _my_ house.” Sharon sneered. 

“Do you really think it’s fair to drag that poor girl through her rape again when it’s clear she doesn’t want to think about it?” Fritz’s attention was back on Brenda. 

“Do you think it’s fair that the guy who did that to her is running around free? I’m trying to find him and put him in prison.” She snapped. 

“No, you’re not. You’re trying to nail Stroh.”

“It’s the same thing.”

“Is it?” Fritz and Brenda were locked in a glare and Sharon was about to interject and try to calm everyone down when Natalie walked in through the doorway. 

“I – I remember something. Stella’s Nightclub. That’s what it was called.” 

**

Brenda and Fritz left to take Natalie to the nightclub after the arrangements were made for the sting operation to run into Stroh. Sharon held back; Fritz was there representing the feds. Sharon knew that if anything went down she’d be called in anyway and she intended to eat and get a bit of rest before that inevitability. 

Sharon laid down on the couch, closing her eyes and waiting for the inevitable summons. 

**

Sharon leaned against the wall near the interview room drinking her second cup of coffee from the Major Crimes breakroom waiting for Brenda to finish. She’d just come from Pope’s office – which was always a shortcut to her bad side and she really just wanted to go home. Pope certainly did delight in trying to make Sharon be the continual bearer of bad news. She heard the door open and she set the coffee down and pushed herself away from the wall to meet her. 

Baldwin walked up, fixing her with a tired expression. “Don’t soft pedal this.” She said pointedly. She knew that Sharon didn’t make it a habit to go easy on Brenda – and vice versa – but when push came to shove they’d have each other’s back and Baldwin wanted the message to be received loud and clear. “I want it said to her the way Chief Pope said it would be done.” 

“Soft pedal what?” Brenda looked between Sharon and Baldwin. 

Baldwin hadn’t planned on saying anything to the feisty blond but now she couldn’t resist. “I’m not ungrateful for the results you’ve achieved but you behaved toward me with what I consider to be a condescending, dismissive and secretive attitude and, whether you’re aware of it or not, you harmed the prosecution of my case.”

“Your case?” 

“That’s right. My case.” Baldwin stared Brenda down before tossing over shoulder, “Captain.” Before walking away. 

Brenda turned to Sharon, _daring_ her to say what she had to say. Sharon already hated this conversation. “Maybe we should go into your office…”

“No, no, here’s fine.” No good could come from a conversation that started that way. 

Sharon took a deep breath. “Chief Pope… believes…”

“Chief Pope believes?!” Brenda snapped before reminding herself that Sharon was just being used as the messenger and she’d at least wait for her to finish before shooting her. “I’m sorry. Go on.” 

“Chief Pope believes that you should start bringing prosecutors on earlier in your cases, he and the district attorney agree that provoking a mistrial-”

“I didn’t provoke a mistrial! I answered the questions as truthfully as I could in keeping with the oath I took on the stand.”

“I know.” Sharon said gently. “I understand.” 

Brenda softened a little. Yes, she did. Sharon always understood – and when she didn’t, she made an effort to try. Brenda knew that the same could not always be said for her. 

“The Chief of Police would like the district attorney’s office to have a more open access to Major Crimes.” 

Brenda nodded, “okay, we’ll talk. Anything else?”

Sharon paused for a long moment before continuing. “You are no longer to investigate Philip Stroh, monitor his movements or in any way shape or form interfere with the conduct of his activities, either personal or legal, without prior approval of Chief Pope.” 

Brenda nodded, she felt as though she’d been punched in the stomach. Sharon’s heart wrenched at the pain in Brenda’s eyes. Damn Will Pope to hell for making her deliver this speech. Brenda looked so defeated as she nodded, “thank you… Sharon.” 

Sharon felt even guiltier at the use of her name. Brenda didn’t blame her and somehow that made it worse. If she blamed her then she would at least have anger and passion but where it stood she had quiet resignation. 

“Brenda,” Sharon grabbed her attention back. “I’m sorry about this. I’m speaking to you now not only as a representative of professional standards but also as a colleague _and_ your girlfriend. There are people around who have it in for you… and if I were you I would take these orders very seriously.”

“Trust me.” Brenda said softly, “I am… and you’re my _fiancée_ , Captain. Or did you forget?” 

Sharon quirked a small smile, “like you’d let me forget.” 

Brenda rubbed her eyes, “look, I know I’ve been tryin’ to cut back on using sugar when I’m upset but… can we just go to the Cheesecake Factory or somethin’?” 

“Yes,” Sharon smiled more broadly. “Yes, I think that cheesecake is definitely in order.”


	16. Fool's Gold

Frank’s tags jingled as Liz led him down the sidewalk to the grassy area. Sharon had her hands shoved in her pockets as she followed along and Flynn trailed behind her. “So, Flynn,” Liz started as Frank started rooting around purposefully. “No special lady in your life these days?”

Flynn didn’t want to talk about his lack of attachment. He didn’t want to think about how long it had been since his last serious girlfriend. “Me? No. The Captain’s engaged though.” 

Sharon shot Flynn a look. Here she was, always desperately trying to keep her professional and personal life separate and he just had to go and say that. 

“Oh, congratulations!” Liz turned to Sharon with a bright smile. “I did see the ring but since it wasn’t a diamond I didn’t want to say anything and be wrong.” 

“Thank you.” Sharon smiled reservedly. 

“She’s engaged to Chief Johnson.” Flynn added. 

“Oh, no kidding?” Liz continued to grin, “that’s adorable. How long have you been together?”

“Five years.” Flynn interrupted. 

“ _Six_ years, lieutenant.” 

“You two were together for a whole year before you came out to your squads?” Flynn demanded. 

“Yes, because it wasn’t really anybody’s business.” Sharon fixed him with a look. 

Liz continued, undeterred by the brief quarrel. “So, where are you having the ceremony? Here or in Mississippi or Alabama… where’s Chief Johnson from again?”

“She’s from Georgia. I don’t know, we haven’t made any plans yet.”

“You must have just gotten engaged then.”

Sharon shrugged, “it was about five or six months ago.” 

“And you haven’t made _any_ plans yet?” Liz blinked, “what are you girls _waiting_ for?”

“Frank’s pooping!” Sharon announced excitedly – certainly more excitedly than she would have under normal circumstances. 

“Oh, good boy, Frank!” Liz mewled. 

Saved by the shit, Sharon thought. She hooked a finger toward the dog and the shit in question, “go ahead, Lieutenant, it’s all yours.” 

“Gee thanks.” He, clearly, did not share Sharon’s enthusiasm. 

He bent down, “how do I do this?”

“Turn the bag inside out, grab the glove and then turn it rightside out as you pull it off your hand.” Liz said. Frank was already sniffing other things, blissfully unaware that his bowel movement was so interesting to the humans. 

“Do you have kids, Captain?” 

Sharon thought this was over – clearly she’d been wrong. “Uh, yes. I have two.” 

“Did you have to do IVF or adopt?” 

“I… was married. My husband and I had children together.” 

“And when did you realize you were a lesbian?” Liz asked with a grin. 

Sharon bowed her head embarrassedly, “um, I’m not a lesbian, I’m… bisexual.” 

“Oh, how modern!” 

Sharon wanted to crawl into a hole and hide until Liz was gone. Flynn took pity on her, “so Liz, how’s Billy doing? Is he going to be ten already?” 

Liz excitedly launched into a story about her grandson and Sharon was glad that the focus was off of her. She’d been thinking about the wedding more in the last week than in the previous five months. She hadn’t actually thought to ask if Brenda meant for them to have a real wedding or if the act of betrothal was enough. Possibly Brenda intended to wait until gay marriage was legal in California again. 

Regardless of what Brenda’s intentions were the simple truth remained: Sharon hadn’t actually _asked_ her what she wanted. That would need to be rectified. 

“Oh hey Chief.” Flynn smiled triumphantly. “Guess what! Frank dropped the kids off at the pool.”

Sharon stifled an eye roll. Brenda stared at him and shook her head, confused, “what does that mean?

“No sign of Clyde yet but we’re so close to Bonnie we can smell it.” Flynn said. Brenda continued to stare at him as if he’d sprouted an extra head. 

“We’ve got the glove.” Sharon translated, afraid they could be there all day at this rate. 

Flynn held up the evidence bag. Brenda grimaced, “Eeew…” 

Sharon carefully took the bag from Flynn, holding it with her fingertips. “I’ll start working on a print. I’ve got this feeling it’s already in the system.”

“Oh, thank you so much, Sharon.” Brenda breathed as she walked by, grateful for her girlfriend’s infinite patience. 

“No problem, Chief.” Sharon threw over her shoulder. 

“I’ll make it up to you.” 

“Yes, you will…” Sharon answered in a sing-song voice that made Brenda nervous. Sing-song was never a good sign. 

In truth, Sharon was thrilled to death at the prospect of getting this case wrapped up. She hated loose ends and this case had already been going on too long. For most of her life Sharon was a dog owner, what _she_ really couldn’t stand was cat vomit. 

**

“I can’t believe I had to beg Pope to investigate this murder with you.” Brenda shook her head. 

“It’s hard being close to people you work with, it’s always hard. You’ve gotta be patient with people who drive you crazy.”

Brenda snorted a laugh, “are you talkin’ about Pope or me?” 

Sharon batted her eyelashes playfully, “I find that good relationships sometimes depend… on what you’re willing to overlook.”

They locked eyes and Brenda sighed, “I sure do love you a whole lot.” 

Sharon put her hand on Brenda’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze, “I love you too.” 

Brenda chewed on her lip with a grin. “Are you going straight home?” 

“Um, after I finish up a mountain of paperwork I’ll be going straight home.” 

“Oh yeah… me too…” 

“I’ll see you at home in a couple of hours?” 

Brenda nodded, stealing a quick kiss. “See you there.” 

**

Sharon stared into the refrigerator with annoyance. She’d forgotten how low on food they were. She closed it and straightened up. She picked up her phone. “Hey Brenda?”

“Sweetie, I’m in line at the Chinese place. Can I call you back?” 

“I’ll just see you when you get home,” she said with a grin. “And don’t forget spring rolls.”

“Have I ever forgotten your spring rolls?” 

“Thank you.” Sharon hung up the phone and then went to grab a bottle of wine. Sometimes Sharon and Brenda brought out the worst in each other but more often than not they complimented each nicely. 

Brenda carried the Chinese food over the threshold not fifteen minutes later and she found a tall glass of Merlot waiting for her. She kissed Sharon hello and took a sip. Sharon helped Brenda unpack the bag before she broke her chopsticks apart. 

“I don’t understand dog owners.” Brenda said at last. 

Sharon had to laugh at that. “I don’t understand cat people. I think we just got to the root of any lingering problems in our relationship.” 

Brenda smiled. “How was the rest of your day?”

Sharon shrugged a little, “it was fine. Yours?” 

“Boring but I finished all of my paperwork.” 

“The paperwork is easier when you follow the rules, isn’t it?”

Brenda grumbled good-naturedly and ate a bite of moo shoo pork. 

“So…” Sharon started, taking a sip of her wine. “I’m ready to talk about possible wedding ideas… if you want…” 

Brenda’s face lit up and she set her own glass down. “My first wedding was a church wedding and I don’t want to do that again.” 

“Me neither.” 

“Good.” 

“California or Georgia?” Sharon asked. “Or should we split the difference and get married somewhere in the middle?”

“Well… both have advantages.” Brenda conceded, “my family lives in Georgia and you still have relatives in Florida – but we live and work here and it would be a lot easier for us to plan the wedding here.” 

“I can probably get Angela to do all the tedious things.” Sharon grinned slyly. “She’s been bugging me about wedding stuff for months.” 

“Perfect. We have a wedding planner we don’t have to pay.” 

“I would say that my main stipulation is an open bar, fully stocked.” 

“And lots of Merlot.” Brenda added. 

Sharon held up her glass to toast. “This is why we work so well.” 

Brenda clinked her glass against Sharon’s.


	17. Drug Fiend

Sharon groaned when Brenda’s phone started to ring. “Don’t answer it. I haven’t had a day off in _two weeks_.” 

“You probably won’t get your call for another hour. You could get some sleep.” 

“I won’t be able to get back to sleep. I’ll know.” Sharon grumbled pulling the pillow up over her face and whining. 

**

Sharon clipped down the hall toward the interview room. The morning hadn’t started out as annoyingly as she’d expected it to. She got up, showered and had a cup of coffee before her summons came in. Inevitably Major Crimes pissed someone off and she and had to hear about it and then go lecture the squad. 

“Pardon me for interrupting,” she smiled diplomatically. Buzz and Tao looked at her guiltily, like mom just caught them spoiling their dinner with cookies. “Did Major Crimes tell a Dr. Par that he could not treat cancer patients at his office tomorrow morning?”

“Yes, we’re still processing the scene.”

“And Lieutenants _Flynn and Provenza_ were left behind to… talk the doctor into cooperating?” Sharon narrowed her eyes. 

Buzz looked away sheepishly and Tao answered slowly, “well… yes… why?”

“Because Chief Pope is driving in right now to talk about how _he_ would like Major Crimes to… _proceed_.”

Sharon turned and left the interview room, glancing at her watch and starting to pace a little. “Everything alright, Captain?” Gabriel asked. 

“No… well, yes…” Sharon laughed a little, “I don’t know anymore. I’m just running interference between Chief Pope and Chief Johnson, like usual.” 

Gabriel nodded. Sometimes he even felt bad for the long suffering Captain. 

“Oh, I’d like you to meet my girlfriend, Ann.” He gestured toward her. “Ann, this is Captain Raydor.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ann.” Sharon extended her hand and they shook. “Are you also in law enforcement?” 

“I’m in law school. I just transferred actually.” 

The tell-tale click of Brenda’s kitten heels in her short stride and hurried pace pulled Sharon’s attention away from Ann. 

“Sharon, what’s wrong?”

Sharon offered Brenda a soft smile. “Let’s not use the word wrong. Let’s say the situation has become complex.”

“What situation?” Brenda demanded.

“Am I the only one who remembers that federal lawsuit we settled? Absentee appointment of a special master, the HIPPA statute-” Pope boomed as he walked past the group on his way to Brenda’s office. 

“ _Excuse me!_ ” Brenda snapped, following after him. Sharon and Taylor trailed after them, if somewhat reluctantly. “I’m not asking for patient information!”

“Do you know how long it takes to get a warrant with a special master?”

“12 to 16 hours.” 

“And it has to be done through the DDA’s office-”

“Which,” Sharon interrupted, “is why I called DDA Hobbe’s and asked her to rush it through to tomorrow.”

“There! Happy?” Pope demanded with exasperation. 

“ _No!_ I’m not. That only gets the special master appointed. It could take days, _weeks_ even to sort through what we need and if Dr. Brady was killed because he was providing medications for ‘fictitious patients’ – which is what a nurse just fired told us was happening.” 

“This nurse was let go. Could be she’s holding a grudge.” Taylor interjected. 

“Something you would know about.” Pope muttered. 

“ _What_?” 

“Pardon me.” Sharon said quickly, hoping to derail Brenda’s angry response before it pulled into the station. “Commander Taylor, you’ve got good news.” 

“Uh… yeah, Flynn and Provenza, they got Dr. Par to come downtown, hopefully you could talk him into being more helpful.”

“And am I supposed to something in return for the honor of Dr. Par’s company?” 

“This doctor’s office is a legal minefield.”

“I don’t have time to process the scene before tomorrow morning.” 

“Then look for the missing drugs, find out what they might have to do with this murder, establish a timeline. _Let the system work_.” Pope turned to Sharon. “Try to help her understand, okay? Maybe she’ll listen to you.” 

Pope turned and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. 

“When is Dr. Par arrivin’?”

“Uh, any minute.” Taylor answered. “Look … you heard the Chief’s orders to give this man back his infusion room… I, uh, I may have neglected to mention that to Dr. Par before I invited him downtown.” 

“Thank you.” Brenda nodded, finally starting to calm down. “Thank you, Commander.” 

“Gives you a fighting chance, right? Anyway, good luck.” Taylor excused himself. 

Sharon and Brenda stood still and silent in the office for a moment. Sharon could see the thyroid cancer pamphlet on her desk and knew this was going to be hard going. 

“Sharon, I thought you were still monitoring Major Crimes because of the leak. Is there some other _agenda_ I don’t know about?” 

“Chief Pope didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?” 

“I’m now supposed to inform the DA’s office every time Major Crimes rolls out for a homicide.” Sharon smiled apologetically, “I thought you knew.” 

“I didn’t…” 

“Excuse me, Chief, Wally Sanders is here.” Tao poked his head in. 

“Who is that?”

“The drug rep.”

“Oh right. Yes, of course. I’ll be right there.” Brenda ran her hands through her hair. Once they were alone again Brenda whispered. “God help me, Sharon. _God help me._ ” 

“You’ll be okay, Brenda,” Sharon said soothingly. “This is just another case. You just have to do your thing; you’re amazing at what you do.” 

“Does Pope really want a DA involved in all of my cases from the very beginning?” Brenda shouted, “ _why_?”

“He believes he’s about to be appointed to his own full term.” Sharon shrugged. “He will move upstairs. He will be further removed from day-to-day supervision of divisions.”

“So now he’s saddling me with as many babysitters as possible, is that it?”

“Don’t shoot the messenger, darling. I’m keeping the DA’s office busy with the special master. DDA Hobbes won’t even be able to cross the street until tomorrow afternoon.” Then Sharon added, “ _at the earliest_.” 

“Well it’s nice to know that you and Commander Taylor are running interference for me.” Brenda snapped. Sharon pursed her lips and after a moment’s consideration Brenda turned back to her girlfriend. “Thank you.” 

Sharon shook her head. Brenda was going to crash and burn before the end of the case. She was far too emotionally attached to the subject at hand. Sharon just hoped that Pope and Brenda’s tempers wouldn’t clash to the point where Brenda went home jobless. 

Coming back up from her office with the form for Brenda to go over which needed to be handed over to DDA Hobbes, the elevator doors slid open and Gabriel and Ann stood there together. 

“Oh!” Sharon said, startled, hurrying to move out of the way. “Ann. Are you leaving so soon?”

Ann smiled wryly, “ask Chief Johnson how soon it feels.” 

Sharon smiled knowingly, “you didn’t catch her at her best today. She’s usually at least 10% less of a bitch on a good day.” 

Ann looked to Gabriel, surprised by Sharon’s words. “The Captain is engaged to Chief Johnson.” 

“Ah.” Ann nodded. “They should nominate you for sainthood.” She turned back to Gabriel. “I’ll see you at home. Nice to meet you, Captain.” 

Sharon was smiling when Gabriel looked at her. “You live together.” 

“Uh, well, yeah. We’ve been dating for a year now, I felt like it was time. I haven’t told my family yet… I’d actually appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone else around here… know what people think about lawyers.”

“Married one myself.” Sharon admitted. 

“Really?” Gabriel blinked in surprise. 

“My undergrad was in pre-law, that’s how we met. Well, technically he passed the bar and then he spent the next ten years drinking in one until he gave that up for gambling.”

“So you’re divorced.” 

“Yes, there was life before Chief Johnson.” She smiled, “oh, Detective, this is DDA Hobbe’s application for special master. It needs a signature and it needs a little more information. Would you mind walking Chief Johnson through it for me? My presence in Major Crimes mostly just upsets her and considering the circumstances of the case…”

“Yeah, I will get it to Hobbes myself.” 

Sharon got back into the elevator. She was going to go home and she was going to relax if it killed her.

“Sharon?” 

She looked up, puzzled at hearing her name instead of her rank. “Josh?” She smiled. He jogged to catch up with her and they hugged. “It’s been a while. I hear you’re brainwashing my son.” 

He laughed, “and I make no apologies. What are you up to?” 

“Well I’m certainly not sleeping in on a Sunday morning and lounging around in my pyjamas – but I do get to go home for now.” 

“Can I talk you into lunch or do you have to get home to Brenda?”

“No, no, she’s working. She’ll be at it for God knows how long. I’d be delighted to have lunch with you.” 

**

“I’ll have the lobster roll, thank you.” Sharon said, handing back the menu to the waitress. 

“Same.” Josh handed over his as well. 

Sharon sipped her water. “So, I have a question about James.”

Josh laughed, “I don’t want to get into the middle of this argument you’re having with your son. It’s none of my business.”

“No, I have a real question.” Sharon insisted. “Hiring Angela was one thing because she went to Stanford Law and she had excellent grades but James has a BA in graphic design, did you just hire him because he’s my son?”

“Your son, Angela’s brother… I needed an assistant and Angela mentioned that James was looking for a job. I interviewed him along with a handful of other applicants – most of which held liberal arts BAs, this is a bad economy for liberal arts kids – and based on job history and Angela’s recommendation I chose James. Does that answer your question?” 

Sharon considered this for a moment, nodding. 

“Plus Angela’s a good lawyer, Ted was a good lawyer when he was sober enough to show up… you would have been an excellent lawyer if you hadn’t jumped ship for law enforcement… so, yes, maybe I believe in James’s lineage.” 

“I just don’t want him to give up on his art. I don’t want him to regret not fighting harder to find a job in his field.” Sharon sighed.

“He’s a smart kid, Sharon. He’ll figure it out.” Josh reached across the table and put his hand over hers. She nodded and put her other one over his. 

“You’re right…” 

“But hey, let’s talk about you and your pending nuptials.” He smiled, “am I invited? I haven’t gotten a save the date yet.” 

Sharon shrugged, “we haven’t set a date yet but of course you’re invited.” 

“Want me to give you away?” He teased. 

She chuckled, “you have given me away more than once.” 

“Not entirely of my own volition though.” He smiled, “why the hold up? Are you two waiting for something?” 

“No… we just have a lot on our plates right now. We’re still dealing – professionally and personally – with the fallout from the federal lawsuit.” 

“Personally?” He raised his eyebrows. 

“Our boss has assigned me to report all of her actions back to him. He’s doing it deliberately to drive a wedge between us; it’s not completely working.” 

“But sort of?”

Sharon shrugged a little, “Brenda gets frustrated very easily and she does tend to shoot the messenger. It can get annoying and I’ve had to put off almost all of my regular workload onto my subordinates.” 

“Well… good luck with that.” 

**

“Sharon?” Brenda called, dropping her purse in a heap near the door. 

“Upstairs, sweetie.” 

Brenda climbed the stairs, stripping off her blazer. She poked her head into the bathroom. “Oh, taking a bath.” 

“I’m intent to enjoy my Sunday.” She smiled serenely at Brenda. “I finished a book, went for a long run and now I’m having a soak.” 

Brenda sank down next to the bathtub. 

“What time is it?”

“Four thirty.”

“Done with the medical records already?” 

“ _No_.” Brenda frowned. “Will sent us home belly-aching about overtime. He’s so cheap, we have a murder victim and we’re not allowed to investigate just because it’s a Sunday.” 

Sharon reached out for Brenda’s shoulder. Brenda giggled, “you’re getting me wet!” 

“Oh. Now _there_ ’s an idea!”


	18. Last Rites

_Sharon held the sobbing Brenda tightly against her, terrified to let her go. Brenda clung to her; she’d finally stopped fighting to be let go and just allowed Sharon to keep her in place._

_Sharon lost track of Clay, he’d gone into the bedroom, she thought. How long ago had that been? At what point had Brenda and Sharon sunk to the floor? She pulled one arm away from Brenda with audible protests, she dialed Morales and explained the situation in a hushed voice._

_Not that Brenda could hear the words anyway, she was a million miles away, she was anywhere but here in Sharon’s arms._

_Brenda needed to get into bed; she needed a long overdue night’s sleep. She’d cry herself out soon; Sharon held her head against her shoulder, stroking her hair gingerly._

_Clay exited the room, leaning against the doorframe, the shock and disbelief still coloring his features. He looked down at Sharon and she met his gaze empathetically. He let his head fall back to the doorframe and let out a shaky breath._

_She wasn’t sure how she was going to do it yet but she could do this; Sharon could hold the Johnsons together._

_The first thing she needed to do was to put Brenda to bed. She doubted that she’d sleep very long or very well but she needed to sleep. Sharon wrapped her arms around Brenda under her arms and coaxed her up to a standing position._

_She’d stopped sobbing but she was staring blankly ahead, looking like she could start back up at any time. Sharon held her tightly, “one step at a time, Brenda Leigh…” She started leading her toward the stairs, “just put one foot in front of the other; take it one step at a time.”_

**

“Daddy, why don’t you use the walker? I got it made special.” Brenda fussed, rushing to help her mother help her father down the hall. 

“I’m fine, get the phone.” Clay griped. 

“Okay, okay.”

Clay reached to steady himself on a chair but it gave way and he stumbled. Brenda and Sharon both rushed to him. 

“If I’d known how hard it was to get up I would’ve stayed in bed.” 

Sharon retreated back to the kitchen and righted the chair. She picked up the cat’s squeak toys and tossed them into the living room toward the cat bed. 

She picked up the phone, “hello?” 

“Uh, I need the Chief.” 

“She’ll just be a second, Lieutenant.” Sharon said, leaning back against the counter. Brenda, coming down the hallway with her mother, quirked an eyebrow inquisitively. Sharon mouthed _Provenza_.

Willie Ray patted her arm, “get the phone, sweetie.” 

Brenda took the phone from Sharon. “Willie Ray, can I make you something for breakfast?”

“Oh Sharon,” Willie Ray smiled and waved her off. “You don’t need to fuss over me. You just get ready for work, I’ll be fine.” 

“I don’t have to go into work until Brenda does something that Chief Pope doesn’t like.” Sharon grinned, “I have at least ten minutes wiggle room in which to cook breakfast.” 

Willie Ray patted her hand, “you relax for a while, dear, I think I’ll go take a shower.” 

Brenda hung up the phone and huffed out a frustrated groan. “Oh, Catholics are so obnoxious!” 

Sharon snorted, “thanks a lot.” 

“You don’t count.” Brenda rolled her eyes. “When was the last time you went to church?” 

“Midnight mass, just like every Christmas.” 

“Oh yeah.” Brenda chewed her lip. She was usually already cozy in bed by the time Sharon went out for her yearly pilgrimage to church. “How can you even stand Catholicism?” 

“A side effect of being born Irish, I suspect.” Sharon leaned closer, “don’t even _try_ to tell me that Baptists are any better.” 

Brenda shrugged noncommittally. “Anyway, I have to go.”

“I’ll see you in about an hour, probably.” 

“Don’t jinx me.” Brenda scowled. 

“It’s not a jinx, it’s an inevitability at this point.” Sharon sipped her coffee. 

**

“Those poor girls looked up to that priest and he took advantage of them.” Willie Ray said, shaking her head disdainfully. 

“Well, mama, we don’t really know what was goin’ on. We haven’t found any fingerprints on the photographs and hardly any at all in the apartment, which is strange.” 

“Where’s Sharon?” Clay looked up from his newspaper. 

“She’s at work, it’s noon on a Tuesday.” Willie Ray smiled, “it’s easy to feel like it’s late at night, seeing as Brenda Leigh is home.” 

“Is tonight the night that James and Angela are comin’ over?” 

“It sure is, Daddy.” Brenda beamed, “they’re looking forward to seeing you.”

“We did miss them for Christmas. Wasn’t the same without Sharon and the kids.” 

Brenda smiled, “Christmas was a little short on spiked egg nog and a lot short on Sharon and James shouting at the basketball game.” Brenda looked back to the screen, chewed on her lip and read to herself, “we haven’t found any of the priest’s dna on the girls’ clothing…” 

“Brenda Leigh, isn’t this something you should be talkin’ about with the parents?”

“Fritz is helping the LAPD with the molestation issues. Sharon’s gonna get that information from him.”

“Now y’all are rearranging your whole lives because of me.” 

“No, no, Daddy, not at all. It’s just the FBI has a lot more resources for that kind of thing than we do and Sharon’s already at work. So, if there was anything else to be doing I’d be doing it.” 

**

“Hello, my dear.” Sharon said sweetly from the doorway. 

“Uh-oh. That sounds like bad news if I ever heard it.” Brenda leaned back in her chair. “Let me have it.” 

Sharon entered and sat down across from Brenda 

“Not if you keep pushing to get this journal although I suppose suggesting that the photographs we found were not pornographic could help re-open dialogue with the arch-diesis.”

“We should have to re-open dialogue. The church should never have taken the journal to begin with.” 

“Chief Johnson, in a case like this there are national, possible international, implications. In fact, in order to regain the cooperation of the church the LAPD has to give it absolute assurance the official chain of command will be respected.”

“I’ve always respected – wait a minute. Is this about what happened with Chief Pope at the rectory? I was only doing my job!”

“By performing a warrantless search.” Sharon reminded calmly. “By threatening a church archivist with your weapon.”

“I didn’t threaten anybody. I had my gun holstered the entire time.”

“It doesn’t matter. Refusing the orders of a superior is insubordination and you did it publically. Which…” Sharon pulled out the form, already knowing this couldn’t end well. “Is detailed in this unsigned complaint that Chief Pope brought to me first thing this morning.” 

Brenda accepted the paper, putting on her glasses and reading it over. “Is he really this mad?”

“ _Oh_. Yes. And he’s frustrated. At one time, he may have been your friend and something more than that but he is also your boss and he is demanding that you recognize his authority.”

“I want that journal.”

“Did you not hear one word that I just said? I kept Chief Pope from signing that complaint by assuring him that you were capable of seeing his position. The catholic church has _enormous_ influence-”

“How am I supposed to investigate this homicide if the whole power structure here is linin’ up to protect the poor, defenseless catholic church?” Brenda snapped. She calmed down a little, “and why does Chief Pope still have this enormous chip on his shoulder. I mean, I’m willing to put behind how completely horrible he’s been. I don’t even need an apology. I mean, can’t we just… you know?”

“You may be able to let it go – though let’s be honest, we both know it’s forgiven but not _forgotten_ \-- but Chief Pope is not ready to let it go. And if you can’t keep relations friendly you need to keep them smart.”

Brenda considered this for a moment. If there was one person she knew who could hold a grudge forever and smile politely while doing it it was Sharon. “What would be smart of me in this situation?” 

“Let Chief Pope resume his negotiations with the church so that _he_ solves the problem.”

“ _He caused the problem_!” Brenda objected, mouth full of starburst. 

Sharon picked up the complaint and held it up pointedly. Brenda sighed heavily. “Fine. If I let Chief Pope get the journal his way will he back off on that complaint? Because if he signs it anyway, I will explode. I really will.”

“I think, before dropping the complaint entirely, he’s gonna wait to see how you proceed with your investigation.” 

Brenda shook her head with a small smile. “Thank you… for runnin’ all this interference. I think the only person Pope is making more miserable than me is you.” 

“I will not argue with you.” Sharon smiled. “This whole mess is a royal pain in my ass. He’s reduced my job to the kid who sits between you two in home room.” 

“What’s the process for nominatin’ someone for sainthood?” 

“I think my drinking, cursing, and sexual persuasion and the fact that I go to church once a year pretty much lets me out of that possibility.” 

“I love you so much.” 

“I love you, too.”

“I _hate_ catholics.” 

Sharon snorted, “I know you do, dear.” 

**

Sharon handed James the bowl of green beans and he moved to pass it straight to his sister. “James, you should eat some greens.” 

“Mom, I’m an adult.” 

“Alright.” Sharon held up her hands in defeat. “Do whatever you want.” 

Brenda put a hand on Sharon’s shoulder. 

“James, are those free-weights in the back bedroom yours?” Clay asked. 

“No, sir, those are mom’s.” James laughed, “my mama didn’t raise no athletes.” 

“That’s true, that’s why they had to go into law.” Sharon teased. 

“No kidding, how much do you bench, Sharon?” Clay turned to the brunette. 

“I don’t do it religiously but I can do about 90 when I’m in shape.” Sharon shrugged. 

“Now, Brenda Leigh, how much can you bench?” 

“I don’t know, daddy, I don’t lift weights.” Brenda shook her head. 

“Brenda maintains her figure by the grace of God.” Sharon nudged Brenda playfully. “All she does all day is eat candy and she has the nerve to look this good.” 

“Aw, you don’t look too bad yourself.” Brenda smiled modestly, sipping her wine. 

“Speaking of, Brenda Leigh,” Willie Ray piped up, “I was wonderin’ if you’d want my wedding dress this time around?” 

“Oh, I love vintage wedding dresses!” Angela professed. “I was looking through Bridal magazine and they did a feature on a wedding that was done completely vintage and all the wedding photos were in sepia. Brenda could wear your dress and mom could wear a suit-”

“Angela, I will be wearing a dress at my wedding.” Sharon objected. 

“I was thinking a _skirt_ suit, mom. Maybe your gray Armani one?” 

“No, half the fun of getting married is buying the dress.”

“A whole _half_?” Brenda’s eyebrows went up. 

“Okay, maybe a third is dress shopping.” 

“And only two-thirds marrying me?”

“A third dress shopping, a third marrying you and a third a free-flowing open bar.” Sharon said matter-of-factly, lifting her glass in salute. 

“Here, here!” James seconded, clinking his glass with his mother’s. Angela and Clay both followed suit. 

Willie Ray playfully swatted Clay’s shoulder. “Oh, what am I going to do with all y’all?” She smiled. 

“Well, you might be the designated driver, for one.” Brenda smiled. 

“Oh, Clay, you still haven’t told us how your appointment went this afternoon. You seem like you’re full of vim and vigor,” Angela said. 

“I have low thyroglobulin, low means that the cancer’s practically undetectable.” 

“Oh, daddy, you’re gettin’ to be such an expert!” Brenda smiled broadly. 

“Look here, look at this.” Clay stood up, picking up his plate and Willie Ray’s. He grinned proudly, “I’ve got my balance back.” 

“Now if you could just teach your daughter and my kids how to carry their stuff back to the kitchen.” Sharon smiled. 

“Don’t ask for more than God can give, Sharon.” Willie Ray laughed. “Clay, I’ll get the heavy plates, you get the silverware.” 

Brenda’s phone rang and she went to answer it. Sharon picked up her plate and Brenda’s and followed Brenda’s parents into the kitchen. 

“Willie Ray, you did all the cooking, you go relax.” Sharon grabbed the sponge and tossed it to James and handed the dishtowel over to Angela. “James, you wash, Angie, you dry and I’ll put away.” 

The first dish passed to Sharon was the strainer and she had to go up on her toes to reach the spot above the cupboards. Clay took it from her and pushed it where it belonged. Sharon smiled, “look at you. You want a go at the weights later?” 

“Don’t tempt me.” He winked. 

Willie Ray entered the kitchen. “Where’s Brenda?”

“Oh, she got a call, she rushed outta here.” 

“Why don’t you go relax in the living room and I’ll bring you a cup of tea?” 

“Thank you, Sharon, I think I’m going to call it a night.” 

**

“Good mornin’ darlin’.” 

“Daddy, are you making breakfast?” 

“Pancakes. I’m lettin’ your mother sleep in. She’s done enough for me these past six months.” 

“That’s just about the best thing a person could come home to!” 

“Pancakes are a wonderful thing.” Clay smiled. 

“Now I just have to stay awake long enough to eat ‘em.”

“Good morning, everyone.” Sharon announced, clad in the LA Dodgers jersey and cotton shorts that she slept in when the need to sleep in modest attire arose. 

“And there’s the other best thing to come home to.” Brenda kissed Sharon, “would you look at this?”

“I think it calls for a cup of coffee.” Sharon announced, moving to the pot. 

“Already made, help yourself.” Clay continued whisking the bubbles out of the pancake batter. “Brenda Leigh, take your mother a cup, would ya? She said somethin’ last night about wantin’ to talk to you this mornin’.” 

“Alright.” 

Sharon handed her the cup she’d just poured for herself, “have this one, sweetie. Welcome home.” 

“Sharon, when are you going to admit that the Dodgers are overrated?” Clay teased her as she poured herself a second cup of coffee. 

She grinned into the coffee, “the day you renounce the Braves. So never.” She walked over to the table. “What can I do to help?” 

“You can sit down and drink your coffee.” Clay insisted, “you didn’t get in last night until almost one. You and Brenda Leigh must be asleep on your feet.” 

“I’ll take the break, thank you.” Sharon leaned back leisurely in her chair. “So what would you like to do today?” 

“I don’t know, I was thinking-”

“ _Sharon!_ ” Brenda screeched hysterically. “ _Sharon!_ ”


	19. Armed Response

“Chief, do you have a moment?” Sharon asked, opening the door to Pope’s office. 

“Can it wait?”

“No… it can’t. I’m supposed to get on a flight to Atlanta in two hours and I just got a notice that I wasn’t granted the time off. I assume that’s in error.” 

Pope set down the papers he’d been fussing with and looked squarely at her. “No, Captain, it’s not. I need you here. The whole business with the leak is coming to a head and I need you.” 

“But Chief, Brenda’s mother…” Sharon blinked at him in disbelief. 

“Yes, I was very sorry to hear about Brenda’s mother but that doesn’t change the fact that I need you here. You signed a waiver stating that your relationship with Chief Johnson would not impede your work.” 

“That was to guard against favorable treatment in any potential IA investigations – I have been lead on four investigations into Chief Johnson, her team and her subordinates and have always maintained my objectivity.” Sharon stated, “the LAPD manual allows for the spouse to take time off to attend a funeral and I know that Chief Johnson and I aren’t married but-”

“And even if you were, California doesn’t recognize same-sex unions. Captain, I’m _sorry_ but I really have to deny your request for leave.” 

Sharon had to fight to stay in control of her emotions. “Chief Johnson is in no condition to be on her own right now.” 

“I was under the impression that her father would be accompanying her back.” 

“Sir, her father is still recovering from cancer and he just lost his wife. Hell, I just lost a good friend and my mother-in-law. She was as much my family as my own mother. I loved that woman.” 

“This conversation is over, Captain. I have a conference call with the mayor.” Pope picked up the phone receiver and looked pointedly at the door. 

Sharon turned on her heel and exited the office. Once she was out in the hallway with the door closed firmly shut behind her she felt the tears spring to her eyes. Trying to bite back the sob that was trying to escape, she got in the elevator and tried to slow her breathing. 

The elevator doors slid open on the IA floor and she beelined for her office. She crossed through the bullpen of FID to get to her little interior-windowless office, her head bowed. 

“I thought you were going to Atlanta.” Sgt. Elliot said, puzzled as Sharon passed in front of him. “Hey, are you okay?”

“ _I’m fine_.” She snapped, stepping into her office and slamming the door shut. 

The sound startled a few extra officers who hadn’t noticed her enter. Sergeant Elliot blinked with apprehension. A pissed of Captain Raydor was never a good Captain Raydor to try to talk to. 

She flopped down at her desk and tossed her glasses aside, taking her face in her hands and willing herself to calm down. When she looked up her body heaved with a silent sob as the tears rolled down her cheeks. She turned around and grabbed the framed photo of her and Brenda and her parents and clutched it to her chest, no longer caring about how loud she was or if her entire division could hear her.

Oh, she could have killed Will Pope.

**

Sharon had been utterly consumed by her work, more determined than ever to discover the leak. She needed work to avoid thinking about how she wasn’t able to be with Brenda. Nightly conversations during which Brenda cried into the phone and whispered how much she wished she was there broke her heart over and over again. 

The one advantage to being left behind and having Brenda safely across the country was that she could examine the Major Crimes boys without Brenda’s mother hen protectiveness. 

Sharon had her nose in the file folder, staring down at the information on the page. She rounded the corner and startled when she saw Brenda at the whiteboard. 

“Brenda… when did you get back?” Sharon blinked. 

Brenda chewed on her lip, “I got in this morning. I tried calling the house phone.” 

“I spent the night at Angela’s.”

“Oh, yeah, you did mention that last night when we talked.”

“So what… are you doing? Are you… back?” 

“Um, yeah,” Brenda fidgeted. “I’m back at work. I- I’ve got a serious public safety issue in front of me. And I… I couldn’t be in that house anymore… I needed to be here… at work and I need to be here… with you.” 

Sharon gave Brenda’s shoulder a squeeze. Brenda cleared her throat, “so, um, is there anything I can do for you?” 

“Will you be taking your entire division out with you?” 

“That was the plan.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“Well, that depends on how long the subject takes to apprehend.” Brenda shrugged. 

Provenza interrupted, “is there anyone in particular you’d like us to leave behind?” His words weren’t quite sarcastic but Sharon knew better than expect manners from this man. 

“Chief, got an address for Carolyn Loitts.” Gabriel said before Sharon had a chance to object, standing and grabbing his coat. 

“You mind if we pay Ms. Loitts a call? Shouldn’t take long.” Brenda smiled at Sharon weakly. Chief Pope stepped into the murder room, “oh, Chief Pope. I’m sorry, Sharon, excuse me. Chief Pope, I have a special request.” 

“So have I. Will you come with me please? Excuse us everyone.” 

Sharon was grateful that Brenda was leaving again and taking the whole division, she didn’t want to deliver the bad news. She glanced at her watch, Ann was supposed to arrive before too long. 

Sharon was aware that she’d gone soft. Where once was a cold, lump that she passed off for a heart there was now a warm, gooey heart. Of course she’d always loved her children and whomever she’d been in a relationship with but never had she let work get so personal. 

Brenda loved each and every one of her boys and Sharon couldn’t even remember Sergeant Elliot’s first name. It had just been this last year, since the whole leak mess began, that her and Brenda’s relationship got mixed up with their work relationship. 

Sharon’s cell phone vibrated in her pocket and she jumped, cursing herself. “Captain Raydor… Oh, yes, thank you. I’ll be right there.” 

**

“Brenda?” Sharon leaned against the doorframe. “Honey, it’s quitting time.” 

“I know.” Brenda sniffled. “I just… I… maybe we should get a motel room tonight? I’m not ready… I can’t…” 

“I understand your feeling-”

“I really can’t go back home right now.” Brenda objected, her voice cracking. “You were gonna sell the house, right? Why don’t we move?” 

“We can’t run away.” 

“Why not?” Brenda pleaded. 

Sharon shut the door behind her and pulled the blinds. She held out a hand to Brenda; Brenda bit her lip but took Sharon’s hand. Sharon pulled Brenda against her and held her tightly. “I miss your mother too, but your mother is not at our house.”

“I know,” Brenda buried her face in Sharon’s shoulder, “I just… I just…” 

“Come on, I’ll drive us home.” 

“My car…”

“We can pick it up tomorrow,” Sharon coaxed Brenda’s face up to look at her. “Let’s go home. I’ve missed you; Joel misses you.”

“I do miss Joel, but…” 

Sharon stroked Brenda’s cheek. “You are the most fearless person I know. You’re not going to let a house beat you. A house where we’ve had so many great memories; a house on which you made a million fifteen offer just to talk to me.” 

Brenda smiled. “I would have bought it, too.” 

“I know you would have, you’re just crazy enough to do it.” Sharon kissed Brenda’s temple. “Let me take you home.”

Brenda nodded. 

**

When Sharon pulled into the driveway the empty garbage can was rolling around in the street. “I just have to grab the can.” Sharon cut the engine. 

Sharon took it by the handle and dragged it to the side of the house. Brenda had already let herself into the house when Sharon entered. She stepped in and set her keys down. The light spilling into the corridor gave away Brenda’s position. 

She was in the guest room. 

Sharon walked into the room and sat down next to Brenda, putting an arm around her. 

“You all right?” Sharon asked softly. 

“Last time I saw Mama she asked me if I had a minute… and I didn’t have the time just then.” Brenda let out a sob, “and now I’m the one who could really use a minute and she has no time at all.” 

Sharon pulled Brenda into her arms again. “It hurts; I know it does.” She stroked her hair soothingly. “And it never completely goes away but it gets easier to smile and remember the good times.” 

“You’re still sad about your mother?” Brenda lifted her head. 

“Of course I am.” Sharon nodded, “she was the first person who loved me and she was my first confidant. There are still days when I reach for the first number in her telephone number. I see so much of her in Angela and it’s like she’s still with me.” 

“I wish I’d been able to meet her.” 

“She would have loved you.” Sharon ran her fingers through Brenda’s hair. “I see a lot of Willie Ray in you.” 

“You do? Like what?”

“Well, your love of Merlot, for one.” Sharon smiled. 

Brenda laughed and wiped at her eyes. “Let’s open a bottle in honor of mama.” 

“I think we can swing that.” Sharon stood and held her hand out for Brenda. “we’ll call out for Chinese and we’ll have some wine.” 

**

Sharon sipped her wine. “I was just thinking about when I first met your parents. We’d been dating for three or four months and we’d just been exclusive for a couple of weeks. You were so determined to tell them that we were together before they got here and then we were all standing face to face and you couldn’t say ‘girlfriend.’” 

Brenda covered her face with her hands with a smile. 

“You introduced me as your friend Captain Sharon.” Sharon laughed and reached across to take Brenda’s hand. “By the end of their visit your mother pulled me aside and she asked me if I ever dated women. Took her about five minutes to ask… I was stunned and I said ‘sure. Why?’ and she said ‘I’ve seen the way Brenda Leigh looks at you.’”

“She didn’t!” 

“She did! I thought it was important for you to tell your parents so I feigned ignorance.” 

“You knew she knew and the two of you both let me suffer?” 

“You remember when you did tell your parents though?” 

“Of course I do.” Brenda smiled. “I flew us to Atlanta because I was mad at myself for chickening out.” 

“You walked us up to the front door, rang the bell and when they opened it you just blurted it out. I was so pissed off at you for a split second because you sprang it on them before I even got a chance to put down my luggage but that was before your mom hugged me.” 

Brenda wiped at her eyes, still smiling, “she hugged you so tight I almost cried and then she hugged me and daddy shook your hand and you looked so shell shocked by all the sudden physical contact.” 

“And our first Christmas all together.” 

“You got her diamond earrings and she got you a blender. You didn’t understand each other at all yet.” 

“Hey, I ended up getting good use out of that blender.” Sharon insisted, “for a while it was the most used appliance in the house.” 

“Until you and Angela broke it crushing ice for frozen margaritas.” 

“We made some great cocktails in that blender.” Sharon agreed. “And your mother wore those earrings to every fancy occasion we all went to. That first Christmas we all had together was the first Christmas without my own mother; it was really nice of you to share yours.” 

Brenda set her wine glass down and took Sharon’s hands, “everything I have is yours. I want to share everything with you.” 

“Except your candy drawer.” Sharon teased. 

“You don’t even like candy!” 

“Well what if I develop a taste for it – for Reese’s, in particular! – would your candy be my candy?” 

“You know, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, okay?”


	20. The Last Word

Sharon opened the door to the house. “Brenda?” 

“I’m here. I’m right here.” Brenda walked up to Sharon and pulled her into a hug. “Oh my god, Sharon.” 

“Jesus Christ,” Sharon let out a breath and held her tighter, “I’m so glad you’re okay. I can’t believe I wasn’t here; I’m so sorry.”

Brenda laughed a little, “that was my fault.” 

Sharon grinned, nuzzling her hair, “it was, it was all your fault. I was going to say it wasn’t but when you slammed Stroh’s face into the elevator wall you pretty much guaranteed I wouldn’t be home last night.” 

“An unfortunate side effect, I didn’t mean to screw your evening.” 

“My evening? You were almost killed!” Sharon squeezed her, “I never want to let you go.” 

“It’s over, it’s all over. Stroh is going to jail and I can get on with my life.” Brenda pulled back and cupped Sharon’s cheeks. “We can move on with our life.” 

“Pope accepted your resignation.” 

Brenda nodded, “I know. I… accepted the job in the DA’s office.” 

Sharon dropped her arms and paced a little. “Pope and Taylor want to transfer me to Major Crimes.” 

“Take the transfer.” 

“Your squad hates me.” 

Brenda chuckled, “no, _your_ squad hates you. Take the transfer. They need you to keep them honest. I fell down on that and I almost ruined everyone’s lives.” 

“I just… I haven’t been a regular cop in twenty years, I’ve been in Professional Standards for so long… I don’t even know how anymore…” 

Brenda took Sharon into her arms again and drew her in for a kiss. Sharon melted into the kiss; Brenda held onto her supportively. When they separated Brenda looked lovingly into her eyes, “let’s get married this weekend. Let’s fly out to Atlanta tonight and get married on Saturday.” 

Sharon nodded, “let’s do it.” 

9:45am

“Is Josh really coming?” James looked up from the magazine he was reading. His mother and his sister sat across from him having their hair styled. 

“He said he was coming.” Sharon shrugged. 

“I don’t understand the ex-etiquette.” Angela admitted, “you invited Josh but not Dad. Brenda invited Fritz but not Will Pope.” 

“I’m still friends with Josh. Brenda did invite Will Pope but he’s the Chief of Police now and it was too short notice, he couldn’t take the time. And your father? Well, I just didn’t want him to be here. What time is it, James?” 

He looked at his watch, “it’s only 9:50, we’re still on schedule.” 

“Think the same can be said for Brenda?” Angela laughed. 

“I know… I don’t know why I left Charlie and Andy Flynn in charge of keeping her on schedule. She’ll show up to the photo shoot half-baked and reeking of gunpowder.” 

“You paint a beautiful picture of your bride, ma.” 

Sharon smiled. “She is beautiful… she’s smart and she’s a person you really want to have on your side.” 

“Okay, okay, don’t get mushy. There’ll be plenty of time for that later.” Angela chided, “we need to stay on task. James, give us the schedule of events again?”

He dug into his pocket and pulled out the itinerary which had been folded up and stuck unceremoniously into his pocket along with two sticks of gum, his keys and a receipt from TGI Fridays. “10:30 pick up mom and Angela’s dresses and my tux, 11:00 get back to the Johnsons’ and get dressed and have a snack, 11:30 meet up with Brenda and company in the park for photo sesh, free time, 12:30 fix any last minute problems and ceremony to begin promptly at 1:00. Then from 1:30 on we eat, drink and be merry.” 

“And until one I’m supposed keep my hair from frizzing in Atlanta heat?” 

The hair dresser chuckled, “girl, you’ve got so much hairspray in your hair you’ll need a chisel to let it down again.” 

10:33am

Brenda took another large bite out of her hostess snack cake as Charlie continued to French Braid her hair. 

“How can you do it? How can you give up the badge?” Andy asked, shaking his head. “I’ve been going over it in my mind… and it can’t just be because of the reprimand. I’ve got, like, eight and I’m still a cop… I always will be.” 

“It’s about priorities.” Brenda shrugged. “I didn’t have time for the people that are important to me. I’ll have the time now. I can’t fix the things that I did wrong but I can do it right from here on out.” 

“And I can come visit more often?” Charlie looked up with a sweet smile. 

“Uh… we’ll talk to your daddy about that, okay?” 

“But you’re moving to the DA’s office… doesn’t that make you feel dirty?”

“What’s so bad about the DA’s office?” Charlie looked to Andy. 

“Brenda, how have you let this kid get so misguided? Charlie, the DA’s office – well, all lawyers, actually – are bureaucratic assholes.” 

“Language, Andy.” Brenda scolded. 

“I’m 19, Aunt Brenda.” 

“You basically can’t ask them any questions without having to clarify and not use vague language because, heaven forbid, everyone isn’t as annoying and nitpicky as they are.” 

Charlie tied off Brenda’s hair with a cream colored ribbon. “You know that Sharon’s daughter is a lawyer, right? And almost all of Sharon’s friends?”

Andy threw his hands up in defeat, “it’s hopeless. You’ve gone to the dark side.” 

11:15am

“Ange, will you zip me?” 

Angela pulled the zipper up and Sharon turned around and smiled. “Angie! Don’t cry!” 

“You just look so beautiful and so happy…” 

“Angie…” Sharon cooed, wrapping her arms around her. 

“How’s everything – oh god, what’s wrong?” James entered the room. 

“I’m beautiful and happy and apparently that makes your sister sad.” Sharon teased. Angela laughed, pulling back. 

Sharon grabbed a tissue and gently wiped away the errant tears. “I’m happy you’re happy.” 

Sharon nodded, “I know, that means a lot to me.” Sharon smiled and sighed. 

“Hey, Sharon,” Charlie called, entering the room. “Do you want to check Aunt Brenda before we go… shit, you guys look amazing!”

“I can do a quick updo for you, if you’d like.” Angela offered. 

Charlie smiled broadly, “okay.” 

Sharon slipped out of the room and across the hall. Brenda caught sight of Sharon in the mirror and she turned and smiled. “You look…” 

“I know, I know,” Sharon laughed, “I’m ravishing.” 

Sharon leaned down, hands on the chair’s arms. “Your mother’s dress looks wonderful on you.” She whispered and smiled. “And the diamond earrings I gave her for our first Christmas.” 

“I thought it would be a nice touch.” She reached up and touched them. “Are you freaking out yet?” 

“Kind of.” Brenda admitted. “You?”

“I don’t know, I think I’m holding it together.” 

Brenda grinned, “you’re much better at holding it together than I am.” 

Sharon nodded, “definitely.” She kissed Brenda softly, being mindful of their makeup. “Are you ready to go get our pictures taken?”

12:55pm

“There you are.” Provenza groused as Flynn took the seat next to him. “I’ve been surrounded by lawyers for an hour and a half.” 

Flynn smoothed out his tie as he made himself comfortable in the white wooden chair. “Where’s Tao and Julio?”

“Tao’s cutting it close, his wife didn’t get off her shift until this morning. Julio’s been laying the groundwork with one of Raydor’s cousins.” 

“What about you? There are some lookers on Raydor’s side, anyone you have your eye on?” 

Provenza crossed his arms and pouted stubbornly. “No.” 

The Taos sidestepped down the aisle and took their seats on the other side of Flynn. “Right under the wire, guys.” Flynn smiled. 

“Flights are always delayed when you’re on a schedule.” Cathy smiled, giving Flynn a hug. “Did we miss anything?”

“Nah, the show’s about to start.” Flynn looked over at Provenza who was still scowling like a gargoyle on the Notre Dame. Flynn punched Provenza in the shoulder and Provenza glared. “Be a sport, would you? You are at a _lesbian wedding_. When are you going to have that opportunity again?”

Provenza nodded, “true.”

The music started up and everyone stood. Angela walked down first and took her spot on Sharon’s side. Then Sharon with James on her arm walked down the aisle. James kissed his mother’s cheek and then took his spot behind his sister. Charlie went next and took her spot on Brenda’s side. 

Sharon’s heart started to pound and a smile spread across her face as Brenda started down the aisle with Clay. 

Brenda made it down the aisle, kissed Clay’s cheek and took her spot. Brenda took Sharon’s hands. 

“Sharon… my Sharon, my Captain.” She smiled. “I love you. You've stuck by my side through thick and thin, and I know I don't always make it easy. You keep me on my toes, you keep me honest; and when you can't, you keep me in chocolate. You're my best friend, and I want to spend the rest of my life making sure you know how much I love and appreciate you." 

Angela handed Sharon the ring and she slipped it onto Brenda’s finger. “Brenda, I love the chaos you bring to my life. You remind me not to take myself too seriously. You make me laugh when I don’t think there’s anything to smile about; you make me happy when I think everything is going wrong. You are always exactly what I need and I love you with my whole heart.” 

Charlie handed Brenda the ring and she slid it onto Sharon’s finger. Sharon wrapped her arms around Brenda and kissed her which elicited applause. Brenda tightened her grip on Sharon, deepening the kiss, feeling Sharon smiling against her. 

1:28pm

“Would you unzip me?” Brenda said finally after trying in vain to do it herself. “It’s just out of reach…”

“Don’t twist your arms like that,” Sharon scolded, easily slipping the zipper down. “You’d rather push your arm out of its socket than ask for help?” 

Brenda turned around, the dress slipping loosely to her waist and cupped Sharon’s cheeks, pulling her in for a kiss. Sharon deepened the kiss, wrapping her arms around her tightly. 

When they broke for air Sharon pulled back a little, “everyone’s waiting for us.” 

“There’s an open bar. Let ‘em wait.” 

Sharon grinned, “oh, well, when you put it that way…” 

1:43pm

“Hummingbird Heartbeat or I Want Candy for when they walk in?” Angela approached her brother with Charlie in tow. 

“Sweet Cherry Pie, obviously, it has a way more epic intro.”

“More epic than I Want Candy?” Angela demanded incredulously. Angela rolled her eyes and threw up her hands, “you guys are hopeless. I’m just going to put it on random and whatever happens happens.” 

James reached for the iPod and Angela slapped his hands. “Don’t touch my iPod.” 

He pouted at his sister, rubbing his hand. “I’ll go be lookout…” He said with indignation. 

Angela kept her eyes on James and when he turned to her and nodded Americano by Lady Gaga started playing “ _I met a girl in East L.A. In floral shorts and sweet as May…_ ” as Brenda and Sharon walked in.

Angela looked at Charlie nodded, “I can live with that!” 

“Hell yeah!” Charlie cheered as they high-fived. 

Sharon left Brenda in the middle of the dancing area with a promise to be right back. She whispered in Angela’s ear and then rejoined Brenda. 

“This is the most romantic thing I’m ever going to do so brace yourself.” Sharon teased, wrapping her arms around Brenda. 

[Ingrid Michaelson’s cover of Can’t Help Falling In Love](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sQeQC4hT10) started playing and Brenda laid her head on Sharon’s shoulder. “You sap.” She grinned playfully. Brenda gave her a little squeeze and whispered, “I love it.” 

Brenda laid her head on Sharon’s shoulder and her eyes fluttered shut. 

2:15pm

“Can I get a champagne?” Brenda asked the bartender. 

Andy approached, “hey Chief,” he saluted her with his glass of sparkling cider. “Great ceremony - everything’s really beautiful.” 

“Thanks. Angela and Charlie got pretty much everything set up. Maybe Angela should quit the law and join up with Charlie as weddin’ planners.” 

“What are you looking at?” He turned around and then back to Brenda. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean in the last two minutes you’ve looked behind me at least 10 times.” 

Brenda sighed, “Sharon’s dancing with Josh Lewis and that’s okay because he’s her oldest friend and he’s a very nice guy and I trust Sharon implicitly…” 

“Oh, yeah, I can tell by the way you keep staring at them.” Andy laughed. 

The bartender handed Brenda the champagne and she accepted it, sipping it. 

**

“Congratulations on your promotion.” Josh smiled. 

“Well, it’s not really a promotion; it’s a lateral move.” Sharon shrugged. 

“You’re being too modest. It’s a really _good_ lateral move.” He chuckled, “of course, if you’d stuck with law then you would easily be making six figures.” 

“Yeah, doing what? Helping rich people stay rich?” She shook her head, “no, I’m happy just where I am. Plus, I’m pretty sure you’re up to your ears in Raydors over there anyway.” 

“You might be right about that.” 

“Hey Josh,” James approached, “mind if I cut in?” 

“Oh, by all means.” Josh gave Sharon’s shoulders a squeeze and kissed her cheek. “Congratulations again, I’m happy for you.” 

“Thank you.” After Josh walked away she smiled at James, “to what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Your woman’s about to have a hernia.” James spared a glance at Brenda who was noticeably relieved that Josh now had his hands off Sharon. “Figured I’d put her out of her misery.” 

“Josh is one of my oldest friends.” 

“I know.” 

“And we were only together twice – it was never serious, just physical.”

“Mom!” James protested, his hands going to his ears. 

“I’m not a nun, James.” Sharon laughed. “Hey, where are you going?” 

Brenda approached, “what are you doing?” 

“Torturing my son.” Sharon grinned mischievously. She wrapped her arms around Brenda’s waist. “What are you doing?”

“Dancing with the most beautiful woman on the planet – don’t tell my wife.” 

“My lips are sealed.” 

**

Sharon sat at the table surveying the backyard full of friends and family. She actually did it. She married Brenda Leigh Johnson. In the loosest definition of the word, of course, considering it wasn’t legally binding yet, but still, she’d done it. She watched Brenda chatting with her boys and smiled. 

They’d certainly miss her and she’d miss them. That was a challenge for another day. 

Brenda caught Sharon’s eye and smiled back. She excused herself and walked up to Sharon. “I didn’t mean to make you end your conversation.” 

“I was missing you anyway.” 

“You’re going to be so sick of me before too long.” Sharon teased, leaning in and kissing Brenda’s lips softly. 

“Yeah, yeah. If I’m not sick of you yet it’s probably not going to happen.” Brenda reached across and took Sharon’s champagne glass. 

“Hey,” Sharon chuckled. 

Clay picked up his glass and clanked the spoon against it until he had everyone’s attention. “I just want to say how happy I am to have everyone here. When Brenda Leigh was young and I envisioned the person who would be right for her I always pictured someone who would challenge her and help her see another perspective. I pictured someone who would help ground her but allow her to be herself. I pictured someone with a good heart and a strong will, someone patient and loyal. And as long as I’m being honest, I pictured someone who would watch the Super Bowl with me.” 

Brenda took Sharon’s hand and gave it a squeeze. 

“I didn’t know that the person I pictured for Brenda Leigh was going to be a _woman_ but Sharon is everything I pictured for my baby girl and more. I am so glad that you’ve been in all of our lives, Sharon, I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Sharon said with tears in her eyes. 

Once the party resumed Flynn approached the two women. “So, what’s next for you two?” He took a swig of his ginger ale. 

“A couple of days rest here and then back to LA. Maybe take a little vacation after we get settled in our new positions.” 

Flynn watched Brenda for a few silent moments. “Did you say _positions_? _Plural_?” 

Brenda turned bright red and Sharon closed her eyes with a cringe. “Did I-” Brenda stuttered, “did I say _positions_?”


End file.
